Society for the Preservation of My Sanity

i m-must do a m-me m-me, folks. that's all there is to it. sorry about the cryptic messages to get you here, but really...

claire made me do it! ;)

*ahem* okaaaay, not the cryptic stuff

so here i goes...

Here are the rules: Each player starts with 7 random facts/habits about themselves. People who are tagged need to write on their own blog about their seven things, as well as these rules. You need to choose 7 people to get tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they have been tagged and to read your blog!

1. i am a very indecisive person most of the time. i have trouble focusing on one task. that's mostly because i'm so scatterbrained, i usually have a ton of things that need to be finished...i can't concentrate on what i'm trying to do for seeing all the things around me that are undone. this drives me nuts and sometimes leads to a very ungood depressed episode fo rme.

2. my mother bases her whole opinion of you (or at least me) on how clean your house is and how well organized you are. at least most of the time she's that way. now i love my mom, don't get me wrong. she's the most loving, giving person you'll ever meet...but she can really make me a wreck when she's like worrying about what people will think. her mother never made a big deal about a super-clean house. they were poor and mom always felt like if she could clean what little she did have, then everything would be okay. so she cleans like... well, like rabidly! mom's always been very concerned that people think well of her and all of us. she gets embarrassed easily and over very trivial things. she's not like 'snobby' concerned, but worried someone will think we don't behave acceptably or dress acceptably, etc., etc., etc. all this kinda fussing is part of what made/makes me as nervous and such as i am, i believe. and there are other factors, too. i'm not playing the 'blame it all on the mother game' at all. this is just a fact about me.

3. for those who don't know (if there's anyone besides claire still reading here! lol!) i have had diabetes for 32 years. i'll be 40 in november. (you do the math. ;Þ ) most of my life. up until november 2, 2004, i was taking up to 7 insulin injections a day trying to keep my blood sugar under control.... and failing! that's when i got my insulin pump! i. love. my. pump! it has changed my life so much! not that it's perfect, but living with diabetes is sure a lot simpler, that's for sure and certain!! since march of last year, i've lost 30 pounds due to several different things...a] neuropathy/stress/nervous stomach causing me to be nauseated and not eat nearly as much for several months ... which lowered my insulin needs {more insulin = more food -- they must balance} and b] going on a migraine med which caused a lessening of the appetite, still losing more weight (which also lowers need for insulin {lower body weight=lower insulin needs} and c] basically what i just mentioned... the mere fact that i was losing weight, thus needing less insulin, was helping me lose weight! clear as mud? i hope not, but that's how i went from wearing a very tight size 14 jeans to a loose size 10. woo- and hoo! ;)

4. (man, this IS getting hard!) um... i love flowers and backyard birds and butterflies. right now, i don't have much of either because i haven't had the time nor money to spend on getting a nice area ready. i don't even have seed in the feeders, that's how awful i am. :( i have a couple of red knock-out rosebushes. one mom just got me this year, so it's blooming. the other she gave me last year. the bad cold snap got it, so it's had to grow back out again. i put out a couple of hydrangeas, but they look awful. should they do that after setting them out?? *worried face* my dream is to have a wonderful flower garden complete with a pond and small waterfall and no deer skull looking at you from the wall of the fort and no dog pen right in your face when you sit on the patio and no pile of car parts or big ol' trucks looking at you like a creepy monster either. just flowers and water and birds and butterflies. that's a l l ! ! ! hmph!

5. um... oh, here's another boring medical one. i have cataracts. yep. at 39. pardon my french, but .... they suck! diabetics tend to get cataracts earlier than usual annnnd they tend to not do very well with the cataract surgery (because they don't heal well) so i dunno what will happen in the future. of course mine aren't that bad right now. but they sure have put a damper on my reading. i absolutely cannot read a thing unless it's really giant print without my +1.25 drugstore readers. yep, i know those aren't even that strong, but i can hardly read a thing without 'em. urgh!

6. we had revival at our church last week. i know. usually people will say, "we had a revival at our church" which i guess basically means the same thing. and i'm not picking at anyone out there, i'm just generalizing here, okay? i guess when you say "a revival" it kinda sounds like something you take outta a box, ya know? anyhow... even if we did say "a revival" our church and community was revived. Dr. Stan Frye was the 'evangelist'. it's in quotes because he's not actually an evenagelist. he's a missionary. he's been pastor of some giant churches, some that started out tiny...and for years, he's been going over to africa on these trips. not your average mission trip. he went to places that mission boards weren't sending people. you can read more about it on the website. but the man is fascinating. i don't think i've ever met anyone so on fire and literally anguished for lost souls. he was in a wreck over there at the very beginning of setting up this missions organization, when there really was no one to contact, etc.... and his best friend died in his arms. he told the story to us and it was traumatic to me just to hear him tell it through his tears. he preached without fluff, without apology and without caring whether he was going to hurt your feelings. he told you what you needed to hear. that i'm not doing enough for God. that i'm not focused on what's really important and one day, i'm going to have to answer for that. that i need to put the Lord first in my life and let the rest of it fall into place (and it will). he really "socked it to me". and i really needed that.

7. and in that spirit, i'm going to tell you some of the things the Lord has done for me. first off, he saved my soul from eternal damnation. that's probably not popular to say, but it's the truth. i was eight when i went up after the preacher's daughter came back to where i was crying (everyone else was!) and asked me if i wanted to be saved. (well, of course i did! i didn't quite understand what that was at the time, though) i went on and got baptised and thought i was all okay. really, i never gave it much more thought, being a snot-nosed kid and all. but during an evening service one night when i was 11, i felt something. i didn't know what it was, though. when i went to bed that night, i couldn't sleep. i tried and i tried, but i just couldn't. something the preacher said was making me wonder if i was really saved or not. i went crying downstairs to my parents' bedroom to get some help... for some reason neither mom or dad would wake up fully (unusual) and so i had to go pray it out myself until i felt this gigantic weight lift off me.
the next morning (at that time, we did saturday night & sunday morning services) i went up during invitation. i guess they misunderstood me again because they treated like a rededication and at the time, i didn't know for sure if that was what it was or not. but now, i believe that's the night i got saved. not when i was eight.
*heh* how's that for confusing? :)
God kept me safe through my school years. being a kid with diabetes was probably a lot more dangerous back then than it is now. we didn't carry meters to school because they were too expensive! my blood sugar probably stayed way too high most of the time! but i never had any bad complications til after i had both my kids.
speaking of kids... if you can believe it, i occasionally still get the "i didn't know diabetics could have kids" remark. even in the 'twenty-aughts"! lol! God gave me two healthy, cuddly baby boys who've grown into two healthy, handsome, intelligent young men. what a blessing!
He saw me through the horrible depression that followed having my thyroid gland completely destroyed when I was diagnosed with grave's disease. having your thyroid levels go from 5x above normal to zilch? um... not good! that was a dark time, but God helped me make it back to the light.
God pulled me through the nightmarish Stevens-Johnson syndrome. go. read. keeping in mind that before i was finally admitted to the hospital for my two week stay, i'd already been to the e.r. twice in the past 10 hours and sent home. *sigh* see how much the Lord's brought me through?
for some reason, He keeps me around down here. and what a poor example i am. *hangs head in shame*

this past week has rekindled my thirst for the Lord. it's brought our family to church when otherwise, we wouldn't have gone. it's put a desire in us to go at times when we haven't been. i just pray that we can stay close enough to The Fire that we don't let our flame die down.

okay...tag seven people? i'm not sure i even know seven people who still remember me anymore! *siiigh* lemme think a minute.... *think, think, thi...* OUCH! ahhh, okay. how's about marty of not to scale, k8 of two wild monkeys (if she ain't off havin' a baby already), michele of coffee soups, moni of tuff toenail (if she ain't off havin' a baby already), dia of diamonds in the rough, linda of linda's lunacy and osray of being there. ha! i did it!

now...let's see how many-a them do it! hmmmm.....

Posted by subject G~ at 02:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

everyone's okay here... if there's anyone out there still checking by this place.
*sheesh!* i can't believe i've gone this long without posting!

still no help with the wordpress problems. i'm thinking maybe i should just start using the different url and have a link back to here for archives or something. ?? i just dunno. and i dunno when i'll get time to do that anyhow.

we've been busy with all sorts of things. wish i had time to post the pix. maybe i'll just stick a slide show up later.

hmph. that was easier than i thought... enjoy:

here's what we've been doing in no particular order::

we took everything out of our attic in order to have aluminum insulation installed. my attic now looks like a spaceship and too much of the stuff that needs to go up there is still down here. GAH! that was over a month ago!

we got rid of a ton of stuff... tommy took off the entire week and we just worked our guts out. we went through both boys closets and got rid of a lot of stuff, too. most of it i'm putting on ebay, which is a totally new venture for me.

i'd only ever sold one or two items on there. now i'm listing 6 to 10 at a time and i feel like i'm doin' big bidniss! so far, it's been okay, but i had one international deal that was kinda difficult to get shipped, but it finally worked out. *whew* i just get nervous thinking i'm going to mess something up, etc. i worry about losing money if something doesn't sell, etc. it's a little stressful to me, but we've got tons of stuff that's never been worn and the extra money would sure be helpful. duh! ;)

tucker fell off a 20foot cliff onto rock about 2.5 weeks ago. scared me to death. he ended up with just a jammed front leg, amazingly. God must have been watching over that crazy dog. the vets couldn't believe he was even alive, let alone that he could walk and didn't break his leg! what a miracle. he's just barely limping at all now. :D

neuropathy in my feet started getting lots worse about a month ago. finally got so bad i could hardly walk on them. i was hoping there was a new med i could try.... and there was, but doc also upped my current med, neurontin, too. the other med is cymb@lt@. i hate taking new meds. hate taking so many meds. hate adding a new med w/o going off something else. *sigh* but it does seem to be helping. it's been a week today and i'm still not quite adjusted to it. but it sure has helped with the grogginess and seems to give me a little more energy. but then on the other hand, it or something else, makes me feels completely dead to the world at other times. *sheesh* can't win for losing. gah.

tommy and i spent this past wednesday and thursday at st. joseph hospital with his dad as he underwent a heart cath. he had an 80% blockage in the bottom of his heart which they cleared and then put in a stent. that man beats all i've ever seen, though. he was awake talking to the nurses and doctor the whole time. he never had to have one pain pill the entire time. he walked the whole way out of the hospital (it was a long way, too!) he came out just the same way he went in except for that plastic braclet!! lol!! he seems to be doing fine as long as we can keep him from messing around and blowing the plug out of that artery before its healed! we're just so thankful that God made all this so smooth and easy with no complications or pain. :D

so...the guys are all just working... corey's working on his car more and more. hope he gets that thing done soon. i get tired of him taking mine all the time! lol! it's a long way to moe-lissa's house! rofl! ;Þ casey is doing better about working on his lessons, thank the Lord! tommy is still not smoking and is dealing better with the stresses at work and of course THAT tickles me pink!

okay.. there. you got a blog anyhow! surprise! (not)

i really have to go now. my house is a disaster and has been for forever. i can't seem to make any headway with it and it's killing me. everyone's gone now, so i'm gonna see what i can accomplish all by my lonesome and hope my energy holds out!

love you guys!

since the comments don't work....EMAIL ME!!!

Posted by subject G~ at 10:29 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

got this in my email today (surrounded by tons of spam) and thought it was providential::

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
-- Mark Twain

that sounds like the answer to many of life's just plain stuuupit mistakes and ideas, doesn't it? i mean, to be born with the wisdom from years of living while your body grows younger and younger? woah.

sounds like da bomb, don't it?

but God didn't make us that way, so i assume that wasn't such a good idea after all. or perhaps, just maybe, that's what heaven will feel like. i dunno, but after this weekend and this whole month... well, i would be really tempted to swallow a dose of mr. twain's formula given the opportunity!

i can't believe it's been almost a whole stinkin' month since i posted anything!!! gah! now that is just plain sad! but in my defense... i have been REALLY busy.

here are a few pix to prove it....

i know. he's gorgeous.... gets that from me, of course. [*choke, sputter, hack*] okay, well... some of it at least. ;)

yes, it finally happened. one of our boys graduated from high school. as he put it in the speech he delivered during the ceremony... "I'm graduating not just from high school, but from homeschool... so this is my parents' graduation as much as it is mine..."

i was so pleased with how things went, barring a few peevish things i wish hadn't happened, but most everyone he'd invited showed up and all the well wishes and words of support and encouragement were such a blessing.

probably more so to us than to corey. as much as i've almost dreaded this [graduation - proof my baby boy is now a grown up, yadda, blah]... even though the kid's been done with his 'school work' since february... when it was actually happening... when i, with tommy beside me, handed corey his diploma, i was so proud my heart almost busted clean outta me. ;) all the years of crayons and standing at the copy machine making up 'school' stuff, all the field trips and spontaneous nature walks with best friends, all the times we worked together on wording a paper or speech "just right", all the ribbons won, the trophies awarded, the pictures in the newspaper... all those achievements were rolled up in those few seconds when that blank (ha, ha) piece of rolled up paper tied with silky blue ribbon passed from my hands to his.

i would be the one with the slitty eyes from crying. sheesh! case was our trusty camera man.

hawgface & moe-lissa
{inside joke... sorry you few cyberfoks who still even read here, *sniffle* but those who understand will.... um..... well... understand!!}

um, okay... as for the rest of my busyness... just the sheer task of cleaning this place up, including the making of room for the fitting of like 30 people in my house? um... let's just say that now? I CAN'T FIND ANNNYTHING!!!!

urgh!

so, casey has turned 14 while i was in recovery. lol.

who knew how much i'd miss those sparkling-eyed messy-faced smiles?

he has been impossible re: giving any clues/hints/ideas or otherwise about what he'd like to have or do for his special day. he's been pretty sick with bronchitis, so that does kinda dampen the whole celebratory mood. anyhow, his dad finally came up with an idea... so monday, i took case over to the archery shop near our house. and there i sat and stood, alternately of course, for like 2 hours! it wasn't all bad. the couple that run the place are a hoot and i got to watch casey in action, too. we got him some bow equipment and he bought himself some arrows, too, so i think overall, he had a good time.

and then! my mom and dad took him out for supper! tommy's parents gave him a card and some money when they were here for the graduation.

corey's birthday is next week. he says he just wants a cookout. lol. isn't it hilarious how kids can put "just" in front of anything? lol!! "i just want the moon." lol!

hey, at least he didn't ask for something out of the realm of possibility. thank God for that! ;) and shoot, we need to have a cookout.

just not sure if the weather's gonna cooperate. we were sleeping with the windows open just a couple nights ago and now? it's almost 40* lower than the highs have been for almost two weeks. bring it baaaack!!!

*ahem*

anyhow, other than sis's first wedding anniversary also coming up [and pray for me you guys... i have really, reeeally awful feelings toward her husband. lazy, critical of everyone around him, demeaning to my sister, rude and whiny. um, okay... i've said too much, so i'll quit. it's just getting really bad. i mean me! i don't like it when someone can just make me furious just by thinking of them, ya know? i know this is a challenge, a test or whatever you want to call it. but i need to overcome this, and i don't have a clue how. *blush* um... *awkward silence* er... i didn't mean to go into all that, but that just proves my point. just the mention of something concerning him makes me go off. (oh, and i reigned in big time here, ya'll) *sigh*

well, i have got to get off here. i still haven't got wordpress ready to go. i mean, yes, it's installed, but at a different url, and i don't want to change urls! what i want to do is move all this stuff into wordpress and then put all of it here. the very nice man named michael who helped with the installation said that once i got the data moved (is it importing or exporting? i have no idea!) into wordpress, he'd help me get it all moved over to this url.

heh. so that leaves me, with a bunch of other junk to do already and no time to work on this import/export stuff. *wah!!* anyhow... just wanted to update you on that, but please, PLEASE do EMAIL ME!!! cuz i LOVE hearing from you guys!!! (& a big hug to you fweeties who have emailed! THANKS!)

okay... gotta git.

love yas!!!
*smooch*

Posted by subject G~ at 03:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

-> in basically good health as far as the word "good" pertains to me. *heh*

-> wearing a bright pink t with tiny gold and silver studs that spell out Queen of Everything ... no one seems to take notice.

