Society for the Preservation of My Sanity

Lemme see if I can coherently give you a quick rundown....

Thursday night 7/27:

• the Lindas all came over so Mr. Linda could look at the You-Know-What.
  
• both Corey and Casey had to go to work at around 9pm, so they left whilst the Lindas were still here
  
• then the Lindas left around 10pm or so just after Tommy sliced into his right thumb on purpose then threw the pocket knife with which he was doing the slicing almost stabbing Mr. Linda in the face. all the Lindas sped away as I threatened to beat Tommy with my massive purse if he didn't go to the ER.
  
• after we stopped the bleeding, I finally put Tommy to bed and settled down with the TV to wait on the boys again. don't like going to bed til they get home. thankfully, this time they get back around midnight! so we all hit the hay!

  Friday 7/28:
  

• the phone rings at about 5am. it's MIL calling to tell us that, guess what? FIL is back in the hospital again. okay, what now? they're not sure. pain from back to upper chest, etc., etc. he's in observation. we both head up to the hospital to see what the heck is going on again.
  
• I end up staying there til about 8pm just to keep MIL company (and from going bonkers, too)

  Saturday 7/29:
  

• we go to the Lindas' house for Mr. Z's 6th birthday party in the afternoon. i don't even remember what went on that morning... don't ask. we take Tucker with us. at around 4:30p or so, we decide that it's now or never for going to mow FIL's massive, ginormous, hulking yard/field grass-growth area. so we secure Mr. & Mrs. Linda's word that they won't kill our boy and leave Corey behind and off we go to mow... with two dinky mowers.
  
• by this point, I'm exhausted and Tommy's not doing much better either. so while he and Casey mow, I decide well, what the heck, I'll "tidy up a little". understatement. of. the. year. heh! ;)
  
• they mow and I chase body powder around and do laundry for almost five hours straight. yes, you read that right. the one mower runs out of gas. they use the other mower to go get more gas (from shed -- did I mention this is a 12 acre place?) for it, but then it runs out of gas, then it just stops running all together. and... there's not a drop more gas on the whole place. so we load up to get Corey and more gas.
  
• finally get back to FIL's and head straight on up into the back 40 since we have the jumper cables with us. Got first mower gassed up, then since it's dark and neither mower has headlights, we need Explorer for lightage. follow first mower way back into woods (where IL's keep a walking path mowed) to find non-running mower. Get it started and finally we start out, but it's dangerous in dark, even with SUV headlights. it's slow going.
  
• we finally make it back down to the shed to put up the one mower (other stores in a shed at top of hill) to find it all locked up... MIL has come home while we were up in woods. so we open it all back up and put up mower, then knock on door hoping she won't call 911. she doesn't.
  
• we finally head back home. Corey was fed sustinance at the Lindas but we had not eaten since cake at 2pm...and before that? um, nothing much. so Case, Tommy and I were pretty starved. (there wasn't much in IL's fridge, so we didn't even try to eat outta there) we stop at waffle house, eat then go home and fall into bed (after showers!) at around 1am. sheesh!

  Sunday 7/30:
  

• Tommy and Corey go to work around 7:30am to help Dad with that bad leaky mess job I mentioned in an earlier post. thankfully, they are home in plenty of time to watch our favorite church service. awesome service!!!
  
• sometime or other yesterday, they figure out that FIL's gallbladder is the culprit of his pain now. I am giving him hard way to go about making sure he sees to it they get all his rotting parts out this time. he laughs because he likes me.
  
• they're talking about doing the surgery on Monday when Tommy has to drive to Indiana for work and I have to be in Lex for a doctor's appointment. nice. see? FIL is always making trouble. (he's laughing)
  
• I have to go get groceries because I've been trying to get them for the past three days without success. I insist on going alone because the last two days of traveling around with the other male personages of my household has made me want to jump out of the vehicle while driving over the speed limit down very curvy roads. just ask them.
  
• but then I sitll have to rush because guess who has to go see guess who else again today after spending like 8 hours together the day before! what's with these teenage hooligans?!?!
  
• i don't remember anything else. my neck and shoulders hurt like heck.

  Monday 7/31:
  

• Tommy leaves at 6:45 for his trip. I leave at 8am. Mom goes with me, of course, so we stop at the hospital quickly before we leave. the doctor had already done the final test to confirm the gallbladder was the actual problem. nasty problem... causing infection in liver and blockage where it should empty into intestines. hence, the pain. ugh!
  
• it takes longer getting through my appointment, but somehow I don't mind. the final report was...

• my A1c reading was 6.7% which is fantabulous! target is under 7%, so whoo-hoo!
  
• average blood sugar was 143. my hard target is 130. target range is 100-160. cooool!!
  
• i have lost 8 pounds since I was there last (4 months), so 2 pounds/month woah! and I've lost 13 pounds since the beginning of the year.... without really trying other than just not eating when I'm not hungry... and then um... well, trying to not BE hungry as often as I can. heh

• i get reports during the day from MIL. FIL does great with his surgery and is up walking around by the time we get back into town and go up to the hospital to see him. they say he'll be released in the morning. PTL!