-> in the throes of planning corey's graduation ceremony. to be held at school. in the 'auditorium'. which means here. in the family room. *ha*

-> likely to die before it's all over.

-> a by-the-hair-of-my-chinny-chin-chin survivor of my mother trying to freak me completely out with wanting to move the graduation to summer, etc., change it to a cook out, etc., and completely take over the whole thing entirely etc. (which is why i hadn't told her about it!!) but since corey didn't want to wait that long for a graduation ceremony anyway and we're moving forward with the original plans (sort of!)....

-> expecting new carpet tomorrow... after going to pick it out totally spur-of-the-moment yesterday. ends up being for two rooms since the roll was off the warehouse floor and there'd be just enough for my bedroom after doing the living room and hallway (which look absolutely crappy!!!) the carpet is an imbursement given back for the assistance i have given and will, obviously give in future to the advancement of the enterprise overseen and manipulated by my parents. *ahem* how's that for vague and unintelligible??

-> mad at self because i've misplaced several important papers in the past few days. very angry. am hoping they'll turn up as we uncover from the mess made from laying of carpet. ??

-> excited about helping a used-to-be neighbor and long-time friend get familiar with homeschooling. her daughter is casey's age. i think both of them have wanted to try homeschooling for some time, but the mom works and the daughter made such good grades, they just never pursued it. but in the last year of middle school, the kids are meaner, the teachers have become unfair and the general atmosphere has become such that the daughter is downright unhappy. so much so she gets physically ill. :( anyhow... i've been trying to console/counsel/cheer them on in making this decision.

-> freaking out about sis's THIRTY SIXTH BIRTHDAY this sunday. *eyes bugging* how on earth did that happen?!?! of course, that means i'm like, waaaay old now, too. but to realize she's 36??? even though she's a grown woman all on her own and stuff... *sheesh* for some reason, that number is just freaking me!

-> like *blink, blink* because someone just called my cell phone asking for mamaw. /8^O what the heck?

-> the lucky contestant who's up for "hand tommy the tools" tonight. he got a call about three hours ago to do a job he's done probably three times in the past 12 years. *shrugs* eh, he saaaays it won't be too hard or too long and these people (car dealership) pay faaast... well, it'll be some much needed moolah around here. [addendum::: casey went to help since they cancelled emt cadet meeting a-g-a-i-n] so i got to sneak in a little nap!

-> sad to say this is all i have to tell you. or that is.. that's all i have time to tell you. i have so many thoughts i really need to 'flesh out'. stuff about mamaw and some of the things i've learned about since her death. things i wish i'd known or understood more about... and of course, my feelings about graduating my baby in a few weeks. *sheesh!* only a two days before his brother will turn 14 and then two weeks before he will have his own 18th birthday. where did my little boys go??? *sniffle*

-> glad i didn't forget to mention... basically the one viable option for a decent blog (ie: one with usable commenting!!) is to transfer everything from moveable type to another blog software. wordpress has been suggested by the hosting company. i know nothing about wordpress and obviously, just don't have time to research it right now. anyone who wants to give me a little insight on how well it does (or doesn't?) work, please email me!! {don't forget to change the doodads in the email address!}

thanks.

blessings to you!

Posted by subject G~ at 04:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

there's been a lot going on around here, but then again? not so much. *shrugs* what's a gal gonna do?

just live the best she can, i figger.

lessee....been drivin' that bronco. you'd be very surprised how nice that thing drives!! i hope it brings a good price at the auction. if it doesn't, we're not selling it! hmph!

got the explorer (it's shed the "exploder" title once again! lol!) fixed. turned out that six of the plugs and wires were basically burnt up!! gah! now it's amazing how great IT runs, too! *sheesh!* if only people would LISTEN to me when i say "this thing sounds funny... i think something's wrong with it..."

speaking of LISTENING... tommy got his hearing aids!!! YEHAWWWW!!! so far, it's been a real rollercoaster ride for him... and for the rest of us, too. he kinda goes from being amazed at what he can hear that he couldn't before and hasn't in a looong time to being frustrated at some of the annoyances that naturally come with these things.

but.... he is having some real trouble, too. he has some tmj issues. he got his jaw knocked out of place when he played football several decades ago... and ever since, (because, i assume/know he didn't get proper medical treatment) it pops when he opens his mouth a certain way... like to yawn, or sometimes when laughing or when he goes to bite into a giant burger or something. (although now, it does it almost anytime he chews) *lol* you get the idea. anyhow... you can feel how much movement there is down in his ear canal. thankfully, it's mostly on the right side, which is the side with the least problems.

so far they've shaved down that ear piece, but he's worn it so much assuming it would just "break in" that now it's too sore, so he has to go 24 hours without it. and he is having a lot of problems with the tubes getting moisture in them (happens a lot with people who work outside or are in any area where there's a lot of moisture in the air (like when steam cleaning equipment)... but he drove down today to get some special stuff to help with that.

*sigh* he's scheduled to come back for a recheck (and to also 'rework' the settings on his *ears*) in a couple of weeks. hopefully by then he'll have gotten a lot more used to them and will be ready for the new settings (for distant sounds, etc)

what else? well, i just got back a bit ago from another birthday club dinner. this time it was karen. 44!!! man... i think i'll have to be out of town this year when mine rolls around. after all the hard time i've given them over being soooo oooold well, they might try to make it hard on me this year. and i probably won't be in the mood for none of their nonsense! how immature! *pththt*

karen just got a new job in an office! no more driving a big ol' van picking up elderly and mentally/medicated people from group homes for transport to various places... from the grocery to hospitals to mental facilities to their homes out in the boonies in the dark! gah!

now... *whew* she has this cushy officey job. she's in and out a lot, but still she has this giant new desk and phone with its own extension and rolly chair and such. so diane and i got her a bunch of fancy desk stuff. she was wowed. ;)

i'm worn out!

before that i'd been to the chiro as my head had started hurting again. he had to "set" me four times before i got out of there!! first time, he didn't have me positioned right on the hard thingie where you lay your head. *gah* i usually tell him if it's right cuz i know when it hurts like the dickens, then it's right. but i figured maybe now it was supposed to be in a new place and i shouldn't boss him around so much.

so when i sat up and he felt for that nerve. *OUCH!* there it was. it didn't take. i told him then about how i'd kept my mouth shut about the position being wrong, etc. he told me to speak up! if we were gonna do this, we'd might as well do it right and since i knew where the 'sweet spot' was, then i needed to help him position me on it so the alignment would count!

me: well, i didn't wanna boss you too much
him: i'm used to it. i'm married! --- *then a sound of 'oops, did i say that out loud'*
me: fine then. i got it covered. that ain't right.

that man is such a hoot!

so this time, while he had me down there, finally in that horribly uncomfortable position, he clicks me with the magical machine. then, he says, let me put that back on there a bit snugger, just in case. i am notorious for popping outta alignment in mere minutes/hours after being 'set'.

then, shame on me, i forget my cervical collar to brace my neck.. but he puts me on the therapy table where you lay on your stomach with your face in a hole while electricity is pumped through specific points on your body for a certain number of minutes while smokin' hot heater thingies are laid over top the electric zappers.

while in there getting hooked up, i talk to my friend, jo, who's the receptionist, secretary, bookkeeper, physician assistant, therapy lady, x-ray developer and sometimes babysitter of doc's kids.. lol.... we hardly ever get to talk, so today while it was slow, we talked in the therapy room... me with my head not in the hole, but turned sideways.

i never thought about that being a bad thing til she left and i put my face in the hole and heard the big pop in my neck. oops. out again.

so, after the electro-burningfire timer went off, i told jo my neck was out again. doc came and checked me.

him: yep, it's out
me: see, i told you it was!
him: i HAVE to check. otherwise, why wear the white coat?

gah! fruit loop. so, he set me again. this time i barely moved my head at all! i drove STRAIGHT home, found my collar and strapped it on for about 2 hours before time to go pick up karen and go for dinner.

did i mention that i'm tired?

i am.

gonna go snuggle down with some blankets, a few pillows and watch monk and psych! ;)

have a great weekend, ya'll!

*smooch*

Posted by subject G~ at 08:29 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

engines, injins, moters, maters..... *GAH!*

*hmph* *roflol*

okay... um, tommy bought this bronco last week. for a couple hundred bucks. the guy thought the tranny was bad because there was fluid leaking. turned out the seal was just bad. sheesh! anyhow... the motor AND tranny work great and in fact the engine in the bronco is better than the one in tommy's pickup, so he began switching them out.

*GAH!*

i hate it when he does stuff like that!! he worked on it at his work in the shop. they're allowed to do things like that. well, actually, MOST of the guys do things like change oil, etc. NOT start interchanging parts with two or three vehicles. *SHEESH!*

anyhow, he's got the pickup engine into the bronco and it's runing fine. some idiot had towed the thing with a chain by the front axle and so that has a little curve in it and turning is like rough!! urgh! but it runs really good! he switched insurance over on it so he could get it licensed (and ready to sell -- he stands to make a good profit on it, THANK YOU, LORD!) but now looks like we'll need to drive it for a couple of days!

the engine in the exploder is missing! (thus the title!) i had to drive it in the awful SNOWY weather at like midnight on saturday. casey had gone with tommy to help set the engine in the bronco. (they have a chain lift, but it has to be lined up, etc... takes someone on top and underneath to get it set just right) of course, this and that went wrong and it took longer to get ready to set the engine, so it was that late before i could get casey.. actually, i hadn't gotten a call from them (nor had they come home!!) so i just loaded up and went by myself!

i hadn't driven in such weather in ... well, probably never!! there was probably only an inch and a half or two inches down (yeah, nothing compared to up north, i know!!!) but it was blowing and slick, nevertheless! it just doesn't get that way in kentucky anymore. :( and nobody will let me drive most of the time. *hmph*

anyhow... we live "up high" so i had to make the choice of which hill would be least slick AND which would be least likely to send me off in a ditch if it was really slick! some of those hills are daggone curvy! so i went down the one toward the train tracks, linda. no one had been down it, so i had some traction, but it was slick underneath there! i even made that 90○ turn at the bottom without wrecking. ha! anyhow.. i almost died when i saw that the parkway had only one lane, and "lane" is really stretching it. it was more like just a couple of hit-and-miss tire tracks, ya know? i'd never seen it like that before!! usually, once you get out of our little "sticks" road and hit the 'city' streets, it's like it never even snowed there. always clear and boring. lol!

it did really shock me, though. even the bypass was that way!!! the ramp was totally covered with snow and then back to those two sorta-there tire tracks. *shiver* but anyhow... i made it to the shop. i had to wait almost an hour because they still weren't quite finished setting it. case was tired and huffy. tommy was tired, but his usual 'buzzed' to be getting more done all the time. i don't know how he keeps going on those things. in all that grease and oil. (he was covered) *blech!*

after they got the bolts in to hold the engine, tommy asked if i'd go get some gas for the bronco. okay, yeah.

so, case and i drove across town. main street wasn't even totally cleared. *gasp* we got to the gas station, filled the can and put some more in the exploder, i got case a hot cocoa and tommy the coke he'd ordered and we headed back. that's when i noticed the shudder in the exploder getting worse.

it's had this shake/shudder when it's idling for awhile, but i've been poo-pooed and blown off about it. well, NOW they're not poo-pooing me. the thing is shaking like an earthquake on wheels!! can't figure out if it's a sensor or a plug, etc.. tommy looked at it last night but couldn't find any fried wires or plugs, so they left it in town to be scanned sometime today. *sigh* it wasn't showing any codes, which was odd. i'm just glad it didn't do like it did when it was having those tranny problems. ACK! =8^O

anyhows... i'm here, stranded -so to speak- with this big ol' old bronco to drive. i need to go get some scripts cuz i'm out and need to go hit the computer down at mom's again today.

it almost killed me yesterday... but that's another post.

ARGH!!!! = 8^S

gotta git busy. hope you're all having a great week!!

hugs....

Posted by subject G~ at 08:42 AM | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBacks (0)

must be because i ordered the cap & gown today. *sigh*

my baby is ready to graduate. *sniffle*

i got the tassel with '06 on it because if not for having taken off about 3.5 months to work full time with my dad while tommy's dad was in the hospital and home recovering.. well, he'd have already graduated.

he wanted traditional black (how boring are boys?!?! sheesh!) with a blue/silver tassel. at least i get a little color.

i have no idea what we're gonna do. it'll be a couple weeks before the duds are delivered, so i have a bit of time to come up with something or go crazy while not coming up with something.

more likely that last one. gah.

i'm not sure what's gonna happen with the little (and i mean tiny!) church we've been attending. meaning there just aren't very many people there. i suspect the cold weather doesn't help that a whole lot. neither does the fact that one family that sorta promoted the church in the beginning has now left and i'm not sure what might be going on in that situation.

i know one thing though, the little place that's rented now for the church belongs to that family. *a-heh* yeah. last i heard, though, they'd agreed to extend the lease til the end of this year. maybe, i said maaaybe another place can be found by then. *shrugs* i dunno.

but.... *sheesh* talk about your rabbit trails!... the pastor's wife just came outta the blue back around Christmastime and started talking about some sort of graduation party and how the church wanted to do something for corey's graduation, etc.

when i told her i couldn't speak for him as to a date he'd be "finished", and i still hadn't really come up with any definite plans for a celebration....

she kinda jumped in telling me "we" could do something at the church, but we'd wait til like may, "y'know, closer to normal graduation time.."

i musta made a funny face because she then pedalled backward with "not that you're not normal..." etc. *sigh*

anyhow... i didn't pull out my gigantic hat pin and bust her bubble right there and then, but we'll have his party whenever we get good and ready. "normal graduation time" or not. *gah*

i guess she may have been thinking more about being able to find graduation cards or gifts or something??? but you can get those at any time if you look around a little. *shaking head* i just don't know what all that was about, if anything!?

but never mind.... my baby has finally finished and i'm pretty stunned. not that he finished (shame on you!!) but that i'm at this mile marker! who put me over on the supertrain?? i didn't WANT to be on the supertrain!! *waaaahhhh!*

sheesh. so here i am with my whole life/brain/house/mind/house(repeat repetitively) all a mess and i need to figure out what to do for my picky/hard to figure out/choosy/fussy/nice/finicky/handsome son's first graduation!!

*blabadablabadabla* with the finger flapping of the lips as in craziness.

help me?

Posted by subject G~ at 11:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBacks (0)

• the last couple of times, i've seen the physician's assistant at the endo's office. her name's rebecca and she's cool.


• my A1c was 6.3% this time. up .03 from last time, which she was pleased with.


• i'd lost 6.5 pounds since the first of january. go, me! don't ask me how. dunno except stress & not eating much b/c of stress. i don't recommend this diet.


• she lowered my basal rates even more. (lowered them last time, remember?) so now i'm taking less than 20u total! total!! hard to believe when i first got on the pump in 11/04 i started w/over 60u per day! gah! no wonder i've dropped a few pounds! sheesh!


• my sugar's already been bouncing around a bit. it'll take a day or two to see if these rates will work, so i gotta just stick it out. the docs would rather me have a few highs (around 200) than so many lows (over 75% of my tests were below 80!)


• that's all she wrote. buh-bye!

Posted by subject G~ at 05:09 PM | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBacks (0)

eh. i dunno. i guess that's pretty much right.

unless i have a headache.

Posted by subject G~ at 05:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

Create your own Friend Quiz here

c'mon people. take the test. i'm reeeeaally curious. *hee hee*

~hugs~

Posted by subject G~ at 03:51 PM | Permalink | Comments (9) | TrackBacks (0)

...quietly and in a fair amount of peace. mom and dad were there to see her go. she called dad's name, took what would be her final breath and was gone.

i've never had a prayer answered so precisely and so quickly and it left me feeling shaken. all at once feeling horrible for having prayed such a thing but then.... trying to remember to show thanks for the expediant fulfilment of the prayer.

*sigh*

i know, when i can look logically at the situation, that this is better but then.... to realize that you literally just got off the floor from praying for God to "take someone on" and in a matter of minutes, you get a call telling you this 'someone' has taken a turn for the worse. their body has begun to shut down and the doctor says it is a matter of hours now.

*shudder*

i'm still very troubled by what's happened. but that's another post.

it looks like this will be a long, drawn-out thing as the funeral home had four other people brought in ahead of mamaw that same day... and we have a few people who won't be able to get here for a day or two.

in the meantime, there is the matter of music. dad is very picky about that and there just isn't anyone he knows who's still singing that he wants to sing. he asked me if i thought sis and i could sing with him.

*wha??* i told him maaaybe if i didn't have to see anyone's face... and better yet, if we could sing from the little "music room" beside the foyer out front so i couldn't hear anyone, either... and even then it would still depend on what song we sang. it's hard enough to sing at a stranger's funeral, let me tell you. but to sing at your own mamaw's?!? (even though we did do that for our other grandma--but that was different.. long story)

anyhow.. a buddy of tommy's has a recording studio soooo we could go record the songs and let them play through the speaker system and save ourselves all that emotional turmoil. i just hope this guy can be around to do the recording!

*siiigh*

so anyhow.... it's pretty much kinda like a dazed chaos here. dad and mom both seem to be doing okay. there are, of course, tons of calls to make and take, so they're staying busy. i know you can try and prepare yourself for this kinda thing and i know daddy's been doing that for a good year now. and he's always been a great stoic in times like these.

i just happened to call to check on things about 5 minutes after mamaw passed, and i heard the tears in daddy's voice. surprising really, considering how he is... but when i didn't say anything back immediately, he answered back with no trace of those tears and said, "now, geannie, she's in a better place. she's not hurting and she's happy. be happy for her and not sad."

to which i answered, with my tears held back, "okay, daddy. what do you need me to do?"

so... now i'm off to go find the answer to that.

blessings---

Posted by subject G~ at 09:24 AM | Permalink | Comments (7) | TrackBacks (0)

mamaw's in the hospital. nurse-cousin appeared to do her "swoop in and save the day" thing (which was good... she should have, cuz mom was just not able!) and got mamaw in to see her nephrologist (kidney doc). he was working out of his office in another county, closer to nurse-cousin's house, which is waaaay far from nursing home, but anyhow... she ended up calling me about this stuff because she couldn't reach my parents.

the night before, dad had taken both the boys on a job that turned out to be a nasty one that lasted til about 6am, so he had been sleeping with phones off and mom was running errands. guess nurse-cousin just lost their cell numbers. *sigh* anyhow, it was fine that she called me. kept mom from feeling as if n/c was somehow accusing mom or whatever. cuz that was the first thing out of mom's mouth... how she couldn't take mamaw to the doctor since she can't even get up by herself anymore and how she'd have to get 'blah-blah' (name of disabled transport company) to come get her and then she'd have a real fit, etc., etc.

anyhow, i calmed mom down because to me at least, n/c didn't sound that way at all. it may well have been a different story had she talked to mom, though. anyhow.... mamaw's blood tests were not coming back very good. and it looked like the doc would recommend her going to hospital.

unless she was practically dying and two docs agreed or whatever, my dad is the only one with legal authority to have mamaw put in hospital. n/c can't do that on her own.

i didn't think they'd do it last night, but they did. this morning, mom calls to ask if the boys can come help load up mamaw's recliner and tv, etc. so they can clear out her room at the nursing home. (it's in another county, remember?) the plan was to get her into the one here in town... where she's been on the waiting list for over three years!! mom had her put on it because she knew how hard it was to get someone in there!

and quite obviously so because after planning to clear out the current room, she finds out that it's slim to nil that a room will become available within the next four days (that's as long as m3dic@re will pay to hold the current room!) so... now we're back to leaving her stuff (except for going to get her "most stealable small stuff") for the four days, seeing how well she is doing in the hospital and then contemplating whether or not to let the room go and risk not being able to get a room here (or anywhere within a 5 county area!!!) or coughing up money to hold the room. *siiigh* that's what daddy had to do last time.

and we're pretty fed up with how this home is "taking care" of mamaw. waiting til a problem is "A PROBLEM" and then chasing their tails to try and fix it. ??? that's not good health care!!! gah!

anyhow.. at least if she was closer to home, we could keep a closer eye on her... we could reach out and smack a doc's head if he wasn't doing what he should be... we could keep a constant glare on the nurses, etc. so they'd know we were watching them. (nancze, if you're around... you know i'm not griping at you here... but i know you know this kinda stuff happens, too... and i think lotsa time it's the doc's fault too... the nurses and aides are terrified to make one move til doc says (red tape, anyone?) and most of the time he/she has so little an idea of the patient's actual condition, they let it go til it's really bad, etc. *sigh*)

gah... so we're in limbo and mom's in a terrible state worried to death that there'll be no other option than for her to take mamaw home and care for her. that would be an awful situation because
#1 - mom would so resent it. (long story there, but believe me, she has a right)
#2 - she'd kill herself trying to care for mamaw
#3 - mamaw would take advantage of mom
#4 - not one single relative would offer a helping hand (excluding me, i mean! -- i'm talking about all those who've sat around saying "call if you need anything, i'll be right here to help" yeah...riiiiight)
#5 - it would literally kill my mother. i've watched her almost wither away before while trying to tend to two other elderly relatives, again from dad's side of the family.. while not one other blood relative offered to see to them.
#6 - there would never be one word of thanks offered. that is, not unless a profound change took place. dad's relatives have never been given to thanking my mother for her selfless help in times of need.

i just don't think i could stand to see that happen. mom and dad, mom especially, have always tried to keep me out of the down-and-dirty of things like this... so i'm pretty clueless about some things and who did or didn't do what, etc.... but i do believe i know enough about what my mother HAS done for many, MANY of dad's relatives to be able to bawl out the rest of them for shamelessly wanting to dump mamaw on my mom. they've been encouraging her (mamaw) the whole time each time she'd start talking about how she could come home.... "why sure you would do better at home. phyllis could come and check on you during the day, etc., etc. and so forth" mindlessly volunteering my mom for care duty. when they have NO CLUE how much mom has on her plate and how little energy she has.

GAH!!!!!!

*sigh* sorry. i just get SO MAD when i think about this stuff. it's just endless. she (mom) told me yesterday that she had a nightmare. then she talked about something else for a minute, then she proceeded to tell me about this nightmare... seems in the nightmare, dad's brother had gone and pulled mamaw out of the home and while mom and dad sat completely unaware at their house, uncle backed up to their door and was "unloading" mamaw with all her stuff on their doorstep!!!!!

yes. now that was indeed a nightmare. and it told me exactly what her worst fear is. she is terrified of having to take care of mamaw.

i love my mamaw, don't get me wrong. but i know how she has treated my mother and for that, i have reserved the right to not like her so much. when my mom's oldest brother died, i was just a toddler... dad's brother's marriage was as usual, on the rocks and mamaw had his three kids.. the youngest was about 4 years older than me... they (mamaw & papaw) were in the middle of stripping tobacco at that time.... but mamaw told mom she couldn't watch me while mom went to be with her family. even though she had the other three right there in the barn with her and i was old enough to walk and had spent lots of days with the family in the barn just like that while mom helped work.... over and over... things like that hurt my mom and let her know how mamaw felt about her.

but who ended up being there whenever mamaw needed help? uncle's wife? um... no. they divorced and she's in georgia and the woman he married next was a pure loon. (she's now in and out of mental institutions and yes, they're still married) so my mother feels extremely used and unappreciated, but she'd never turn her back on anyone in a time of need. everyone just walks all over her.

i despise that.

*long weary sigh*

sorry... i didn't mean for this to be a long railing rant, but there you are. that's where i am today. worrying about my mother. instead, i must pray!!! pray for peace to settle in her mind. for the Lord to take all fear and anger from her spirit and give her a sense of peace... allow her to just trust in Him for whatever comes next. stop making up "what if's" and just build up her faith so that no matter what, she can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth her. :) (Phillipians 4:13)

same goes for me... i need peace and strength above all. the tension just starts knotting up inside me. for mamaw's sake, i hope she doesn't just linger on in pain. for all out sakes, really. that just isn't good for anyone. mamaw is already miserable because to begin with she WALKED into the er and after two weeks in hospital, she came out UNABLE to walk (negligence of doctor, imho!!!!) and now she is in this state. this woman who has always been mistaken for being a good 20-25 years younger than she really is... it's been very hard for her to go so quickly from quite able-bodied to this state of utter frailty. i can't imagine. well, yes, i can.... but you never ever want to. it's an ugly frightening thing to imagine. and yet, it is so.

please pray if you think of it. oh... also another prayer request that's a little more pressing... tommy has been made several offers on this 'new' truck of his. it's a really really good truck. the best one he's ever had, really. it runs good and all but like two things work (needs new wiper motor for delayed wipers) and something else.. minor stuff. anyhow... he's got about $800 in the thing... and it's worth way more... and he's been offered 2K. a very decent offer.

that's really great and he'd be jumping at it except that the money won't be 'free'... we need to pay property taxes and catch up a couple of other bills with it. we could probably leave about $800 of it for him to use to get another truck... but as for finding another sweetheart of a truck like this one? it's not very likely. but we really need the money... but we have another car to drive if the explorer were to go down or something....

but it's a great truck.... but we really need the money.

see? tommy's going nuts about it. i told him i sure didn't know what to do. this truck is an automatic, which means even i can drive it! *woo!* most he finds are manuals.... *sigh* i told him maybe this is where faith comes in. his dilemma is not knowing. he wants to KNOW what the Lord wants him to do. how can we ever KNOW that for certain til we actually do something? or are we realllly supposed to know for certain before we actually DO something??? *sigh* it's hard. but he needs to make a decision today.

TODAY.

please pray for a clear direction on this. it would be muchly appreciated.

thank you all sooooo much!

better entry soon, i promise. gotta run.

love ya!

Posted by subject G~ at 01:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBacks (0)

mamaw's in the hospital. nurse-cousin appeared to do her "swoop in and save the day" thing (which was good... she should have, cuz mom was just not able!) and got mamaw in to see her nephrologist (kidney doc). he was working out of his office in another county, closer to nurse-cousin's house, which is waaaay far from nursing home, but anyhow... she ended up calling me about this stuff because she couldn't reach my parents.

the night before, dad had taken both the boys on a job that turned out to be a nasty one that lasted til about 6am, so he had been sleeping with phones off and mom was running errands. guess nurse-cousin just lost their cell numbers. *sigh* anyhow, it was fine that she called me. kept mom from feeling as if n/c was somehow accusing mom or whatever. cuz that was the first thing out of mom's mouth... how she couldn't take mamaw to the doctor since she can't even get up by herself anymore and how she'd have to get 'blah-blah' (name of disabled transport company) to come get her and then she'd have a real fit, etc., etc.

anyhow, i calmed mom down because to me at least, n/c didn't sound that way at all. it may well have been a different story had she talked to mom, though. anyhow.... mamaw's blood tests were not coming back very good. and it looked like the doc would recommend her going to hospital.

unless she was practically dying and two docs agreed or whatever, my dad is the only one with legal authority to have mamaw put in hospital. n/c can't do that on her own.

i didn't think they'd do it last night, but they did. this morning, mom calls to ask if the boys can come help load up mamaw's recliner and tv, etc. so they can clear out her room at the nursing home. (it's in another county, remember?) the plan was to get her into the one here in town... where she's been on the waiting list for over three years!! mom had her put on it because she knew how hard it was to get someone in there!

and quite obviously so because after planning to clear out the current room, she finds out that it's slim to nil that a room will become available within the next four days (that's as long as m3dic@re will pay to hold the current room!) so... now we're back to leaving her stuff (except for going to get her "most stealable small stuff") for the four days, seeing how well she is doing in the hospital and then contemplating whether or not to let the room go and risk not being able to get a room here (or anywhere within a 5 county area!!!) or coughing up money to hold the room. *siiigh* that's what daddy had to do last time.

and we're pretty fed up with how this home is "taking care" of mamaw. waiting til a problem is "A PROBLEM" and then chasing their tails to try and fix it. ??? that's not good health care!!! gah!

anyhow.. at least if she was closer to home, we could keep a closer eye on her... we could reach out and smack a doc's head if he wasn't doing what he should be... we could keep a constant glare on the nurses, etc. so they'd know we were watching them. (nancze, if you're around... you know i'm not griping at you here... but i know you know this kinda stuff happens, too... and i think lotsa time it's the doc's fault too... the nurses and aides are terrified to make one move til doc says (red tape, anyone?) and most of the time he/she has so little an idea of the patient's actual condition, they let it go til it's really bad, etc. *sigh*)

gah... so we're in limbo and mom's in a terrible state worried to death that there'll be no other option than for her to take mamaw home and care for her. that would be an awful situation because
#1 - mom would so resent it. (long story there, but believe me, she has a right)
#2 - she'd kill herself trying to care for mamaw
#3 - mamaw would take advantage of mom
#4 - not one single relative would offer a helping hand (excluding me, i mean! -- i'm talking about all those who've sat around saying "call if you need anything, i'll be right here to help" yeah...riiiiight)
#5 - it would literally kill my mother. i've watched her almost wither away before while trying to tend to two other elderly relatives, again from dad's side of the family.. while not one other blood relative offered to see to them.
#6 - there would never be one word of thanks offered. that is, not unless a profound change took place. dad's relatives have never been given to thanking my mother for her selfless help in times of need.

i just don't think i could stand to see that happen. mom and dad, mom especially, have always tried to keep me out of the down-and-dirty of things like this... so i'm pretty clueless about some things and who did or didn't do what, etc.... but i do believe i know enough about what my mother HAS done for many, MANY of dad's relatives to be able to bawl out the rest of them for shamelessly wanting to dump mamaw on my mom. they've been encouraging her (mamaw) the whole time each time she'd start talking about how she could come home.... "why sure you would do better at home. phyllis could come and check on you during the day, etc., etc. and so forth" mindlessly volunteering my mom for care duty. when they have NO CLUE how much mom has on her plate and how little energy she has.

GAH!!!!!!

*sigh* sorry. i just get SO MAD when i think about this stuff. it's just endless. she (mom) told me yesterday that she had a nightmare. then she talked about something else for a minute, then she proceeded to tell me about this nightmare... seems in the nightmare, dad's brother had gone and pulled mamaw out of the home and while mom and dad sat completely unaware at their house, uncle backed up to their door and was "unloading" mamaw with all her stuff on their doorstep!!!!!

yes. now that was indeed a nightmare. and it told me exactly what her worst fear is. she is terrified of having to take care of mamaw.

i love my mamaw, don't get me wrong. but i know how she has treated my mother and for that, i have reserved the right to not like her so much. when my mom's oldest brother died, i was just a toddler... dad's brother's marriage was as usual, on the rocks and mamaw had his three kids.. the youngest was about 4 years older than me... they (mamaw & papaw) were in the middle of stripping tobacco at that time.... but mamaw told mom she couldn't watch me while mom went to be with her family. even though she had the other three right there in the barn with her and i was old enough to walk and had spent lots of days with the family in the barn just like that while mom helped work.... over and over... things like that hurt my mom and let her know how mamaw felt about her.

but who ended up being there whenever mamaw needed help? uncle's wife? um... no. they divorced and she's in georgia and the woman he married next was a pure loon. (she's now in and out of mental institutions and yes, they're still married) so my mother feels extremely used and unappreciated, but she'd never turn her back on anyone in a time of need. everyone just walks all over her.

i despise that.

*long weary sigh*

sorry... i didn't mean for this to be a long railing rant, but there you are. that's where i am today. worrying about my mother. instead, i must pray!!! pray for peace to settle in her mind. for the Lord to take all fear and anger from her spirit and give her a sense of peace... allow her to just trust in Him for whatever comes next. stop making up "what if's" and just build up her faith so that no matter what, she can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth her. :) (Phillipians 4:13)

same goes for me... i need peace and strength above all. the tension just starts knotting up inside me. for mamaw's sake, i hope she doesn't just linger on in pain. for all out sakes, really. that just isn't good for anyone. mamaw is already miserable because to begin with she WALKED into the er and after two weeks in hospital, she came out UNABLE to walk (negligence of doctor, imho!!!!) and now she is in this state. this woman who has always been mistaken for being a good 20-25 years younger than she really is... it's been very hard for her to go so quickly from quite able-bodied to this state of utter frailty. i can't imagine. well, yes, i can.... but you never ever want to. it's an ugly frightening thing to imagine. and yet, it is so.

please pray if you think of it. oh... also another prayer request that's a little more pressing... tommy has been made several offers on this 'new' truck of his. it's a really really good truck. the best one he's ever had, really. it runs good and all but like two things work (needs new wiper motor for delayed wipers) and something else.. minor stuff. anyhow... he's got about $800 in the thing... and it's worth way more... and he's been offered 2K. a very decent offer.

that's really great and he'd be jumping at it except that the money won't be 'free'... we need to pay property taxes and catch up a couple of other bills with it. we could probably leave about $800 of it for him to use to get another truck... but as for finding another sweetheart of a truck like this one? it's not very likely. but we really need the money... but we have another car to drive if the explorer were to go down or something....

but it's a great truck.... but we really need the money.

see? tommy's going nuts about it. i told him i sure didn't know what to do. this truck is an automatic, which means even i can drive it! *woo!* most he finds are manuals.... *sigh* i told him maybe this is where faith comes in. his dilemma is not knowing. he wants to KNOW what the Lord wants him to do. how can we ever KNOW that for certain til we actually do something? or are we realllly supposed to know for certain before we actually DO something??? *sigh* it's hard. but he needs to make a decision today.