  Tuesday, 8/1
  

• went with Tommy to ear doc. he's been having trouble with his left ear for quite some time now. tried several different things, but nothing has helped, so...
  
• the audiologist did her tests after the dr. looked and could see no fluid. the tests show he has some low-tone nerve damage. I was ready to jump on my soapbox about all the unprotected exposure to guns and engines, etc... but doc stops me and says that this kind of damage is rarely produced by exposure to that kind of noise. more likely it could have been a virus or something like that. they ordered an MRI which he goes for next week to make sure there's nothing besides the nerve damage that they can't see.
  
• if it is nothing else, then his only option will be a hearing aid. doc seemed to try to 'assure' him he didn't need to think about it til it affected his daily life. we both looked at each other and said it does!
  
• doc says the new digital hearing aids are nothing at all like the old ones. much more adjustable and not like a simple amplifier... they can be adjusted to various tones, etc. but they aren't covered by insurance and run about 2K. ahhh, there's the rub. well, we'll manage it somehow. God will provide what he needs I'm sure.
  
• the entire time we were gone, his phone was beeping and buzzing and ringing. no wonder he's half loopy. I hate that thing. the man was off from 12pm on, and the phone never stopped. that just is NOT fair. gargh.

  So... there you have it. now I'm going to bed!

  Posted by subject G~ at 07:49 PM | Permalink | Comments (14) | TrackBacks (0)

At least nobody died.

There's just something about July 19. Something that makes people want to get sick, injured or um...well, check out!

Tommy's gramma passed away on our anniversary a couple of years ago. A couple years before that is when he pulled his grand doozie and broke his collar bone. But we won't talk about that now, WILL WE?????? And then here we are... yet another two years later... with Tommy's father in ICU after the appendicitis episode.

*sigh* I don't know what it is about those people. Sheesh.

So anyhow...more stuff went on after that last post. I mean, of course it couldn't just be like a simple appendectomy, doncha know?

After that surgery was over and all seemed well with the world, he started feeling ill... his blood pressure dropped slightly, then he started throwing up blood.

Hmm... not a good sign. Of course THEN his bp dropped hugely!! Tommy had gone back to work by then, so I got the call from the hospital lady telling me that This is MM Medical Center...Is Tommy there? I'm like um, NO...what's going on? So, she explains to me that FIL is having a little trouble and MIL is a little upset and wants him to come.

I told her I'd get in touch with Tommy if I could and if not, I'd be up there myself.

Ya'll can't imagine how freaked out MIL gets over stuff. *sigh* I knew if SOMEbody didn't get up there to do Outburst Control, someone could possibly be calling security on her.

Seriously...

But more on that later....

I got hold of Tommy, so he headed up there, and I hurried to swab off the sweat and dog hairs (I'd been weeding and brushing a very hairy, shedding dog! Urgh!) and pull my sweaty hair into a ponytail and Casey and I just hurried up there too.

When I walked into the Obseravation area, he looked like a little white lumpy pile. He was in really bad shape. Turns out he was hemorraging and they were going to take him back into surgery.

And yeah...MIL was in Freak-Out City.... matter of fact, there was talk of electing her as mayor, I think.

MIL has always been this way, but in years past, I didn't have to deal with it so much. But now with so many things happening with FIL, who can usually keep her calmed down???? Ya see?? Well, it's been a whole different ballgame, but I'm finally learning to quit tiptoe-ing around her about how she's behaving.

She doesn't seem to be able to help it in one way...I mean, it seems to be her nature to just immediately start all this I'm so AFRAID *bawl with head in hands* If he dies, I don't want to live!! *bawls louder* I don't know what I'll do if he dies! *voice getting higher & shakier* She just works herself up into this frenzied state and she'll get mad if you try to stop her. She'll ask you questions geared to feed her panic fire and if you try to put water on it? She will get this look as if you've betrayed her and she'll start bawling again...

I'm telling you. She's about impossible!!!

Anyhow... their pastor was there, and I really like him. At that time, after they'd just taken him for the second surgery and she was working her way up to a full-on fit, my dad, both the boys, Tommy and I were all there, too. We'd been trying to y'know...comfort her with analogies of how God takes care of things and we're not supposed to worry. How that no matter what, God is in control and whatever happens, it's all in His hands and it's all in our best interest because God never does anything that is not for our good, even if it doesn't seem that way at the time.

So Preacher walks up (he's a big ol' country fella) and she's started that bawling and wailing again. He says it's going to be alright. She answers with wails of BUT I'M SO AFRAID!!! And he says Mm-hmm...and there you sit, a-sinnin'.

*gasp* (and snicker, too!!)

She looked up with her mouth wide open and then frowned and told him she didn't wanna hear that! (see? I told you she'd turn on you if you didn't feed her pity fire!) So he said, That may be, but I'd be doing wrong if I didn't tell you so.

And he just stood there, smiling. I coulda kissed him. ;)

Later, after one of the nurses had run out to say he was doing really good in surgery, MIL calmed down a little. I pulled her off to herself and talked to her head.