TODAY.

please pray for a clear direction on this. it would be muchly appreciated.

thank you all sooooo much!

better entry soon, i promise. gotta run.

love ya!

Posted by subject G~ at 01:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBacks (0)

welp, i had a right good start on one of those "year in review" posts last night. i left it when tommy made noises of interest in watching the men's dvd from no greater joy, so i immediately ran to put it in the player and turn in on, etc... (um.. he doesn't know how lol!) and the first time, i came back to my work on my post because i thought maybe he didn't want me in there while he was getting a brow beating. *heh*

later, i heard snoring and shortly thereafter, tommy called out for me to come into the living room, so i went in there again and sat with him. i realized that there were women sitting in on the message on the recording (it was sorta like a seminar/teaching session in a church) so i stayed.

poor tommy *siiiiiigh* kept dozing off and he was trying so hard (for awhile) to stay awake... i finally just gave up on him and turned it off and went back to save the post... and i find that someone had used my computer, nay my WINDOW, and had used it to surf to other pages thereby zapping all my work into cyber dust.

i was so irritated... *sigh*... but i held my tongue and just let it go. thus the title.

whatever.

it's all rainy around here. temps are so-called "mild", but i seem to be cold most of the time. urgh.

sis came to me the other day saying she "had a bone to pick" with me. huh? she said the pastor's wife had come up to her (that's kinda the way she does.. she just comes up and gets in your space, y'know? *heh*) and asked how she was doing... sis: "uh... okay..." pw: "well geannie told me you were having some female problems..." !?!?!?!????? wha??! good grief!

i thought and i thought about when and what i'd talked to and said to her... it's not like we ever just sat down and had a long conversation. most of our 'conversing' was in passing... short exchanges before or after church services or in between trying to tame their kid when they come over here. *ack!!* the ONLY thing i can think that i MIGHT have said (but i swear, i don't remember saying anything... i just can't positively swear that i didn't... *sigh*) was maybe i mentioned that i thought her birth control pills were interfering with her seizure meds.

now you tell me H-O-W does that translate into F-E-M-A-L-E PROBLEMS?!?!??!?!

good grief. that kinda thing just bugs me. i just hope it wasn't me who actually started the whole thing. *siiiiIIIIiiiigh*

okay, so i'm trying not to go off the deep end over this kinda thing. and man, what effffort it takes!! it just really bothers me when it involves someone besides me and the person i feel is skewing what was said. or...

whatever. i am striving to no longer be a person who blows up [throws a hissy; has a cow; flips her lid; goes nuts; sees red; comes unglued; etc., etc.]

boy howdy! am i getting convicted even as i write. now, really, i am not a p.r. rep. for the folks at ngj and them pearls... but i'm listening to the free downloads of mike's series of teaching on the book of romans. man. he doesn't beat around the bush. that's a forewarning to those who are heading over to get those downloads right now. and i encourage you to listen. even if you don't subscribe to the baptist beliefs, i guarantee you'll learn something you didn't know. i dare you to go listen. ;Þ or....

whatever. you can choose not to learn something new.

if nothing else, i'm playing this one for tommy asap. [everything from 00:00 to the end (of the series!) but specifically 19:49-21:40] right now, he's trying to get the brakes fixed. the plan was to simply "bleed" them, but they ended up getting locked and blah, blah, blah... that simple 15 minute job has turned out being a 4 hour job. yep. i thought he'd be right home, but he wasn't so...

whatever. i choose not to get upset.

okay, so... um, wanted to let ya'll know the changes to my basal settings have helped a lot with the crazy blood sugars. what a relief! *whew!*

i've had my share of migraines, but not any really horrible ones lately and so i'm thankful for that.

i'm finally starting to make some headway on this house!! finally! gah! it was getting really horrible!

the Christmas stuff is still out, but i have started gathering it up so that i can be ready to put it in the boxes once we get all the totes down from the attic. *blech*

i splurged and bought myself a cute little tart warmer thingie at the 'vendor mall' the other day. it's the perma-sorta flea market type-a place where my mom has her booth. there are a few really fancy booths in there. i've never had any tarts or such, but when i saw this cute burner with the exact colors of my kitchen with sunflowers even, i reasoned with myself that it was decoration and not just something to melt wax and smell nice.

whatever. *heh*

anyhow, the tart jiggies i got with it just weren't what i wanted. sweet temptation or something like that. *blah* way too floral and sweet. i didn't like that wafting around the kitchen. so i stopped by the mall again and found another booth with much larger tarts that were even a little cheaper. that i found yummy vanilla! noooow, i have a smooth, delicious smell that carries all the way into my living room without overpowering the kitchen where the burner sits.

i discovered something else in there. this awesome booth with tons of um.. i dunno exactly what to call it... it's like new england/colonial/primative decor. i know some one out there probably has a whole houseful of it, so tell me what you call it! PLEASE! i'm looking for MORE! lol!

this booth is so cheap. i suppose they get their stuff as overstock or something, but it's all brand new and in great shape. i bought a cute square stoneware jar with a rooster painted on it and a little glass candle holder inside. then i bought this set of wooden letters about 2.5 or 3" tall painted and scuffed up with weathered wires in them for hanging. they spell welcome (unless you hang them up wrong! lol!) today, i went back to get something i'd been dying to have... it was only $6, but it was just so perfect for an odd wall area of the kitchen. it's a small "fence plank" section with an adorable home and trees painted on it. curly wire wound with tiny florals serve as a hanger.

i just love it! i've decided that i will just get an item every so often as i get a few bucks here or there. (IF i get some bucks, that is! lol!) anyhow... i've just fallen in love with some of the stuff they have there and it's so affordable (probably straight from asia, i guess?... haven't seen any infamous stickers yet, tho) i figure i'll just start building a little treasury of decor... and um.. well, decor with it. LOL!

whatever.

okay... well, i've been the larger part of the afternoon writing this. between phone calls, laundry loads and supper cooking (yep, actually fixed supper... which is why no one was home. it never ever fails) so now the big boy is home. tommy and case are still working on that dadblasted truck. (biting of the tongue here)

they did at least come home and eat. gah. i have to go call tucker back in and check on the dryer. then i'll need to clean up the supper mess (meatball heros), unload and load the dishwasher.. then i'm hitting the hay.

or whatever.

;)

g'night!

Posted by subject G~ at 03:57 PM | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBacks (0)

okay, so finally a post-Christmas post. *heh*

well, i mean this is not my usual melancholy. this is different. this is serious and not a specific melancholy.

like our gentleman oscar slapping the mother-in-law title on me fresh after the engagement! *sheesh* man! i'm about to flip what with 40 staring me in my cataract-y, bifocal-needing, bleary, bloodshot, droopy eyeballs! don't be layin' mother-in-law on me too!

*heh* funny how we attach certain conotations to certain words? i have to admit that my first reaction to the word (words?.. hm...) mother-in-law is not one of peace and serenity. that's because, sadly, most of the interaction with my mother-in-law hasn't been that way.

let me quickly interject here that over the years, our relationship has gotten much MUCH better. and i know MILs i'd rather die than have as my own... so i have to be thankful for mine.... but we don't have a cozy relationship. but it is a good one. it's just that "title", for lack of a better term... it carries so many awful or silly or scary images, ya know? for me, it's an automatic reaction to just tense up when i hear it. so to be called that? how's that for weird? gah! i'm trying to think up another word....

as for all that melancholy stuff... well, this Christmas seemed especially hard. most all of you know my maternal grandmother died on Christmas morning of '02. it's hard to lose someone on a holiday like that. it always lingers over every preceeding celebration. even though we knew grandma wasn't going to last much longer, it was still a shock.

and then there is the way all plans for the day are disrupted. corey was just 13 and casey only 9 when grandma died. i remember they got a k'nex big ball tower. it had over 2,000 pieces! they were so excited and had just got it opened when i got the news from daddy about grandma. they knew what had happened and that i was leaving to go help with things because she was dead. i was gone for about 3 hours and had only come home because mom threatened me. she kept telling me basically that i was "too weak" to be there, etc. her words were "you will get too tired" and "you need to rest". actually...those are the same things grandma always said to mom whenever she came to take care of her at the nursing home.

*sigh*

so anyhow.... all those memories hang over my Christmases and i know they bring mommy down too. she's getting better with each passing year i think... but after the final gathering (breakfast at my house on Christmas morning) she starts looking vacant and sad and wants to leave for the cemetery. i'm glad that now, at least, she comes back looking more peaceful than used to.

this year, i thought i was going to end up at the hospital or in bed before all the gatherings were over. i really had some major pain going on with my back. after my MILs episode with her leg and having to help her get around, well, that put some real strain on my back. that was the 20th.

on the 21st, we tried to get some errands run and such. my back was bothering me a little, but nothing out of the ordinary. anyhow... my leg started hurting!!!!! i couldn't believe it, and i didn't dare tell any of them. weirder still, it started after a trip to the bathroom (a number one trip, okay?!) it was in the middle of my thigh and felt like a circulation thing except that it would shoot down my leg and around my hip to my back occasionally.

like i said, i tried to keep it to myself. after about an hour, the pain wore off. i figured it was just some fluke and forgot about it.

my sugars had been high that day, so i was drinking a lot of water so....well, you know... i had to make another trip and darnit if it didn't happen again!!!??? anyhow, this time it hurt worse & was very painful to walk. one of the guys asked what was up with me and i said, "i'm not telling" so then tommy thought aunt flo had descended upon me.

*sheesh!!!* after another trip to the toilet and trying to not put any weight on the right side and STILL ending up with even more excruciating pain, i finally had to tell. "my leg is hurting." at this point, i could barely walk.

corey suggested the heat pad, which was a huge relief and helped ease the pain sooner, but it was so much worse... it took about 3 hours before it was really better.

i was getting really worried and kinda mad thinking what the heck am i gonna do? it won't do much good to go to my GP as he's really not much help except for the very basics and so who else do you go to??? but thank God it was better the next morning and didn't bother me again.

the 22nd, we busted rump around here trying to get everything ready for the BIG DAY (engagement/charades/freaky-me-out day!! woot) since i'd been either gone or unable to get around for a few days, things were NOT going according to The List. *sigh*

we just worked and worked... putting up stuff, cleaning, putting stuff up, cleaning, putting things away, cleaning and putting stuff where it belonged. *heh* by the end of the day, my back was feeling pretty raunchy. I was just thankful that my leg didn't hurt too!

so then decemeber 23rd. THE day arrived. the day corey had talked about for over a month now. and?? we still had a lot of stuff to do. my back was still bad, but i just kept at it. after all the little nit-picky stuff there always is to do, we barely h ad everything done and those pesky lindas... they arrived precisely on time (unlike the pathetic geannies, who are a l w a y s late no matter what!), so i didn't even have time to put on any makeup!! egads!!

anyhow, like usual, when you have other things going on, good company and exciting events happening, the pain is somehow easier to push aside and that's what i did that night. as described in this post, things went marvelously. i made it through all the festivities and only had a medium collapse after it was all over.

Christmas eve of course, we had church and thank God we all had clothes ready. i don't think i could've ironed one stroke that morning. tommy rubbed my back down with some freezone stuff and i hobbled to church. remember, the church we attend now is just starting up and uses padded folding chairs. you'd think they'd be comfy enough, but with an achy back? man, they're really tough on you! i am usually good til about halfway through the sermon, then i start having to move around to find a more comfortable position, etc.

anyhow, we had prepared ingredients for potato soup ahead of time and that had been slow-cooking while we were gone. the aroma was a pleasant welcome home! i got home to find that my sugar was high... a bit over 300...which meant i couldn't eat any potato soup til it went down. :*( what a bummer. but somehow it didn't knock the wind out of me like it might have in the past. we all sat in the living room, the guys eating soup and garlic bread and me downing my water like a good hyperglycemic diabetic, while watching the end of some Christmas movie.

after, we opened the blessing jar. tommy, who admittedly hadn't kept up with writing his paper every day, ended up reading most of them... and crying. the things the rest of us had written seemed to overwhelm him. i told the guys that for this year, i wanted to keep the jar for all year, not just the month of december. we'll see how that goes.

so then we prayed together, thanking God for all these blessings and the ones we couldn't even think of, etc... and for the gift of togetherness and of course, the gift of His Son. then we opened gifts. when the boys were little, i never dreamed that it'd get so much harder to buy for them the older they got, but SHEESH!! we got corey mostly just what he picked out and told me he wanted... an emt bls pocket quick guide (basic life saving), a muscle car calendar, a day runner, and his only surprises... mustang gt emblems for his car and a box of gourmet hot sauces! lol!

for casey, we got an emt rain jacket (official, no less!), a stethoscope and a leather badge holder (so he can wear his badge on his belt when not in uniform). he also got a hoodie and a christian tshirt he'd been wanting.

tommy got a new shaver since his old one was broken. and a new sweater, a heavyduty boggin and i forget... something else...oh! a kentucky afield dvd about deer. the boys got him deer hunting stuff, too.

me? well, i almost passed out over my gift. i got this!!! see? i told you i about died!! i knew they'd been talking about getting me a new flat panel display. i've been wanting one since forever!! my monitor's been getting stupid for quite awhile... just kinda going 'in spells'. anyhow... one day tommy comes home with this 17" flat screen monitor. (i'd been using our OLD old 15" since the goofy one was just messing with my eyes too much!) so where'd he get it?

a guy at work had found it on the side of the road with the trash. yep. i'm using it now and have been for the last 3 weeks. it has a few scratches, but seems to work fine except for the fact that the window content is a tiny bit skewed to one side and it can't be adjusted out. it's not enough to affect the use of the monitor. i was thrilled!

anyhow, in the weeks before Christmas, i'd been struggling MIGHTILY with printing some wallet-sized photos of corey and melissa to send with cards and letters (that i waited til the 23rd to send!) i'd also had a horrible time trying to print some gift photos for tommy's parents before that! ended up having to burn them to cd and take them to office depot to print!! gah! my printer just wouldn't #1 - print the right colors and #2 - print at the correct placement on the paper!!! GAH!

so the guys decided to get me this photo printer and it is da bomb!! i've printed a ton of photos. i took this one on Christmas morning when mamaw was with us:

oh, that's all of us... tommy with his parents in the back, my boys on either side, my parents on the right, my sis and her hubby in the back left and me and mamawin the center.

okay, so by Christmas morning? it took all my effort to walk to the shower. actually, tommy had to help me in there. again, he rubbed me down with the stinging freezone. i put on my best face and hobbled to the kitchen.

Christmas morning breakfast is sort of a new tradition. we started it to help take mom's mind off grandma's death. give her a reason to get out of the house and something else to think about for awhile. it was also a way to keep mamaw from insisting that we crowd into her little trailer. there's just so much more room up here. plus, it keeps tommy's parents from spending the day alone, too.

*sigh* it is always a tall order, but this year, just the way things worked out, it was monumental! i honestly didn't know if i'd make it. tommy's parents arrived first, as usual. i don't care that they come. i don't mind that at all, but i resent the way he behaves. see the photo up there and then this one below? it's like they have to prove what a tight family they are, etc. and they will all tend to act as if there's no one else around... for instance

<

when the three of them sat on the couch together here (that's tommy's head peepin' over mamaw's cotton-puffy hair there), fil pulled a box of photos from under the coffee table and he and mil, and then tommy started looking through them. mamaw, as you can see, is in the wheelchair at the end of the couch and corey, dad and i are sitting on the love seat at the other end... but when they were done with a batch of photos, they'd stick them back in the envelope and put them back in the box. *rolling eyes wearily*

that's just the kind of thing they do. after about a half hour of that kinda thing, with poor mamaw leaning over trying to get a peek i reached into the box for a package of pix. fil says in a kinda irritated voice, "no, she's [meaning mil]already looked at those!"

{just fyi::: you're reading nothing i haven't already talked to tommy about, so i'm sorry to bust yer bubble, but i'm not airing my dirty laundry. lol!}

and if you knew me in person, (linda? lol!) you'd be able to hear my response... "i don't care if she's looked at 'em. i'm takin' these to mamaw to look at!" then i think i added "silly" or some such before an uncomfortable tension settled in the room. even though... everyone else is used to that kinda behavior... from me AND them. *heh*

so anyhow, finally the rest of us got to look at pix from years gone by... the boys on camping trips, in diapers, with buddies, fishing trips, etc., etc.. what memories.

mamaw opened her gifts from us. i'd given her a decorated sweatshirt from cracker barrel. she seemed to like it. it's so hard to buy for her anymore, ya know?

i felt so bittersweet the whole time she was there. i talked with her about silly things and just recent events or what was going on with other family members and how things had been going for her at the home. but it wasn't until they were getting ready to leave that i had to tell her what i'd been thinking for such a long time...

i hadn't been to see mamaw in almost 2 months. seems like everytime i had planned to go, something would happen. either something with me, or the vehicle or someone/something else. but most of it was me. i just hadn't felt able to go. there was the viral outbreak that i didn't want to expose myself to... maybe i should have? then there's been all this crapola going on with my sugars.

it's been lots worse than i've told you. stuff going on almost daily sometimes. (more on this later, perhaps)

anyhow, i eased down to tell mamawhow bad i felt for not getting down there to see her more often. the tears came then. i told her i wanted to come so many times, but i just didn't have the energy, or i was just plain sick because of the lows. then she started to cry and kissed my forehead. that's uncommon for mamaw, but then she said she didn't want me to make a trip if it hurt me and that she loved me.

all the guys helped get her outside and off the porch. i buckled her into the car and we cried and talked some more.

i don't know how many more Christmases we'll have mamaw with us. i wonder if this was the last one? i was thankful that i got that group picture. i usually don't insist on doing that. but i'm starting now.

i thought about how much more at ease sis's hubby is with all of us. he actually talks to us now! seriously. it's a gigantic step compared to before! same goes for somebody else new to the family. *wink*

but bil really needs Jesus. i thought about how we're in all these different situations and we're always there to show Jesus to someone. it doesn't have to be a lost person. we Christians need to be reminded that Jesus lives in us, too. it's a little pick-me-up to see Jesus in our fellow man. it is a blessing to see it.

when everyone had gone after Christmas breakfast, the four of us just kinda spontaneously gathered around the island in the kitchen and said "it was all worth it" ahhhh. and even though i am still suffering with back pain, i agree.

who knows if we'll all be together like that ever again? who knows if you'll see that person at the store again? on the bus/train.. at that intersection? soon the 'daily grind' will take us over again and all the warm fuzzies of the season will slip away. make a commitment to remember... do a good deed. say a kind word. give a friendly wave or a smile.

showing Jesus isn't so hard. it's keeping the heart right that is the challenge.

i commit to trying harder to being a kinder person. to remembering that i have no promise of tomorrow. this may be my last breath...the last clack of my keyboard. Lord, help me to make it count for You.
in Jesus' name
--amen

i know this is scattered and choppy and just plain nuts, but thanks for reading.

God bless you!

Posted by subject G~ at 05:14 PM | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBacks (0)

so... continuing from my last post of any reasonable substance...

==nancy and her li'l puppy did come over that day. and whaddaya think happened?

the day went just fine. of course it would. *heh* never fails when i go all psycho-obssessive about something. i guess mainly i was worried because i had sooooo much to get done and was completely clueless about how it would go. but she just jumped in and worked her skinny fanny off and took that cutiepie puppy out every so often. so that other than tucker being totally opposed to the pup breathing his air, things went wonderfully and we had a great time together.

that'll learn me. *sheesh*

==we had a nice thanksgiving. mom and dad were here. dad got mamaw from the nursing home, so she was with us too. they didn't clear her to stay overnight, so she had to go back that afternoon and she seemed ready to go, even though she complained about the home, then in the same sentence told you some great thing about the place... *rolls eyes* now she's been in the hospital for going on three weeks. bronchitis and heart stuff that she usually has this time of year and she is getting better, but now there is a viral outbreak of some kind at the home and they are quarrantined, so mamaw is at the hospital til...??? i dunno how they can do that to people... i mean, dad's having to pay to keep her room since she's "left it vacant" for over the allotted 5 days, plus the hospital costs? good grief! how do they expect people to afford this kind of thing?!?!?

gah!

um, so... thanksgiving.. yeah. it went well. (excuse that aside) karen and two of her sons were here. i think all of them had a good time. mom and dad were worn out. mom especially. as usual, i think she just wore herself out trying to 'do' with making food and such. *sigh* and i think she was wound up about mamaw being here, too. all that emotional garbage, etc... :( anyhow... they went on back home after taking mamaw back, but karen and her guys stayed til supper time.

good thing because we needed more eaters to help with all that food!! ;)

==i'm loving my redone kitchen. even though there's been all this christmas stuff all over my computer/school/living room ever since the day after thanksgiving. corey just up and decided to get it all down and he put up the tree (which i then had to put lights on *bah!*) and helped decorate that, but the rest (i decorate the top of the entertainment cabinet, the coffee table, piano and mantle, etc) i just wasn't in the mood for it and couldn't seem to make anything look right. besides just hurting and being so tired.

i really was out of it for about two days after thanksgiving. but finally, and i mean like not til nooow i''m finally getting it all together and can get these boxes outta here and back up into the attic. *wheeew!*

==tommy worked the friday and saturday after thanksgiving. it was an opportunity to make a little extra money. he referred to it as "christmas money", but i knew better. we'd need it for bills! and that's what happened. still, even though i just hate it when he has to work so hard and spend his "time off" working, i was thankful to have the money to get some bills paid. and so was he.

==i had a bad low sugar episode recently. i'll save that for a seperate post. the whole experience shook me to my core. :(

==other exciting things are going on in our house, like the boys both being in a big newspaper article for their work through the emt cadet progam. they have helped make and serve thanksgiving dinner to residents in a low-income retirement home, and this article was to recognize when they went to decorate the same facility for christmas using items they'd gone around and gotten donated. it was a really good article with comments from all the cadets.

casey's starting basketball and that's always 'citin' for us all. games will start just after the first of the year. *woot* (where are my earplugs! [i can still hear with them in, believe me!]) ;)

other things are either under wraps or still up in the air... they might happen and might not... so i'll wait for an all-clear on those. *heh* we're real big-time around here. *roflol!!*

==other than that? we're just gearing up for lotsa christmas gatherings. some include me... some don't! *lol!*

the boys' emt christmas banquet is coming up and that's always fun. this year, the girl will be coming with, so all the more fun! ;)

we have christmas with inlaws week before christmas (when mil is off work *sigh)

then our own kicked-back christmas eve here at home.

then christmas with my parents? well, that's kinda up in the air according to mom. says it all depends on when they can get mamaw, etc. *shrugs* whatever. i think we'll just be doing light fare... finger foods and maybe country ham with homemade gravy and biscuits. you cain't beat that with a stick, folks. hoooo-weee! 8D

whenever and however it all goes down, it'll be okay.

==plans for our own christmas (which will be on christmas eve) is to pretty much kick back and do what we enjoy most. cook our favorite foods->potato soup!->peanut butter cookies!->aw... and a bunch of other stuff the boys ticked off faster than i could write on a list today... so we plan to um... eat, i think. *wide grin* we love to hang out in the kitchen (and how fun to do so in the cool redood one!) and cook together.

we'll watch 'a christmas story' since there's always a marathon on tbs. *lol!* hopefully, we can find 'it's a wonderful life' at least once and a good quality rendering of 'a christmas carol'.

anyhow... we've never been huge on any of our own family traditions. i guess that's been mostly because of how things just got all turned upside down when first my mom's side of the famiily got all ... well, true-colory i suppose, and the christmas gatherings stopped. then mom, my grandmother (yeah, that's what we called her) died on christmas morning 2001 and well, i think any chance of getting the familiy gatherings started again just died with her. there's a lot of other baggage, bad ugly nasty stuff there that ya'll don't wanna know, so it's not quite as simple as callin' everybody up and sayin' "c'mon over". but anyhow...

then there's dad's side... my grandpa died the year i got married... like two months afterward. i'd give almost anything in this world for him to have been able to know my boys. *sniffle* anyhow... as weird as those christmas get-togethers always were, well, you still miss 'em, ya know? weird? yeah...papaw always had to announce after dinner, as he walked into the living room to where the tree and gifts were as he rubbed his sandpapery hands together like a kid about to have a whole pie served to him... "let's see what santy brung" when i was a little kid, still believing in santa claus, i just thought he must be completely in the dark about how 'the man in red' operated. sheesh! *lol!!* later, it was just so funny to watch his expressions and his joy. to him, it was just time to be happy and tear up wrapping paper, ya know? it didn't much matter what was inside, it was the anticipation and the joy of the season.

*sigh* i miss my papaw soooooo much. *sob* anyhow... my dad has one brother, i've mentioned this before. they don't get along so well. these days, they tolerate each other. well, basically like always, it's just that now they have to be in closer proximity much more often and it's really hard on my dad. his brother who's 10 years older always did and still does treat him really bad and take pretty much any chance he can get to take verbal shots at my dad. i dunno what went on with them as kids, but whatever it was, it was way not good.

so my uncle has 3 kids, one of whom still lives here. her family and ours used to get together with mamaw after papaw passed away. her two kids got older and started going to boy- and girl-friend's houses for christmas and then the son died in the car crash just days before thanksgiving in 2002. we (meaning me and my mom) tried to take up any slack we could and help get them through the holidays by keeping the celebration out of mamaw's trailer (where we'd always crammed it in before) so i hosted that first year... then my mom did the next... then the next year they went to georgia where her mother and siblings live. the next year, again, they celebrated elsewhere with barely any word for mamaw about where she was supposed to go. this cousin of mine makes huge fusses over mamaw and big promises to her, but then leaves her in the cold. it makes all of us so furious. so anyhow. now they have their own little celebration and we have ours.

it used to be really depressing. now it only makes for a bit of melancholy. i mean, it's still sad that having such a lot of family on both sides, we don't get together with any of them. as it was back in the days when we did have christmases together, that would be the one time each year that we'd see most of them. otherwise, you didn't know jack about them unless (in some of their cases!) you read about it in *that* section of the newspaper, ya know? i didn't have cousins very close in age to me anyway, but add in all this see-ya-once-a-year thing and it made for major awkwardness. and it didn't get any better as we all got older and had kids. *sigh* corey was just a toddler when we stopped having big family christmases. i have to strain to remember them myself.

really pathetic!

however, i came up with a new tradition for our family. it's of course, quite late in the making, but the boys were both pretty excited about it so maybe this was perfect timing. ;) i cut up a bunch of thick wrapping paper into strips about an inch high and 4 inches wide. then, i got an old candle jar (sans candle wax; cleaned and dried) and hot-glued some ribbon on for decoration. all the strips i'd cut up, i put in a big decorative christmas box (thank the Lord i had something to put those suckers in!) so the idea is that everyone takes a strip of paper each day and writes down something they're thankful for, then rolls it up and puts it in the jar. (from the looks of things already, i think the jar will get too crowded before christmas eve!!) then when we settle down from cooking, eating, singing, movie watching and game playing to read the christmas story from the bible and open the very meager gift offerings there will be under the tree (which is still bear!) we'll get all those out and read all the things each other of us are thankful for.

so. there. : D

okay. i'm going to quit. i have had about two more posts started but seems it takes me longer and longer to make a post these days. (do NOT say it's cuz they're too long in between or i say too much! *pthththt* i am low on brain cells, ya'll! and interruptions, i got plenty. sometimes, it's just impossible to get one done. oh, and sometimes they're so controversial, they just fry my brain too. *heh*)

hope all of you are well, warm (i am freeeeeezzzzzzing!!!!) and healthy!!

blessings!

Posted by subject G~ at 10:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (6) | TrackBacks (0)

...afraid.

i knew something wasn't right. i could feel 'that' feeling in my head. but then again, sometimes 'that' feeling meant nothing more than i've gotten up too fast. *bah*

i'd come to town mainly to drop off a movie before it was late. it was already dark outside and i don't like driving after dark, let alone just being out in town by myself when it's dark. but casey didn't want to go with me.

i could understand that. if i was my kid, i wouldn't wanna go with me either. so after several times trying to beg and then bribe with food, i said okay, and left by myself. i'd checked my blood sugar and knew it was fine when i'd left the house. i'd been wanting to get the boys a new ornament this year, so i decided to stop in hallmark since it was close and i was alone and wouldn't be bothered by pesty voices hollering "are you done yet?" ;)

so there i stood. an ornament in one green knit-gloved hand... and my keys in the other.

only.... that's not how it looked. somehow the ornament didn't look the way it did when i picked it out and.. hmph. why did my keys look that way?

i thought i should look around some more; see if i couldn't find something better. i kept wandering around like i normally do in there as it's all just jam-packed with glitter and goodies in every corner so that you see something new on each pass even though you've been down that aisle four times already. i would see something cute and then look as my chosen ornament, but dang if there weren't a bunch of other weird stuff in my hand, too! and on my jacket and up my sleeves!! i tried to brush them off, but it didn't seem to work.

i remember getting my cell outta my pocket then to call tommy or one of the boys (tommy and corey were working on corey's mustang) but for the life of me, it didn't look like my phone. it looked like some kind of toy with sparkles all over it and i couldn't read anything but the numbers... sorta.

by then i was beginning to be...

...scared.

i knew it was time for the store to close, or at least i thought it was close to time. i kept waiting for people to leave. to go away so i could talk to the 'little girl' who was working there. we'd talked about our kids and homeschooling and kids playing sports, etc. when i'd first come in. i knew she'd help me. but i could never catch her alone. i was terrified that i was losing my mind. i couldn't understand what was happening to me and i just wanted to ask her to call my husband for me.

i just kept walking around hoping everyone would go away and this girl would help me, all the while wondering what on earth was happening to me. i was getting more frightened and more angry that i was in this situation every second.

finally, i stopped at a display case near the checkout and called to her. when she came over, i discovered that i couldn't speak very well. i got out to her that i had diabetes.

did i need to take something for it? did i want her to give me some chocolate? (fyi:: chocolate is not good for a severe low)

i didn't respond. she wasn't asking the right questions.

finally i said my name is geannie. with a g.

ummm....

was there someone i needed to call?

yes! i pulled out the cell again, flipped it open and tried to at least show her a name, but nothing made sense. i remember seeing the calculator come up, and i think some stupid game... but i couldn't get to the recent call list, which is where she could have found all three of my guys' numbers listed.

then i just kinda lost it and told her i had to sit down, and i plopped down right there in the floor. from there, i kept messing with the phone telling her i was losing my mind.

then i began to get....

....angry.

i was mad at myself. how could i have let myself get in this shape? i had no clue what the heck was going on, but it was obvious that my blood sugar was dangerously low. why i was even conscious was unknown other than God's mercy and grace.

i was thinking about how tommy would be mad at me, the boys would be mad at me and how they'd make the face i sometimes get a glimpse of when they're in a hurry to leave or in the middle of something else but have to stop to take care of me. *sob* i thought of how mom was going to nag and worry and fret me to death everytime i stepped out of the house now. i thought of how stinkin' scared i was going to be now. and what if this is something other than my sugar?! it's too weird. it's not the way i normally do... what if it's permanent? what if, what if, what if???

i was to the point of growling almost, except i still had this problem that this poor little girl, who by now was crying because i had started crying and because i had scared the living daylights out of her, still didn't know who i was or who to call. and... i was getting weaker and less coherent by the second.

i summoned all my sagging brain cells and blurted out "casey!" because ... why? well, i guess because i knew he was at home. ? who knows. then i said "tommy!"

is that your husband?

yes!at some point, she had seen the hallmark tag on my keyring and was trying to look up my info on the computer. she asked if my name was jennifer.

no. geannie. g-e-a-n-n-i-e. then i went on to tell her my last name and i think the road i live on. from there it's kinda fuzzy even though i still remember huge chunks of things i shouldn't. at this point, i felt...