I asked her What good does it do when you do that? Does it make FIL feel any better? Whether he knows you're carrying on like that or not? NO. Does it make YOU feel any better? NO. How about God? Does it show Him that you're trusting Him? Um, NO. Now, I know that your family all reacts to things in a similar way. They like to jump to the worst case senerio and make a mountain out of a mole hill. And I KNOW, over much smaller things than a surgery!! I know that.
But you have to work on quitting that. It's not good for you. You need to start recognizing when you're getting on that 'track' and stop yourself. ......

Anyhow...she agreed, etc. But that's how she usually is, too. She'll be all apologetic about how she acted after it's all over. Then she'll do the same thing again. It just freaks ME out. I just can't quite handle someone carrying on like that. Makes me wanna just smack her sometimes, ya know? Like in the movies.... Snap out of it!!!

*sigh* So FIL came through surgery #2 very well. They'd given him so much blood that the bleeding had stopped before they even opened him up (he takes a couple of blood thinning meds, thus the bleeding, so...med-free blood helped stop bleeding) They cleaned out the hemorrage mess and reglued all the previous incisions and closed him back up.

He's been doing really well ever since. Tommy's stayed the past two nights in ICU with him while his mom went home to sleep. I have been going during the day for several hours, just to give her a break to go eat or whatever.

Going to MM Med Center? You need someone in the room to watch out for you.... If you're not mobile enough to get up and leave or whatever? You need to have someone there to take care of you or ask questions or chase down a nurse/doctor or who knows!!! *sigh* It's just not a good idea to be up there alone, okay?

We're hoping they'll move him to a regular room today and maybe let him go home tomorrow. That man bounces back from this kinda stuff quicker than anyone I've ever seen!! Pr0st@te c@ncer/surgeries, heart @tt@ck/surgery.... He just keeps on ticking.... amazing.

So anyhow...um, there was no anniversary celebration. The evening of the 18th, I stayed at the hospital til about 1:30 the next morning... I went home and left Tommy there with his dad. When I got up that morning, the 19th, I got dressed and headed back to the hospital but Tommy had already gone. He'd had to stop by work to take care of some stuff (of course *grrr*) So I didn't see him til like 4pm... he was still sleeping and I was exhausted, so I piled into bed and we slept til about 6pm. We got up, I rustled up some supper, we ate, talked to Corey, who hadn't been home from work very long, poor baby, and went back to the hospital. I stayed til about 11pm, and Tommy spent the night up there again.

So there you go. Another lovely anniversary marked by memories of the hospital ER.

Gah.

Posted by subject G~ at 08:54 AM | Permalink | Comments (7) | TrackBacks (0)

I wanna thank everyone for their encouraging comments and prayers with regard to this post.

If you read the previous post, you might realize I've been a bit moody. Auntie has taken her sweet time getting here this month for some reason. I guess she's been busy hassling some other poor soul and it made her late for her appointment with me.

One would think maybe that'd be a good thing as maybe it'd mean she's all tired out, right? Well, so far, um. NO. That's not been the case. Matter of fact, she's been unusually grouchy and demanding. I'm ready to toss her out on her nasty, hateful behind right now....and she just showed up yesterday! Sheesh!

So...anyhow, it's pretty obvious that the post referenced above was a little hormone-driven. Even though, yes, I admit...all the stuff I wrote about is happening. We are going through a really bumpy stretch right now.

But it's not like we've never seen a gravel road before, ya know? It's just that this has been one of those very long bumpy roads with lots of pot holes and overgrown trees hanging down to block the view ahead. One of those roads that, perhaps on a cool, carefree afternoon, maybe on horserback, would be an enjoyable ride...but in a frantic, stressed dash in a 10yo SUV? Um, it's not a nice ride at all. Heh.

Anyway....I just wanted to let you know, I appreciate the prayers and the concern. I just love you guys for being there for me this way. I really don't have another soul on earth that I can share this with so it makes me very grateful for my internet friends. You can't imagine how thankful I am for you all.

Tommy had to go up to the hospital early this morning to be with his mom while his dad was taken into surgery. He'd been up there all night and finally got a diagnosis of appendicitis. He came through fine, there was no rupture which was miraculous considering how much inflammation there was. Anyhow, T came home a bit ago to change for work. He asked me what we were going to do for tomorrow.

I have absolutely no clue. I never have any say so in that kind of thing, ya know? I just have no clue. We really aren't gonna have the funds (I don't think) for a night away...and really...going out to eat just doesn't sound appealing to me, at least not right now, at all....so what does one do? Maybe I'll see if there's anything decent on at the movies? I can't think of ANYthing.

Mostly, I guess, cuz I'm not feeling up to anything today. Flo's a real bear, ya know? I'm light-headed every time I stand up or move around, etc., etc.... I think we have agreed to put off any "celebration" until the weekend, so maybe I'll feel better and can come up with something decent to do by then...but with limited funds AND limited entertainment choices around here....??? I just dunno. I've been so out of the "go do something" mood for so long...I have NO CLUE!!! Is that not saaad?!?! *sigh*

Okay...so you're updated now. LOL!

I gotta go. Need to go pull some weeds from around my sunflowers so they don't get cut down with a weedeater! Then? Maybe I'll go sit by the pool while Case swims. Maybe. ?? We'll see.

Love yas....

Posted by subject G~ at 01:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)

Okay, people. You'll realize once I get on with this post that I've obviously been thinking about the topic for quite some time. I wasn't sure I'd post about it, though.

But I've decided I will. Why? Well, I'm not yet sure about that part. I've debated about whether posting my thoughts here would be
1) embarrassing to myself or
2) embarrassing to my husband or
3) make him angry instead or
4) be discouraging to anyone who knows me as a Christion (which I'd hope is everyone, but *sigh*...) or
5) all of the above.

The more I thought on it though...the more I thought it might instead be an encouragment. If nothing else, it would be an example for pointing to and saying See? I don't have it so bad! Ha! ;) or It's not just us...everyone has problems.

Anyhow, the topic? Marriage. My marriage, to be exact.

Our 21st anniversary will be here in two days. Yep. Two days. It's weird how that doesn't seem possible. I mean, 20 seemed like such a monumental accomplishment (by the grace of God!) and it's not that we're all like Oh, has it really been 21 years?! Um no. We're more like Are you sure it isn't like 81? Check the date again...

*sigh*

Maybe it's just the stage of life we're in now, but it seems every single day it becomes more obvious how little we have in common. It seems the kids and the mortgage are the only common threads that connect us to each other anymore.

Sounds dismal, eh?

I could go into a big tirade of all the long-standing disagreements we've had over the past two decades. I could recount for you the defining moments when I didn't think we were going to make it through. All the ways I feel he's abandoned me....and maybe times I've made him feel that way too. *sigh*

After all this time? It's just a literal pile of crap. Unresolved issues that, when brought up in an effort to finally resolve them...well, let's just say they n-e-v-e-r get resolved.

So anyway...it seems like perhaps maybe in the past week or so that he might be showing a little interest in trying to figure things out and make them better before it's just me and him left here with nothing to talk about. It's so hard not to just blow that off because he's like that...really gung ho about something for a day or two, then nothing.

As it stands, I just feel really sick over how we've failed at our duty to our kids, to our family, let alone to each other. I've always felt like I tried "more" to make things work. I'm not sure how Tommy feels about that, but it's my take on how it's been. I suspect he may agree. He's spent a lot of time working, very hard and very long, but all that amounted to was a lot of time away from home. As a young wife, it was hard not to be angry that he didn't spend or "want to" spend that time with me. And then there were the ideas that got planted by others...maybe he wasn't where he said he was....etc., etc. None of which was true, of course, but when you're young...ya know.

*sigh*

I just wish we'd both had better training to be a married couple, ya know? I wish we'd understood what was really important, how to communicate effectively with each other. I wish we'd been mature enough, not necessarily in age, but emotionally and spiritually, to build a stronger marriage.

Ah well...but perhaps God has had another plan in mind all along. I'm finding it hard to reach Him these days too. There are moments when I can pray earnestly for this situation, for the boys and others in my life....but then there are times I just feel there's nothing in me to reach with. Can anyone relate to that?

I know God isn't very pleased with the way we've been living our lives. Not that we're boozin' and doin' drugs now, but we're not at all where we should be with Him...we've allowed Him to be pushed to the outskirts of our lives from the center, where is His rightful place. Pushed out by worries, anger, hateful actions of others, etc., etc.

But I also know He is a forgiving God. I'm trying so hard to get back under His wing where I belong. I think Tommy might be trying too, in his own way. I pray that he is, anyway.

So....I ask that you would pray for us when it comes to your mind, please. We need emotional and spiritual healing. It seems to me everywhere I turn, there's hurt...in my marriage, bitterness from my kids (maybe? can't tell WHAT it is?!), anger at myself, deep wounds from people in churches who've tried (and succeeded somewhat) to cause division in our marriage..... We just need to heal.

So if you think of it, or when you think of me, please lift us up and know I thank God for you all everytime I think of you.

Thanks.

Posted by subject G~ at 03:03 PM | Permalink | Comments (6) | TrackBacks (0)

Well, this whole week-without-kids thing has been completely different than I had imagined it'd be.

We've been eating out a lot. That's o k a y, but not like wildly enjoyable. Mostly we've been eating out because we're both so pooped it's either starve or go get something. Sheesh!

You wanna know what we did Sunday? After they packed up and left us, left me bawling after the whole 3-minute crash course on what to do if they all die---then went speeding off down the road, waving happily?!?!?!?!

Well, it was close to 11am by then, but we both kinda needed a bit of a recoup period, so we just flopped in the living room and talked about what all we could do...or rather, Tommy talked about what we could do, and I'd then inform him of how I didn't feel like it. Guh.