....helpless.

anyhow, next thing i know, i see this face that looks familiar to me... i realize it's one of the paramedics that teaches the cadets and that corey's ridden the ambulance with... then i hear this male voice somewhere behind saying "is that ???" and calling me by my maiden name. i don't know how, but i knew who it was when i heard his voice even though i haven't seen the twerp since junior high. i knew he was working on the ambulances and that corey had ridden with him too, but it was just strange in that state for me to know his voice and immediately know his name. we had this pestery pick-on-each-other-gotcher-back-anytime relationship back in the day. *lol!*

so... the lady started asking me alllll these questions about my pump. i think i just stared at her. don't ask a diabetic a whole slew of questions when they seem out of it. give them some orange juice with sugar (REAL sugar) in it or a regular coke and THEN ask them questions. if they didn't need the sugar, they can take some insulin or whatever, but i think it's just safer (my personal 32-years-w/typeI-diabetes opinion only here, folks) to give some fast-acting sugar first and ask questions later! nuff said.

finally she asked was my sugar high. i shook my head. i said low! and they asked if i could get on the stretcher. i remember standing up (with help, of course!) and taking a step over to the stretcher and sitting down. tommy was there by the time they'd got me into the ambulance. my junior high miscreant pal was kidding me about using a 911 call just to see him. *sheesh* see what i mean? ;)

tommy had brought my glucagon shot with him and so he gave me that as the emts had already given me one tube of glucose but it hadn't raised my sugar at all (see why it's better to give the sugar FAST, and then worry about asking questions?) anyhow, in about 20 minutes, in which time they let me go through my phases of crying and rage and we even got a little chatting in... but then i was much MUCH better. and by then i was...

....thankful.

when i got out of the ambulance (we didn't go to the hospital as they couldn't have done anything more anyway!) i saw that the girl's husband was still in hallmark so I went over. he was up front with their two little boys.. one about 3 and the other just a baby. the 3 year old went in the back to get his mom, whose name is steph, i learned.

she was still all red-eyed when she came up, but i stepped over and hugged her neck as i told her how great she was and how thankful i was that she had helped me the way she did. today i went by and left a card for her. i hope to get a letter off to corporate tomorrow commending her actions.

*shrugs* i think she went above and beyond the call of duty, don't you?

Posted by subject G~ at 11:39 PM | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBacks (0)

ow: because i've been working really hard trying to get my kitchen painted etc. and so forth. tommy came through and painted the ceiling for me aaand put the top coat on of the color for the top of the walls and of course, he got all the heavy stuff out of the way, so that was supergreat, for lack of a better adjective right now. mom came up a couple of days, despite my protestations. i worry now that she will be hurting her back or worse. perhaps you can imagine what it might do for the psyche were your mommy to wind up injured because she was painting your kitchen, hmmm?

anyhow... despite the nasty intestinal monster (i've about decided it's plain ol' ibs, as boring as that is. but it fits. *sigh*) i have been able to keep going at it, praise the Lord!! i spent one morning sitting in court with my friend. it was a long boring-sad-funny-pathetic experience, but at last, her divorce is final. *sigh* my back was already a little sore from gettnig ready to paint-slash-painting the day before and all the sitting on that bench didn't help. after that, it was a whirlwind of just paint, paint, paint! my spine got so ... i dunno ... tired, i guess, that it was literally and extremely sore to the touch. felt like someone had just pinged at it with a little hammer and bruised it on top of all the stiffness and soreness from overuse.

anyone else ever had that happen? i've never experienced any ache quite like that and thought it was really weird, but thankfully, SO thankfully... it went away with some smelly muscle rubs and pain relievers. thank God!

i worked til almost 3am friday night, then sat down in the living room where tommy and corey were snoozing (after helping move the fridge back in place) and some intense spy movie was on. i was probably already low, but i think i watched for about an hour before i started dozing/waking all panicky. then i remember (i dunno how, i usually don't remember stuff.. but then i usually don't walk around either) getting up and trying to turn off the tv (couldn't figure out how *sob*) then i tried to check my sugar (couldn't figure that out either) tried to wake tommy, but he would just mumble then go back to snoring.

i got very upset then and walked into the kitchen wondering what to do, still feeling panicked (because of the spy movie mostly.. seriously. i know, it's weird) but i did realize i was low and i just started freaking and crying/hyperventilating. then i started thinking "it's just you, stupid, you'd better figure out how to fix this. you don't have time to cry." even feeling as bad as i did (i figure it must have been in the 40's at least) i realized at this rate, my blood sugar would be dropping faster after my 'panic attack'. so, i found the box of co'cola amongst the mess (from moving all out of the kitchen!) and fixed myself a glass. i downed that and then started gobbling a handful of tootsie rolls.

that's when the cold hit me, so i went and got my self into bed, even plugged up the space heater, piled myself with covers and burrowed in to wait out that after-low-deep-freeze. i happened to glance at my clock; it was about 5:40am. *sheesh!* thankfully, i slept really soundly. but get this... i was up at about 9:40 next morning.

i know, i know. who IS this woman? i have no clue. she's desperate to have her kitchen out of her family room before thursday since she's supposed to be hosting thanksgiving and praying for strength each day! she does have an experiment going that may perhaps be contributing, but the results are not conclusive yet. more on that later. ;)

anyhow... saturday night, tommy and i made a mad dash to lowe's to look for a replacement light fixture for over our island bar thingie. we've had this "cloud" florescent since we built the house 12 years ago. totally white, very subtle, etc... one of the ballasts has been messed up for awhile. we replaced it once several years ago for about $8 (it's what makes the bulbs burn) but now? the dang things are over $20!! shoot! besides that, the cover has been broken on one corner for about 3 years. we've just been being extremely careful when cleaning it, and kept it turned to the most unnoticed side, etc. we looked up the same fixture we paid about $50 for 12 years ago... now it's at least $130. again i say, dang! so... we went searching for a 'good deal' and maybe an updated look.

here's what we found...

of course, then we had to get rid of the old "polished brass-look" 5 light hanging over the dining table. we didn't care for the pendant that matched the island light exactly, but found this one that was perfect:

what? oh. did you see the new paint back there? yeah yay! because the painting is finally, finally done!! but then i guess you also saw that there are no curtains hung or much of anything else put to rights in the room. so here's a pic of the almost-sorta-semi finished look... of the walls, at least:

tommy's aunt is in from indiana and she tells me she's coming over tuesday for the day. her and her new pekingese puppy, 8 weeks old, she bought "cheap" from the flea market yesterday. great. just what i need when i have tons to get done in this house. just the thoughts of this puts me on the brink. i just don't see how i can get everything done that needs doing. wednesday, the boys and i have dental appointments and so i'll be tied up most of the morning, knocking out the most productive part of my day, so i need to make tomorrow and tuesday count.

argh! tucker's gonna be going nuts with another dog in here, even if she does keep the thing in the carrier (which she had the inlaws bring her over to borrow from us yesterday, too! *shrugs*) he's going to be freaked out and he's intolerable enough as it is. he's been all out of sorts what with the house all in a shambles and the back door is completely blocked, so he can't figure out why he's not going out his usual way to potty. he's like c'mon lady... i can get over here to the door. what's your problem? let. me. out! anyhow... i'm just a little tense, as usual, but still. gah.

to be completely honest, this aunt makes me feel quite edgy. i really don't know her very well at all. she's nice enough, but she's quite brash and is used to, apparently, just talking about anything and everything in front of whom-or-whatever is in her vicinity, be it children, the preacher, strange old men, the mayor, an operational public address system...etc. case in point: her discussion with a friend over whether a woman of her age needs to get a boob job and how she told the friend her boobs have been fine for 72 years, 5 kids and two husbands she's not going under the knife just to make them bouncy again.

GAH! i thought my poor casey was going to die of embarrassment because he was like sitting at the same table while she discussed this in her same loud tone of voice and used both hands to make indicative motions all the while.

*sputter, cough*

good grief!! and she's really weird when it comes to animals, and i have an idea that the whole day will be spent with her wanting to get that dog out of the carrier and run it in and out at which time tucker will throw a hissy fit. this will in turn make me have to yell at him over the loud brain-stabbing barks to shut up. he is not good at this, so it will take some time, and lots of yelling. tucker is just not good with changes especially when they include new people who make him uncomfortable or animals and especially not both. *sigh* besides, i think the poor little thing is probably not in the best of health and i don't want it in my house all day!!!

i am doomed.

had i known what she was getting ready to do when she asked what i was going to do tuesday, i'd have started ticking off my list. but instead, i said "nothing in particular". STUPID! i think i will call to say that i would like her to just leave water and food with the puppy and not bring it here. maybe she didn't plan to, but my suspisions suspect otherwise. we'll see.

===after church this evening====

oh well... i guess i'll just have to see how all that turns out. after listening to the sermon tonight, maybe (?!?!!) i need to be a little lot! more thankful. hmm...

okay, so it's late now and i need to hit the sack. tons to do and not nearly enough time and all that. here's praying for a more thankful heart and another day of energy for me and a dayful of whatever you're needing for you!

~hugs~

Posted by subject G~ at 03:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

what it says:::
(this is the redundance part and the rage, all mixed together)
*ahem*

just think about it awhile. you can probably surmise the major details. i'm physically ill and mentally drained and it ain't over yet. my sons wanna know how i sue for the decline in health i've suffered from dealing with my health insurance provider all this time.

sick, sick, sick.

Posted by subject G~ at 06:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (6) | TrackBacks (0)

stuff that's been happ'nin' since my last post:::

• that sunday, we went to sonny's bbq with my parents for my birthday. no, i didn't pick the restaurant. but it was okay. my sis was there, too. we had a good time. my mom gave me a cute hooded jacket thing. hard to describe, and she told me to make an eye appointment; that she was going to help pay for my glasses. says she's tired of seeing me squint at stuff. *sheesh* well, actually, that's a really great gift, cuz i can't see worth squat!
• monday, nothing ((that i can remember, that is)
• tuesday, i had an endo appointment. tommy took off work and went with me. we took the intrepid since the explorer still lacked the power steering pump. it rained all day, which sucked! but my appointment went great! i got the results from my last labs (which were supposed to have been mailed to me already!) and all the results were excellent! all my cholesterol thingies were super, my triglicers were awesome, my TSH (thyroid) was wickedly level (ha!) and my hA1c? (the blood test that checks your average sugar over 3 months) was fantastic!! it was 6.0% which is the best it's EVER been in my diabetic life of almost 32 years! gah! oh... and i'd lost five more pounds. which isn't much in 3 months, but i'll take it! that makes 13 in the past 6 months without really trying. sheesh. imagine if i'd just work at it a little? *sigh* i wish i felt like it!
  when i mentioned feeling so stinkin' tired all. the. time. to the endo, he immediately mentioned a sleep study. gah!
  i dunno if that would even be worth fooling with. i already went to a sleep study consult here in town. (hated the doc. such a jerk!) endo says they have a dedicated steep study wing right at the clinic. sheesh. i dunno. they won't even consider doing anything else until i get that blasted study done, it seems. what's a tired, tired girl to do?
  anyone else ever had one of those things???
• wednesday, d-day... the boys insist on taking me out for lunch. i don't really feel much like going. my stomach is bothering me again and *surprise* i'm tired. but i pull myself together enough to go. they take me to o'mally's and we have a very nice meal together.
  that morning, mom had called to tell us she wants us to come down for cake after supper. i tell her i don't need no cake! she already has it made. sheesh. so okay. i'm wondering what time dad will end up getting in from work and worrying about missing LOST on tv! isn't that shameful?!? lol! turns out tommy was the last to show up because, love his heart, he had to go through a couple entire stores trying to find something for me. i feel sorry for him in a way. but has such a hard time buying even simple (which it would have HAD to be! :) gifts for me because he doesn't know anything about me. sheesh! that's another post, though. lol! after cake, i did open a beautiful card from him and a gorgeously wrapped bottle of bubble bath (which i do love) and great smelling lotion (which i also love).. and the boys, God bless 'em, got me an mp3 player. now i can drown out the screaming in my ears instead of just getting jumpy and freaked out!! ;) anyhow, we end up staying past LOST time, but the boys had gone home to tape it. *whew* ;)
  
• thursday, nothing (that i can remember, although i'm pretty sure we went for groceries)
• friday, my sister took me out for lunch. we left at 11:30 and headed for chinatown. yum! except for that stomach thing is bothering me still. gah! i'm getting tired of that stupid stuff! anyhow, i'm able to eat at least a little but my stomach starts with the noises and i know it's going to get bad eventually. *sigh*
  from there, we're going to the movies, as per sis's plan. it's early, though so we stop at a vendor mall where my mom has a booth. we lollygag around there for almost 45 minutes, then head to the theater. i'm thinking we'll see something like the prestiege (it's just opened) or maybe one night with the king those are the only two matinees that interest me.... when we get there, i'm informed that we'll be seeing the escape clause: santa clause III. *sigh* i shoulda known.
  ah well. it wasn't bad. i just coulda done with a more adult movie, kwim??? oh, well... that's sis. it was fun to hear her laugh and to spend time together. since she married (a hermitcrab) we don't get to do that very much anymore. gah!

  it's about 4:30 when i get home. i'm pretty whooped already, but i can't unwind just yet! no! tonight is the birthday club dinner with my two friends! in an hour and a half, karen will be here to pick me up for a yum-n-yak at cracker barrel, the official meeting place of the birthday club. i had a really good time. karen got me a gorgeous sweatshirt, but it's too big. i'm hoping cb will have something as cool i can exchange it for! she also got me a pretty ceramic ornament. diane got me, of all things!!!! a scrapbook kit..... for tucker!!! the gift also included a bag of lifesavers (last bday get-together, i had a VERY bad low blood sugar "on" diane) and this reindeer 'costume' for tucker. it's such a cute idea! i can't wait to work on it. *sigh* just working up the courage? now that's gonna be the challenge. that, and finding some time. gah!

i had a very, VERY full birthday day!! sheesh!

what happened after that? good grief, i don't know!

• i've been fighting off a cold the whole time. it's slowly getting better, tho. S L O W L Y


• we've got the explorer fixed, better than ever and the intrepid up for sale. woo!


• my current jean size (no i'm not telling!) is getting kinda loose. some styles or maybe it's the brand, are down right baggy, but the next size down is too tight. sheesh! i guess with my stomach all goofed up and me not eating much, maybe i'll be able to make it down to that next size, but then i'll only have like one pair of jeans because i can't afford any more! lol! good problem to have, i guess. ha!


• we have the ugliest kitten at our house. she's been here for about four days now. i'm telling you, she's hideous! but she's the lovin'est thing you ever saw. corey is in love with her. she climbs up the length of him and rides around on his shoulders, rubbing her head against him like mad. she is a real people-cat. she squawls like a banshee to come in the house, but we've made her a warm comfy place outside. tucker takes a big enough fit when she comes and looks in the doors! lol! anyhow... someone tommy works with wants her for a housecat. (yay!) but corey says no. he only gets the cat if he buys the 'trep. sheesh!
• they're talking about letting mamaw come home, but... she still can't really care for herself. everyone seems to assume, or perhaps other family members are telling the staff and doctors that my mother can care for mamaw if she comes home. but that's not true.
  my mom is not physically able. mamaw will require almost constant supervision because she can't even clean herself after going to the toilet, okay? she can barely get around on her walker unless it's first thing in the morning, or just a very good day. most of the time, she has a lot of pain in her feet and she won't follow the therapist's orders to put her feet up. she can't stand the thought that she'll miss something, so she sits in her wheelchair with her feel dangling most of the time, out in the lobby. it's her favorite place. why they don't bring a stool or put the feet rests up is beyond me, but they don't.
  anyway, my mother cannot take care of mamaw. people think just because they live within yards of each other, it'd be a breeze to just 'run check on her', but that's SO not all there is to it. mamaw treats my mother differently than anyone else. she is more whiny, more accusatory, more needy with mom. and more demanding. it's an ugly situation with everyone saying things like "i'd come take care of her if i could..." or "i know of a lady who sits with people and she only charges $$$..." as if, #1 my father is the only child mamaw has and #2 that he is made of money. she does have another, older son.
  gah. i gotta shut up. this just gets nastier the more i talk about it. please pray. it's wearing the most on my mother, who must still deal the most with mamaw just because she's doing her laundry (driving 30mi one way every other day) and all that stuff....and she's stressed about the possibility of her coming home, of what is going to be expected of her and probably mostly, what people will say. *sigh* please pray for God's intervention. thanks!