We'd been rushing around like crazy since rolling out of bed about four hours earlier. I had splashed my face with water just to get my eyes open and merely dragged a brush through my hair and snapped a couple of barrettes into it to keep the bangs outta my face. I pulled on an old "work" t-shirt and a bleach-spotted pair of jeans. That was the extent of my attire. As for Tommy? I don't think he'd even combed his hair. He had on the shirt he'd worn when we took the boys out to eat the night before. Unbelievably, it didn't have food on it. He'd put on the same jeans, too, which wasn't a big deal considering he'd only had them on a little over an hour. Doing laundry is not my favorite thing, y'know. But it'd been nice if he had hung them up instead of just throwing them on the floor if he was going to wear them again. *sigh* He put on one of probably two pair of totally white socks then his paint-spotted light-camel colored suede boat shoes. The ones that all the boys grab anytime they need to run outside for a minute...in the mud, rain, snow, etc...

With this in mind..... we finally opted to just run over to Kay-Eff-See to pick up some chicken. Since we were doing the drive thru, nobody was going to doll-up, so we just jumped in the truck and left. Of course, as we pulled away, Tommy says, "You wanna go down to the lake and eat?"

Gah! It's quite a drive to the lake, first of all. Secondly, Karen was gonig to by coming by in a little while to discuss possible purchase of the Trep. Thirdly? WE LOOKED LIKE CRAP WITH A HEAPING SIDE OF CRAP!!!

Sheesh! So, I said how's about we just find somewhere closer with trees where we can hear birds?

Okay...so we drove to the other side of town to an area that's pretty wooded...it's near the County Extention Ofc...that's right across from the Eff-Bee-Eye Complex...which are both located behind the next couple of places I'll mention.

We pulled into the parking lot and Tommy says, "Duh! Why didn't we just go down to the pond at home?!?!" Sheesh! I agreed, so we drove on through the shopping center, where Tommy then says, "Heeeeeyyyyy, is Seers open today?!---I need to go in there..." I says fine, then I need to go in BeegLoots, which is right next door.

"Are you gonna go like that?" asks a very unwise Tommy. I say, "Why not? What are you trying to say? Besides, are YOU going to go like THAT?" To which he answers, "Well, I'm game if you are." And I reply, "Fine, but if we see anybody we know, I will slit your throat."

"Um, well, okay," says a nervous Tommy, "do you just wanna eat right here in the parking lot?!" Um....well, it's not like I haven't done that before...so.....we proceed to partake of our chicken dinner, FINALLY, in the parking lot at the shopping center.

Soon there's an old car that pulls into the space in front of us. And older man, probably close to 80, gets out. He's wearing a bright pink oxford shirt and slacks, a big watch and big rings. From the passenger side steps a woman close to the same age, probably a bit younger, wearing faded red peddal pushers that are a little too small, a sleeveless top with one of those metal-link belts at her waist, the ends of it hitting about her knees. Over that she has a sleeveless tunic. Her longish hair is tied back in a scarf. She has sparkly thongs on her feet (gasp! don't even GO there!!) She was quite thick in the middle and they were a funny site, so of course we began to analyze them.

I explained to Tommy that she was his mistress and was carrying his love child. You could tell he was a swinger by the pink shirt. Oh, and by those support undies wrapped around the car annena.

Um, yeah.

Anyhow...yes, we DID go into the stores all nasty and grody looking. Nobody knew us, thank the Lord. I bought a few goodies in BL, and Tommy bought NOTHING in Seers, PTL! ;) He did find out how to exchange a faulty tool, though.

So, that's how we spent that first evening, other than starting car-deal talk with Karen.

Which brings me to yesterday when WE SOLD THE TREP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOO &-a HOO!!!!

Yep. Tommy checked on the damage to her other vehichle and it was beyond repair unless she wanted to sink about 2K into it. GAH! So, she paid half down and will make payments on the rest. Corey's thrilled.

The Dee-Cee Crew are having a great time, it seems. Corey lost his 'net access after that first night. But we've been talking by phone when "free minutes" begin. Heh! He says he has tons of pix and I can't even begin to take in all the info he tries to give me.

He said he'd written a post like that second day, so we'll have to see what that's like when he gets back. Casey and the Grands are doing great too. Sounds like they will start heading back soon. Dad's got so many calls for work...well, it's getting critical. *sigh*

Anyhow, they're planning to be back sometime Sunday evening, so the trip isn't gonna last as long as they'd hoped or planned. But I can't wait to hear all the poop!! ;Þ

Since we got the Trep sold and transferred yesterday, we are now concentrating on the Fast Horsey, here on out referred to as FH. *snicker* It is now paid off and we have the title in hand. Problem is it's a salvage title and we need to get it cleared, but that means fixin' which means buyin' parts and WORK!!!

They've had fits trying to find the wheels for this FH. They're kinda rare or something and Corey wants to put it back stock. They ARE really cool wheels. Anyhow, one is cracked, so we've been on the hunt for another (or two, since another one is damaged (but not dangerous to drive with). Tommy finally tracked down a place in TN that has at least one, plus the fender that's needed. And I THINK that'll be all the parts they need to get started working on this bay-bay. ;) After they get that stuff done, then they have to take it for inspection, pay a lofty fee so they can get the cleared title back in 2 days, instead of 2 weeks. Considering we'll be down to one vehicle til then, it's kinda important.

We've told Corey he can't use our vehicle to drive to Duh County anymore! That's when the check engine light started coming on.

Okay, okay...I'm kidding about the not driving to Duh County, but not about the light. However, if he breaks it driving to or from Duh County?--- then WE GET THE FAST HORSEY!!! WOOO! ROFL! He'll have to hoof it or pedal it back and forth to Duh from now on and get some sort of basket for The Girl. ROFLMBO!!!!!!!!! (now that would be worth hiding in wait with a camera, wouldn't it Girl's Mother?! LOL!)

Oh, well...anyhow, looks like we'll be heading to TN sometime tomorrow to get some parts. Tommy's hating to take more time off work (he had to take off most of the day yesterday to take care of the Trep stuff) but there's NO WAY I'm going down there on a Saturday. Traffic is HORRIBLE!!!!!

Alrighty then. I think that gets you all up to date. Other than telling you that I've got this horrible dry wheezy hacking cough that about kills me each night? Yeah, that's it. I'm tired. Very tired.

Have a wonderful weekend if I don't post before then!!!

Blessings!

Posted by subject G~ at 12:54 PM | Permalink | Comments (6) | TrackBacks (0)

Wow. Did I completely have Tommy all wrong?

Well, sorta.

I didn't get flowers yesterday. And I didn't have supper all ready. Of course, he didn't get home on time either, so....*shrugs*

I DID get an adorable bag (out of character for him to buy a fancy bag!) containing a very yummy-smelling vanilla candle in a stoneware crock and a heart-shaped box of sugar-free chocolates. But those were nothing compared to the card I got.

Now, Tommy's been a bit quirky in his card purchases over the years. He'll either get one that's ornate and overly elaborate (to me) or he'll get a really cheesy one or one that's pretty plain-jane. There seems to be no in-between for my man. Nuh-uh!

And another wierd thing he does? He signs his full name, like it's some sort of contract or something. That's about the most bizarre thing I've ever seen in the area of card-giving. But that's what he does. Whether it's mine, his parents', his kids....no matter. He will sign his full name to it, as if you may have forgotten it or something.

ROFLOL!!!

But last night? He outdid himself completely.

It's a beautiful little card, pink, but with no obligatory mention of the V word. Inside, it has blank white lining....except for what he wrote....

Yes, he misspelled some words, and his penmanship is atrocious, but ya know what?

On the facing side is a hand-drawn heart of "purfect" proportions.

Just the fact that he went to the trouble of writing out these things...when normally all I'd get is his entire, full name scrawled across the bottom of a card? It means the world to me.

My letter to him? Well....I have to admit, its intentions were to express my love for him, but it turned out to be a bit pessimistic.

I told him I love him.

But I don't know why he loves me.

I am sorry for being such a failure...

...so hard to love...

...so hard to live with...

...so hateful and negative and melancholy...

I am sorry for making him feel unloved.

I wish I could be a different person...

...the person he deserves...

...the person he probably thought he was getting.

But I love him, and I am thankful for his love.

Even though he's hurt me many times over the years.

I see that I have done the same to him.

God has always seen us through.

...but I don't know why.

Etc, etc, etc....

Pretty morbid, I guess. But it's what came spilling out of me.

After he read it, he came and hugged me. He told me he doesn't see what I see. Because I see things too negatively...too harshly. All he sees is the woman he loves.

*bawl*

Yeah. So over a pan of frying venison, we declared our love for each other.

Boring? Perhaps.

Sad? Possibly.

But true? Definitely.

I love my husband.

Even when it's not a commercializing money-grubbing holiday.

Heh.

Posted by subject G~ at 01:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (11) | TrackBacks (0)

Hope you've all had a good weekend.

I sure did despite how I thought things would go. Goes to show what a little prayer can do, I say. ;)

I had my belated birthday breakfast with the two girlfriends of mine. The meeting site has become Cr@cker B@rre| because, well...do I really even need to explain? Yeah. I thought not.

I am the baby of the group with K nearing her 41st birthday in February and D coming up on her 44th in May, so I keep them in their place with that tidbit every chance I get.

I am also always the late one. They give me no end of grief over holding up their plans. Which usually consist of nothing much. And besides, I know they secretly love it because it gives them time to get their caffeine rush going before The Young Whippersnapper gets there with her quick wit and sparkly charm. *cough* *sputter* Whatever!

Anyhow, so I get this email from D telling me the time, place and such and she says something like It's your birthday so you can be late if you want to *yadda yadda* and we'll just hang around in the shop. You will find us by the crazed uncaffeinated looks on our faces.

Bah! I shot back a reply saying Yeah. Riiiight. Ya'll wouldn't even wait on Jesus for coffee. ;Þ

I felt bad about it, but turned out I was entirely correct!

See, I had this plan. I was going to get there before either one of them ol' gals! ha!

I actually got woke up when Tommy took Corey to work and couldn't get back to sleep. So I picked out some clothes, did a load of laundry, did my hair and make up and tidied up the bathroom. Then I gathered up the latest sale paper from K - M@r+ and my newest copy of Di@betes Self M@n@gement and headed over to the CB.