Posted by subject G~ at 01:16 PM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)

... please go here and fill out this form. i sent out about 33 invitations via email that take you directly to the page, so if you got one of those, and you already filled out the form, thanks. really, thanks a lot! it takes all our voices to make a difference, to put a stop to this kinda nonsense.... no outrage!!!.

anyhow... thank you!!

have a wonderful day.

Posted by subject G~ at 10:53 AM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)

i consumed chocolate pooding....

[yes, this is actually chocolate cake mix. do you KNOW how hard it is to find a plain pic of regular ol' chocolate pooding/!?! gah! just deal with it, okay?]
credits: photogragher and host

....with a straw.....

credit: photo link

hey.... it wasn't as easy as it sounds. why? oh, because my sugar was low. casey was kinda frustrated that i'd chosen pooding as my "recovery food" because it takes so long to eat, so he remedied that by replacing my spoon with a straw.

hm. i guess it beat the alternative....

credit: random googliy image of pooding covered baby

just thought you might wanna know, or maybe try it for yourself. it's quite challenging even when your blood sugar's not 48! :)

Posted by subject G~ at 02:51 PM | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBacks (0)

got this in my email today:

now, i admit to being a homebody. i don't go out much. i'm not on anybody's a-list, let alone the "extras" list for party invitations. heck, i barely get out to buy groceries sometimes. so yeah. i'm not cyndi lauper we bopp-a you bopp-a she-bop. um.... no.

but shootfar, bubba! if i cain't come up with sumthin' better'n fiddlin' with muh cell phone er makin' a party fer muhse'f an' invitin' people er runnin' around town all by muhse'f... well, i jus' ain't-a foolin' wi' no birthday at'all.

gah!

last year, i had to buy my own birthday present. tommy kept telling me we'd go together, maybe to lexington to a big bookstore to shop together, etc., etc., yeah whatever... i needed a new bible and i wanted a specific one with a strong's concise concordance and reference.

thing after thing kept coming up... none of them were things he couldn't have put aside to do this with me, but he didn't and finally the day before or maybe day of, i forget -bah, he tells me "honey, looks like i'm not going to be able (BE ABLE?!?) to get that bible for you. why don't you just go pick out whatever you want?"

gah. it upset me, but it didn't really surprise me, so whatever, i just let it go. this year though? i honestly don't think he has the slightest inkling that my birthday is even coming up. with all that's going on with mamaw, i doubt that anyone else remembers either. which is fine with me, really. mom feels so obligated to always DO something... and how horrible it'd make me feel if she put herself out while she's so worn out and run ragged. *wretched face*

anyhow... instead of all those lame ideas from ol' dottie, i went and bought me something else that i've been needing really bad this year....

i have a hard time finding jackets that fit. they're too tight in the shoulders if it's cut like a "suit jacket" and too long in the sleeves almost always so that i have to look for a sleeve that can be rolled under or out. i hate bulky jackets or fuzzy, fat collars, lots of zippers or buttons or other frou-frous that will static to me or fall off. i can't handle tight elastic cuffs. see? i'm pretty picky.

but i was desperate. after i got my hair cut this morning, i went next door to a clothes store i'd never been in before. just to check. they have lots of frou-frou stuff, and then all the like grungy jeans and sweatshirt stuff. i asked the lady about jackets and she pointed me in the direction.

you can't tell how purple the thing in from the pic, but take my word. it is p u r p l e. i like it. it's a bit roomy in the shoulders, but not noticably so unless you're looking and the sleeves were a fuzz long, but the cuffs have two buttons on them. i can unbutton one and flip the cuff up and the length is almost perfect!

so there. take your dumb ol' birthday celebration ideas and stuff 'em, dottie!

Posted by subject G~ at 02:55 PM | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBacks (0)

nothing much to tell.... well, yeah, there are a few things, but really... no time!

let's do a rush-blab update, shall we? *gah!*

• the title for the 'trep got kicked. long, disgusting sorry-g'ment-people kinda story, but it got re-sent with hopefully no further costs to us... we'll have to wait and see, but hopefully, it'll be here tomorrow barring any further infuriation from our lovely state capitol workers. GRRR!

  and to top it all off? the thing runs so unbelievably well!! it's so tight... no rattles and squeaks, etc.. it starts like *snap* that and just runs like a dream to be a '97-'96-'94 'trep w/leather interior and all that jazz. lol i'm driving the plateless, registrationless, insuranceless thing to get prescriptions today. *hmph!* (it's just down the road here, thankfully, but PLEASE, LORD let that title be here tomorrow!)

• me health stuff: the on-again-off-again intestinal stuff is still going on. i dunno what to make of it. i thought maybe it was a bug of some sort, but now since i have major m a j o r sore muscles all down my left side like i've been walking around carrying weights or something? i'm thinking maybe stress? but i didn't think anything was bothering me that much really. *sigh* i just know i'm tired of this sick stomach thing. very not fun!

  in other news.... i went off my anti-depression med about a month ago, too. i hadn't told anyone til last week. when i told tommy he goes, you're kidding. well, with all that's been going on lately? [tax bill, vehicles dying, etc] you're doing fantastic! hm. my husband doesn't often say things like that. lol. but he's right. for the first time in about 12 years, i am without any sort of anti-depression medication. wooo-hoo!

  oh wait. well, i am on this one med that's technically an anti-dep, but i take it to help me sleep. so maybe i fibbed a little. but let's just be happy 'bout this, uhkay? ;)

  most of the meds i take have as a side effect fatigue and worse. and i just got so sick of being so tired! all. the. time!!! some of them daggone things i can only go without a day or two til i feel it... b i g t i m e as in stiff joints and such. y'know... some meds you just gotta have. unfortunately. but i was determined to see if i couldn't do without something... so i stopped the anti-dep med.

  anyhow... there's that tidbit for you. it may be that sometime down the road, i'll need to go back on them again, and that's okay. i've been on so many different ones trying to find one that would work for me, you'd die if i started to list them... some of them i can't even remember! so i have felt blessed that God 'sent' this one that worked so well for me and helped me get back to where i could function.

  um... more tidbit.

• tax thingie: finally got that all straightened out. turns out we will owe, but it's lots less than i'd feared. thank God! i called and talked to the lady who'd sent the letter and she was so nice. that's what i get for making a mountain out of a mole hill. [*ahem* to some certain peoples out there who are also being worry warts these days?] granted, it's no small amount... we will have to set it up in payments, but again, it's nothing like the thousands i was imagining. praise the Lord!

---

new stuff
• church: we went to a new church sunday. my parents have been going to evening services there for a couple of months i think. we all enjoyed it very much and after so much emptyness and disappointment in church services today? it was a really nice surprise and a great blessing. you don't realize how much you miss going to church, i mean really going to church til you finally get to go again after a long period of time. is this the place for us? i don't know, but for now, we'll enjoy the blessings the Lord gives us there til He gives us other instructions. for now, i'm just hoping and praying that we can all draw close to Him.
• more vehicle? more headpain: tommy just purchased a "new" (to him) truck. you know the poor man has been without a 'work truck' since getting rid of that sad ol' jeep j-10 back when corey got his 'stang.

  and yeah, it was pretty bad when he had to do a job out of the exploder... what a mess! so he traded the old gokart trailer and $125 for this '91 ford f150 pickup.

  seems to be an okay truck. the insides aren't trashed and the motor's good. it did need some work though since it'd been sitting for a long time. this is the nicest truck he's had, poor guy, but for what he uses them for, it's all he needs, too. the thing that's bugging me is why do we need yet another vehicle right now that we can't (as of yet) drive? gah!!!

  we take the exploder tomorrow to have the tranny looked at... or taken out or something. anyhow, it's gonna be torn down, so that we'll then have NO legal vehicles (until that title gets here for the 'trep and that truck? it's a standard!)

  maybe i have more stress than i realized...

• speak up, i can't see you: my monitor is about to die! it's been trying to crap out on me for months, but it's getting really bad now. i can't even explain what it does other than looking like it has some sort of electronic interference (when it doesn't) and the windows curling around so that you can't see the top or bottom and getting all distorted. (means you can't click the tabs or icons!) for the longest time, even though the edges were distorted, you could still click them, but now they're SO distorted that you can't even see them. it's like they're curled all the way around like when you roll paper around a pencil. anyhow... dunno what we'll do about that. i've priced some flat panels online, but that's still gonna be outta reach. i may be stuck with some old piece of crud from the dumpster again. (i did tell ya'll that other dumpster monitor blew up, right? mm-hm)

again, instead of a neat little topic specific post, you've gotten a big long blab, but folks, that seems to be the only way i can operate. oh, for a nice compact little thought with no rabbit trails! *pththt*

looks like another weekend of chaos and the usual stuff. *sigh* i'd love to spend the whole thing in a hot tub soaking my stiff, achy muscles!

hope you have very peaceful, blessed weekend (and think of me while you do it! lol!)

blessings---

Posted by subject G~ at 11:14 AM | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBacks (0)

image credits

Posted by subject G~ at 09:39 PM | Permalink | Comments (7) | TrackBacks (0)

I've been working on this blasted update for over a week. Yep. Over A Week.

And whyyyyy is it taking me so long to do this thing? Hm. Well, any number of reasons basically. Pick one. Make one up. Either way, one is as likely to work as another. *sheesh*

But... I digress. Let me see if I can pick up where I left off the last time I worked on this thing and start winning back my honor as a respectable blogger in the cyber universe! *dun-da-da-dah!*

You may want to refer back to that last post since this does sorta begin there...from 09-23-06

• on d-day: what a joke! literally! looong story short? we spent three hours waiting for her case to be called .... in the wrong courtroom!! GAH! after that long, she says she has to clock back in at work, so we leave. wha? oh...she didn't have to be there for it... she just wanted to be (which i understand)... but STILL!

  she called me about 20 minutes after i got home asking me to look up her lawyer's number (why didn't she have it stored on her cell?) then she calls back in another 10 and tells me about the wrong courtroom thing. sheesh! anyhow... i think all that's left now is signatures. urgh. it wouldn't have been so bad except that she griped so much the whole time about why her lawyer wasn't there and how she was taking off work, losing money, yadda, yadda... and they still hadn't called her case. AAARRRRGGGGGHHH!!!!!!
  

  
  
  
• the invite from long-lost sunday school classmates: unbelievablely, i got another call from the same lady the next saturday morning informing me that the cookout had been postponed to this monday. sheesh! i was all like "oh, okay. sure." and she was like "if anything changes, i'll let you know. but we'd sure love to have you." so one moment it's like we've been there the whole time, the next it's like we're new recruits. *shaking my head* i just don't get them. *sigh* anyhow...we still have no plans to go, for more reasons than one. more about that later, though...
• that knot on my head: i ended up making an appointment with the doc that friday. thursday evening, it hurt so bad, i thought i was just going to die. and in the same way a migraine will cause the muscle tension, etc... the same thing was happening with this knot. my whole left side was all tensed up and sore.

  anyhow, turns out it was an inflammed lymph node. sheesh! i didn't even know i had any of those on the back of my head! doc said possibly from sinus infection or somesuch. well, for the woman who wakes daily with sinus issues, this is entirely feasible! so, i got a zithr0 pack and a round of pr3dnis0ne. by the time i was done with the nasty-tasting preds, the knot was pretty much gone. thank God! :)

• the state t@X thing: sadly, i am still putting off dealing with that. maybe i'll call the number in a while and discuss just what the heck i need to do exactly. the letter mentions sending copies of checks, reciepts and all kinda 'supporting documents' and it also mentions a letter on company letterhead (from t's company) stating the nature of the 'pr3t@X' deduction, etc... so i dunno if that means either/or or if it means both or what?!?! gah!

  i just know we're going to end up owing a ton of money. we really need heavy-duty prayer about this. it wouldn't be the first time i've screwed up with our t@X3s, but not to this extent... and over this many years? :* (

  *sigh* okay. i know God is in control of it all. i KNOW that. and just like all the other scary, dark times in my/our lives before, i know He will take care of us now. but i am a world-class procrastinator, especially in a situation like this. i have til the 12th to do something and tommy's becoming rather po'ed at me.

  His Eye Is On The Sparrow
  this is a video, but if you're so inclined, download it. watch and listen. it's not necessarily my favorite rendition of this song, but this IS my song these days.
• b-ball: i didn't finish telling you what the guy at the Y told me they'd do after the extra sign-up time... he said they'd have to issue refunds. which is what happened. i got the check in the mail a few days ago. which normally? is really a nice thing, but i'm so bummed that he's not going to get to play on a league that is "real", ya know? this means, i s'pose, that at the end of this month, he'll want to sign up for upward b-ball. which is okaaay, i guess. but the way they make the kids play is pretty ridiculous sometimes. especially for the older kids.

  *bah* i don't feel like hashing out the things i see wrong with this ball program, because honestly, upward is a lot of good things! it has a lot of pluses where the Y leagues have minuses, but one thing the Y has/had going for it was that the games were "real". the teams "jumped" (or is it "jumped off"??) for possession of the ball; the basic rules of the game, none of which I can point out to you right now of course, are more like 'regular' basketball instead of all 'dumbed down' the way they are in upward. lots of times the kids will get frustrated because of the way their rules make the game turn instead of letting it play out according to the teams' and players' abilites. of course, then there was the way the Y didn't "even out" its teams... the "school and church" teams were kept together while the poor kids-off-the-street who hadn't played or played much all got stuck on one or two teams by themselves to face these "well-oiled ball-playing machines", ya know? *gah* anyhow... too bad the Y did things that way. i think that's why nobody wanted to sign up this year. what a shame. :(

• chicken fest: it was wet. the boys didn't have to do much patrolling. well, one night they showed up only to find that no one, and i mean no one was there. no other cadets nor any advisors! gah! yeah, it was raining, but my boys showed up for duty, like they said they would. grrr!

  turns out that, as usually happens either after chickie fest or the fair when the slackness of the program (or rather of the leadership!) starts to really show, someone else has taken over leadership. it's a gal who's helped run the thing before. she did a pretty good job as i recall, but i wasn't thrilled with her um... lifestyle choices, i guess you could say. she ended up pregnant by the "almost-divorced" man she was living with and his 8yo daughter.

  *sob* #1 - those kinda situations just make me so sad. for everyone. and #2 - what a great (sarcasm there, people!) example for the young cadets! yay! *gag* it just makes me sick. ya don't know whether to smack people like that or cry and hug them, ya know? *long, weary sigh*

  annnyhow, she's now a married mother-stepmom so hopefully she's learning some responsibility... learning that it's important to set a good example when you're working with young people, etc. *shrug* who knows. i guess i shouldn't say too much about this girl's life choices since the former leader-dude is divorced and made no secret about the problems his ex-wife was causing him. thing is? the whole company, most the employees anyway, many of whom in one way or another will be in contact with these kids, are not married to the people they live with and most of them have kids together, plus at least one or more they've brought along from past relationships. (note: not all of the folks at the station live like this. some are long-term marrieds with all their kids in common... just so you don't think i'm trying "bash" evvveryone)

  *shaking my head* call me old-fashioned, but i just can't wrap my head around those kinds of things. it just makes me sad.

  nevertheless, i do hope that this change of leadership will make things better for the cadet program.

• myspace: okay... i was able to find kymmi, but it was NOT easy!!! and even then i couldn't get myself added as her friend because apparently i don't know her last name or her email addy! lol! and claire? i hunted and hunted for you, too, but to no avail. i didn't even try to look for you, jenean. i don't use nor do i intend to use it for blogging and there are ways to fancy up the pages a bit, but like someone else said, i signed up so i could post on another person's page. what a cheap way to get your member numbers up, huh? *bah!* i also got on there because my boys have spaces too. actually, that was my number 1 reason for doing it. anyhow... if you have a space and wanna friend, just add me. :D

new stuff....