I parked right up in front of the store and sat in the car for awhile, looking over the sale paper, tearing out items I wanted to look for later.

Finally, about 20 minutes til meeting time, I went inside, got a table and told the hostess there would be two more ladies joining me in about a half-hour or so. I DID order coffee and began reading an article. It was pretty interesting, so I dug out a red pen and underlined some things I wanted to show Tommy and my mom.

I looked at the clock once 8:57, then again 9:09. I just knew I would be able to hear D's laughter which is very distinctive if they got seated elsewhere. Check the clock again 9:16. What the heck?!?! I knew they weren't running that late. Not both of them! So I proceeded to look around.

Nope. They weren't in the section where I was sitting. Then I peeked through the lattice I was sitting against, and there they were. Laughin' and talkin' and drinking coffee!!

Ah-HA! I KNEW it! I picked up my stuff and walked from the back of the store toward them.

It was then I was treated to an awesome sight. Both their mouths dropped open and they were totally speechless.

Amazing. LOL!

So anyhow, after explaining how long I'd been there, why they couldn't know I was there because I was driving Corey's car which they'd never seen and how I was SO right about them and the coffee, they picked their jaws up off the floor.

We had a good time. I don't know whether D took my comments about not feeling better to talk with people who had more problems than me, but she didn't mention her son. In a way, I hate that she possibly didn't feel free to talk about it....BUT I know that wailing about him and his sorry choices and his ill treatment of her doesn't do ANYone any good while her interaction with him remains the same.

They presented me with a coupon for tanning services at some kinda tan-o-rama I'd never heard of. K says it's "da bomb" and has like 17 different beds and/or booths! D had bought me some yummy-smelling accelerant, so I guess next chance I get I'll head over there and check it out.

I have to say, I was torn between disappointment and relief over not getting candles from them OR a sneaky rendition of Happy Birthday to You sung by whatever staff were on hand that morning.

ROFLOL!

After breakfast, I got hold of Tommy and Casey. They were in town and wanted to meet me at another restaurant for lunch! Gah! Yeah. We had just sat in the CB for over 2 hours. Which is about average for us, by the way.

Obviously, I wasn't hungry and besides that, I'd had a butter accident at the CB and ruined my shirt. Why don't they teach people not to allow the butter ball to make a pool that fills with melted butter and then sloshes all out 'n on you when you attempt to smear your french toast?!

So, I came home and changed then headed back to town. I told them to go ahead and have lunch and then come over to the K-place where I'd be shoppin'.

When they got there, the trouble started. Tommy wanted to buy himself some shoes but not til AFTER we were pretty much done shopping. That means DONE FOR, as in Casey and I, we had achin' feet!

But no. Tommy is Mr. NitPicky when it comes to doing something like picking out shoes or clothes which is why I never take him shopping and since he's so hard to please if I bring clothes home, he usually doesn't have much of quality to wear.

Oh, the headache was well under way by the time he'd finally settled on some shoes...

Posted by subject G~ at 02:23 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

This CAIN'T be good.

My husband has a computer. Of his own. At work.

He can't even turn mine on without hollering at me at least twice.

Obviously, the people over there don't know who they're dealing with! Mr. CompuHandicap!

Last night, he called to say he was staying at the office (HIS office...inside the breakroom...at the shop *grin*) to play around with the computer some. When Corey told him we had pork chops for supper, he suddenly didn't have to fiddle with it anymore.

LOL!

But tonight? Well, I was in the process of tracking down nasty scammer people and hadn't got supper started, so when he called with the same message again, I told him it'd be at least an hour til supper.

That was all well and good....til he called me. Wanting to ask me computer questions.

Now, it's not that I minded helping him. But he spent the first 45 minutes asking me stuff about how to change the color scheme and background! It was all I could do to keep from alternately screaming and laughing my head off.

IT WAS SOOOOOOO FUNNY!

...until we were STILL on the phone almost 2 hours later.

By then I was getting pretty tired and a little cranky.

I guess Corey could hear the fatigue in my voice so he walked into the bedroom and picked up the extension. From there, I just said, "It's after 9pm. Supper's ready. I'm hungry. We're eating. G'bye."

Tommy finally walked in the door a little after 9:30pm (no we didn't eat without him) and his first statement was Time just flies when you're on the computer!

*blink, blink* He DIDN'T just say that, did he? Not after getting gripey at me about taking "too long" on the computer? A MILLION TIMES!! And when I'm actually doing stuff?????

'Nuff said.

Posted by subject G~ at 11:32 PM | Permalink | Comments (6) | TrackBacks (0)

Well, Tommy made it through the day. He's so tired. I just wish he could take some time off, but no such thing.

They ended up putting the liar chief guy off work without pay for a week, but after that he will apparently be coming back to his same position.

I just think that's going to blow up in Super's face. I can't imagine what he's thinking. Not that I want the guy fired no matter what, but I do think he should be demoted. Anyone who lies on a regular basis as much as this guy isn't going to just stop. At least I can't think so. Maybe I'm wrong, but....

Anyhow, tomorrow Tommy will have to call a meeting with the whole crew...about 12 men in all, including two other crew leaders (he 'splained to me tonight that they're leaders, not chiefs---well 'suuuuse me!) and tell them what has been going on, why the guy is off work and how things are going to be changing.

I've mentioned what a bunch of whinebags, crybabies and gossipmongers this bunch is. Well, the Super told Tommy that it's his job to put a stop to that stuff.

Hmph! Well I guess the man has a point! And it might be just what Tommy needs to start taking a bit firmer stance with this bunch. They've had a milquetoast guy in Tommy's position for years. That guy would have rather just let crud go than address it, so now there's just crap going on everywhere and guess who gets to clean it up?

*sigh* Tommy is the most likable guy you'd ever meet. He's never met a stranger and he makes "friends" wherever he goes. At least they appear to be friends.

And that's where Tommy gets into trouble. He's become instant buds with more people than I can count. I don't know how many times he's brought a guy home with him...welcomed him right into his inner santum without so much as finding out anything much past his name!

That drives me nuts!!

On the other hand, Tommy thinks, or rather 'has thought' that I never had any friends because I was too judgemental and that I just left off from friendships when things came up that I didn't agree with.

He's actually said that to me.

*sheesh!* It may be true that people don't flock to me the way they do to him, but I've not been used, abused and taken for granted the way he has either.

It never fails when he gets a new pal that soon he wants Tommy to fix something...and he'll come help Tommy do X project...and it never happens. The guy's got a thoroughly refurbished whatever and Tommy ends up with even more things to fix at home and not a soul to help him with the heavy stuff.

It's happened over and over.

I'd rather err on the side of caution, thank you very much.

So...anyhow, this all came to light, or rather came out in the open Saturday night when he and I were going over our Sunday School marriage study. There was a questionare to fill in about ourselves and when it came to the question about friends, he said No, I don't have close friends at all. I hated to see his sadness at realizing that. Just before I'd answered my question by saying that I didn't have a whole lot of friends maybe, but the few I had were good.

Not that they're necessarily always there for me, but none of them have repeatedly tried to use me either.

*sigh*

Anyhow, I got off my subject...I asked Tommy when he first got home how the whole day went dealing with the liar guy and he was like I don't wanna talk about it! So, I said fine, whatever and we went to soccer practice.

There were only two kids on our team there, so Corey, Tommy and Coach just played soccer with them! As tired as he was, it was good for him to just get out there and romp, run and play.

Even if he was way winded in no time at all! It was a good escape.

When we got home, we ordered a pizza and Corey showed him some stuff he'd found online for his car, then Tommy started telling about what had happened.

After he'd talked it out, he started dozing off right there on the couch, so I made him get up and get himself to bed. I can hear him snoring from the other room...over the hum of the computer and the dryer!!

He always snores loud enough to rattle pictures off the wall when he's stressed. :( I think I'll have to go sleep in Casey's room if I'm going to get any rest!! That or find some earplugs! Gah!

Tomorrow, Lord willing, I can get Casey back on track with school work! That is a MUST DO!

Have a good night, ya'll....

~hugs~

Posted by subject G~ at 10:26 PM | Permalink | Comments (6) | TrackBacks (0)

*siigh*

Last night, Tommy came in and sat down in the living room. First time he's done that in weeks and weeks.

But it didn't last long. :( The pager went off about 10p.m. Turned out it wasn't his company's problem, but it was at some apartments that he does all the repairs for...and the super had called him about 2 weeks ago needing some work done.

Thankfully, last night's problem was not the same thing the super had called about, but GAH! It was a pure mess.

He returned home about midnight covered in mud from the waist down and soaked to the skin from there up. Poor guy. I just ache for him when he has to work sooo hard and sooo long.

Anyhow, he requested dry clothes and two cans of Coke. *sheesh*

Since I can't sleep very soundly when he's out at night, I stayed up fiddling on the computer and doing some important stuff I might share later...

Then Tommy came home again around 2a.m., again totally covered in mud. He had another guy with him who'd agreed to help with the job. I hurriedly put on a pot of coffee and rounded up yet another set of clothes, filled two travel mugs and a thermos and off they went again.

At this point, Tucker was literally begging me to go to bed. He won't go until I do. SERIOUSLY! So, I turned in.

I awoke to Tommy's cell phone ringing in the kitchen. He jumped up out of bed all frazzled and dazed and said, "Oh no! I've got to get to work!"

He'd had exactly two hours of sleep. :(

So, I fixed him a hot cheese sandwich and stuck a fruit-n-grain bar in his shirt pocket, fixed him another mug and thermos of coffee and kissed him goodbye.

Lord knows we need the extra money, but I worry so much about Tommy's health. He's always been the type to just keep on and on and on when something like this happens. Or even with the Treps, he's spent all night working on those several times. He's just wired that way I guess. I can't function like that, though.

But he's not a spring chicken anymore and those all-nighters are getting harder and harder on him.

*sigh*

Posted by subject G~ at 09:23 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)