• i been sick. what of? i dunno. just run down. sooo sleepy. kinda the usual, but more constant for more consecutive days. i know the stupid inflammed lymph node (which tommy kept calling "limp noid" which i didn't bother correcting... it would just confuse him) really made me feel wiped out, then add the nastypoo meds... but i think i picked up some sort of bug after that. the intestinal issue sort that keeps the stomach making all manner of rolling, squishy noises... and... uh... other things. *urgh* taking pred always makes my sugars go up, so i had to up the basal rates on my pump. now however, after the pred is beginning to get out of my system, i'm having to slowly readjust the basal rates again, which is the pits because instead of watching out for "upper level" sugars, now i'm getting lows. *gah* ah well. here's my life, and welcome to it. *pththt*
• vehicular manslaughter: i think this means when the one vehicle you have to drive continually and consistantly fails to operate reliably by constantly flubbing up the same ding-dang thing that flubbed up before that your hubby already unflubbed repeatedly a million times before now. which makes you wanna go slaughter the man what made the vehicle.... er, ah.. or something like that.

  whatever the case, i'm about to pull my hair out!!

  yep. the exploder is having tranny troubles again. only this time, instead of going kerTHUNK when shifting from 2nd to 1st, it's now refusing to shift automatically from 2nd to 3rd! big metallic piece of poop!

  i think tommy has it right when he says it's gotta be the 2nd gear whatchamajigger, therefore, says i, "change it!" but he wants to be sure, so we have a thursday appointment to get the large green hiney pain scanned. *argh*

  so, we're sorta vehicle-less. the thing can be driven if you know how to rev it up to just the right amount of rpm's then let off the gas, then slowly ease back up to speed thereby essentially "popping" the thing into 3rd gear. but that's a kinda iffy proposition, ya know? and i'm not about to try it myself, okay? it's stressful enough to drive to town without worrying about making the doohickey pop into the thingamabob without blowing up the whatchajiggy. nooo thank you. i'll just stay home and eat crackers with water, thank you.

  oh.. all this happened friday after the boys and i had just made a day of running errands and stuff in town. thank You, Lord!

• in the meantime: remember the 'trep graveyard? the 'trep parts place? and all the other intrepid jokes that were made during the great make-one-intrepid-out-of-several experiment wherein we actually ended up with one decent driveable one that corey was able to sell for 2k? (yeah, he's still awaiting the last $500 of that, but still!) well, all this time, we've still had the remnants of one sitting here in the driveway. one with enough parts and pieces to make one more running vehicle. not a very nice-looking vehicle, but none the less, a vehicle the could possibly be capable of running.

  and by golly, wouldn't you know it? after a few hit-and-miss evenings of working on it, just mainly so tommy could have it out of his face... after the majority of the day spent running errands with a problem-free explorer, we came home around 2pm to find tommy home. he was in the drive working on the 'trep. he'd just decided to take off the rest of the day. no particular reason.

  when he got home, he saw that we were still in town and saw the car sitting there and decided to work on it some. corey took the explorer back to town to pick up mel, then they headed back to town a bit later to get movie tickets.

  just barely a mile from the house, the troubles started so they turned around and came back home. by that time, for the first time, tommy had the 'trep's ignition turning over. (but it would die)

  several things fell into place later... a gasket was found that fit exactly; something else worked on the 'trep; the battery held charge on its own; spark plugs were what was needed to get the engine to run; two of the four error codes stopped running.... there's probably more, but that's all i can remember. and why did tommy feel compelled to come home in the first place? to work on the car? God worked so many things out that day. of course, we still needed/need many things before it'd/it's ready for the road, but wow! what a long way we've come!

  the things we need now are a clear title. tommy and case have been all over the place today looking for headlights. it seems the brackets to intrepid headlights are more fragile than eggshells. everytime they'd find one, at least one part of it was broken. new? they're like $70 each. *ahem* i think they finally apoxy'ed and pieced and patched one together. it should last at least long enough to get through the inspection to get the paperwork sent for a salvage title. then and only then can we get it licensed and insured. and tommy still thinks we can get the exploder fixed too.

  when it's fixed this time, it's getting a new home i think. we've started to try selling it the last couple of times when he's fixed the tranny problem, but then we'd think, "but it's fixed now!" ha! i dunno, tho. we'll just have to see how God leads us. *sigh*

  another thing for the prayer list? we discovered a crack in the windshield when tommy and case got back today. if the inspector notices it, and there's a good chance he won't, but if he does, the car won't pass inspection. (like there aren't a bunch of cars with worse windshields on the road right now!) anyhow... i dunno what tommy will do now. he took off today hoping to get all this stuff done, but obviously, it ain't happened! at the time of this here bullet, it's after 7:30pm. *sigh* if you think of it, please pray.

  updateage::: um, i was just going on what i was told about the crack in the windsheild folks, or maybe it grew after they first found it, but the inspector will have to be blind to not see that sucker! sheesh! it looks like it's started where one of the mounting brackets or whatever the thing is called where the screw goes in... and it proceeds to creep across the window like a nasty scar. gee-o! we'll have to get it replaced soon. but maybe, Lord willing, the inspector will pass it so we can go ahead and have something to drive in the meantime. you never know what God has planned....

• my back is sorta out: i haven't been to the chiro in several months. no more insurance til oh-seven, remember? anyhow, it hurts. i've been trying to do what i can to keep it in whatever position hurts the least. mom had been coming up at least once a day last week and using the "hand unit" (a theraputic handheld massage unit my dad used to sell years ago) on my back. the boys are supposed to be doing it when mom doesn't, per mom's instructions, but sometimes it gets so busy that we don't get time... and yeah, i feel like a louse to ask them, too. but it is a little better. like i said earlier, the knot on my head had been making things worse re: tension-type pain. but this is in my lower back and it's like a nerve-pinchy type thing. urgh. anyhow, i'm pretty sure it's basically just my back being out of line again. i'm just praying that it won't be out so bad that once i'm able to go back to see the chiro, that he'll end up having to start all over again.

  how frustrating will that be?!

• we just got through the second season of lost dvd's. and exciting news! i searched earlier and found out that in a couple days is when the third season starts!! woo! the only thing that worries me about trying to actually watch the series as it airs is, of course, missing one and then going nuts til finally, it's released on dvd juuuust so i can see that episode. but really, we like it so much, we would enjoy seeing it all again. or at least i would. *blush*
• stranger danger: in the past week, there have been at least three episodes of unknown people either passing by or hanging around here. one day, a shiny, black Merwether they knew i was watching them and more that they knew i was watching them. just past my parents' drive, the doors shut and the windows were down, both ballcapped people were looking out, still idling down the road and then suddenly, like a flash, they took off up the hill like a shot.

  talk about unnerving. that was. most of the places down the road past us are trailers or old farms. none of them even have blacktopped drives, let alone garage, never mind a shiny new Mer

  and then? corey comes in from his usual walk through the woods behind our house, and tells me that while he sat at the base of a tree where the woods end at the back of the cemetery beside our house, three twenty-something boys he'd never seen before walked up on him. chubs was with him and probably startled them, and then they were more startled to see corey, who just stood up, nodded at the boys and walked on to the house. he walked past the white jeep they'd driven up into the cemetery... all the way up the asphalt drive, off the end of it and into the grass...

  he said they appeared to be walking into the woods. he wasn't sure, though and obviously, he didn't stick around to find out. and... he didn't tell me this stuff til about 3 hours after the whole thing happened, so it was too late to give tommy a call. i mean, that part of the woods doesn't belong to us or even to my dad, but when people we don't know are up there fooling around? well, it's pretty unsettling.

  the next day, i saw two boys and a girl, they appeared to be about 12-14 years old walking down the road, away from town, with a little black dog i recognized from the neighbor's house. i knew the one girl was about the age of that neighbor's daughter, but i'd never seen her out walking by herself that way, and knowing they didn't have any sons, it was again, unnerving. corey said he thought he'd seen those same kids climbing a tree out in pap's field.

  when mom and dad stopped by last night, i told them all this stuff and let them know that we needed to make sure that we keep each other informed about new folks we see around. too many strange people and odd happenings going on all of a sudden. makes me sooo nervous. lots less comfortable with leaving my doors open even in broad daylight.

  and how sad is that?

okay then. that pretty much catches you up. for anyone who by chance is still checking here, yes, i am still (obviously) alive. just quite a bit more easily tired some days; spending more time with school stuff, small room-redos and various headaches.

hopefully, i can get back to at least posting a little more regularly. maybe one day i'll even learn to keep to one topic per post.

then again....

Posted by subject G~ at 11:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBacks (0)

Absolutely unrelated things that are or have been going on around here lately....

• tomorrow is "d-day" for the friend that I've kinda 'been with' from the beginning (almost 4 yrs now) of her divorce odessey. finally, after all manner or her foot-dragging or his plain ol' sorryness (like not paying his lawyer)... the day is finally here. i think she must have called me as soon as she got the court date confirmation in the mail. she didn't ask me outright to come stay with her and we got interrupted, so it was about a week later that i called and left her a voicemail saying that if she wanted me to, i'd be there. she called back about 30 minutes later to say she did.

  *deeeeep breath* so, tomorrow is the day. i dread it just because of all it represents, even though there really seemed to be no reconciliation possible because he wasn't interested in marriage unless she was fine with him running all over town with whomever he pleased. um, yeah....

• yesterday i got a phone call from a lady at "our" church... the one we'd gone to and belonged to for so long, but haven't attended regularly in over a year. very, very odd since even when we were there every week, this gal and i didn't have much in common and she never spoke to me. anyhow, she proceeded to say how maybe i didn't know her, but she was such-n-such from church, y'know, from sunday school class, and they were going to have a cookout on monday and she was just calling to let everyone know.

  i. was. dumbfounded. *blink, blink* to say the least!! anyhow, so i just asked some pertinent questions about the time and such and said i'd find out from tommy if we could come. he laughed more than i did. *sheesh*

  seriously, none of these people have spoken to us or ever called to see where we were in almost two years now! very odd.

• i haven't been having big major headaches, at least not all the time. only occasionally, thank God! today, though i found this knot/bump/whatever on the back of my head on the left side. (thus the post title!) it's sore as can be and once i realized it was there, i noticed that when i do have a minor headache, the pain can radiate from there. i have no clue when or where i could have gotten it. hmmmm........
• last week we got yet another blasted eyeareess-ish type letter. this one was from the state, though. it looks as though i may have been deducting the amount tommy pays for health insurance premiums when i shouldn't have. although i have no idea how that can possibly be legal. on our forms there's a reference to 'cafeteria plan', which is not a term used EVER at t's work. sheesh! i assumed that when you pay the stinkin' premiums with the money you earned then you paid the premiums with the money you earned!!!! if there's some distinction to be made between preteeax and after teeaxes, then MAKE IT, but daggone it, he worked just as hard for his money as the other guy did. why aren't his insurance premiums eligible to deeduct? i am madder than fire over this.

  they want info for FOUR YEARS so we may be sunk, children. sunk for sure. the only way i've stayed sane (well, mostly sane) is to just keep laying it at Jesus' feet...crying out to Him. i really don't know what we'll do. case is needing glasses, corey will need a new pair very soon and folks, the g~ is needing them bad! *sigh* life is feeling heavy these days... a-ton-of-lead heavy.

• case signed up for b-ball at the Y last week on what was billed to be the laaaast day of sign ups. when we called the next week to find out why we hadn't heard from anyone about the schedule, we were told they didn't get the "response" they'd hoped and so they had extended the signups another week. i called back at the beginning of the next week and they put me on with the guy over the program. he told me they barely had enough kids sign up for two teams, let alone a whole league!!! argh!

  i was afraid something like this would happen after last year's sorry program. *sigh* i just hate it for casey. he's improved sooo much over last year! i was really looking forward to seeing him play, even if i do have to wear earplugs to the gym! ;)

• thursday begins the world famous chicken festival. (don't ask) if you're reeeeaally curious, you can go here to learn more. both the boys will be patrolling with the emt cadet program each evening. oh, and the forecast is for rain each night. of course it is. bah.
• oh, one last thing... don't ask me why cuz i'm not quite sure, but i went and got myself a myspace account. i don't intend to blog over there, but it is something that is strangely appealing and oddly addictive. *pthththt* i'm having a horrible time trying to find a decent pic of myself in which my nose doesn't look like rodney dangerfield's. urgh!!! if you're on it and i haven't tracked you down for an add, then add me!! ;)

well, i guess that's it for now. i really should have already hit the hay. i do have a headache right now and have to be up early to get to the courthouse. *siiiiigh* yick!

have a wonderful rest of the week!

blessings----

Posted by subject G~ at 10:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (8) | TrackBacks (0)

Hello, ya'll! I just wanted to pop on here real quick and say a few things while Case is working on his math....

Um, for updates... I ended up back at the chiro yesterday. Neck was out again. No more insurance coverage, so this alignment cost me $40. I guess we'll stay inline or we'll just have to be a crooked ol' gal. *sigh* No way I can afford that kinda money! NO WAY!!

Casey and I have started "school", which means we're using BOOKS! ;) So far, so good. He seems to be very determined and is working diligently. But we've had several good long talks. He feels I'm not as available to help him when I'm online, so... for more reasons than one (neck! Case!) I'm not going to be online as much!

Um, oh yeah... Case has been conversing with a girl! on the phone of late. He met her through his pal when they went to the movies last time. He talks more on that phone than he has in all his life to any guy pals he's had. It's mostly about games or school or a movie... mostly games because most of the time he's talking, he's playing some driving game with tires squawling. *sigh* I dunno. It all seeeeems pretty platonic. I only "met" the girl the one time. She's 13 too and seemed nice enough, but ... I know nothing about her. *argh!* I'm not ready to go through this unknown-public-schooled-girl-friend thing again!!!!

Okay... in other news... Tommy's ear still bothers him. He's mad at the world, with an emphasis on doctors, and feels they're all stupid, etc., etc. I don't much care for this ear doc either and frankly, I don't think we'll go back to him. But he did prescribe Tommy some Cl@r!tin for the pressure in his ear. He had some sinus meds prescribed before... way before, but he never took them like he was supposed to. Somehow Tommy feels that if you take medicines you're weak and inferior.

Yeah. Isn't that nice? He jumps ALL OVER me for not taking MINE, WeakInferiorness that I am, but let me tell him there's something HE needs to take for HIS HEALTH?!?!?! And he's ALL up in arms. GAH!!!! (and we wonders why we're stressed, Precious?!?!??!)

Um, awrighty...moving along... in the world of automania... Corey is getting nearer to having his car ready to paint. He's still working his hiney off towards that end. Papaw Tom, my FIL, came back to work this past Monday but is having to take it slowly so Corey's working hard as ever. He recently had to take up some wage issues with Pap, my father, his employer. (what a stressful, tangled envirofam we have here?!?!??!?!!!!!) Long, complicated story, but making it short, even though my dad's business (and personal business, too!) is currently suffering from a major cash shortage, and I mean major, Dad did give Corey a much deserved raise. PTL!! I just hope that Corey will realize the stretch it was for Dad to give it. My life is WAY too full of this kinda of tug-of-war stress stuff. Waaaay too full. Sometimes I can push it aside.... sometimes I can't.

So... aside from that, Dad, with my mom's insistance I'm sure!, has made a deadline for Corey's "serious" schooling to begin. At the end of this month, says Daddy, Corey's going to three days a week. Well, Lord willing and business don't boom. *heh* Sometimes the phone rings off the hook with jobs and there's just no keeping up... he has to turn people away even with all the help he can get. *sigh* Anyhow... like I said, Lord willing... Corey will be able to crack down on finishing his schooling up at the beginning of September.

In true Bill O'R3ill3y style... or an unreasonable facsimilie... here's the last word or whatever it is he calls all that babble he does at the end of his shows....

I have become aware that some thing or things in my posts of late may have offended some of my readers. Now, I don't know this for a certainty... but upon deeper contemplation, I can see how things may have been taken disagreeably. Putting myself in another's place, I see how I may have felt, perhaps not offended, but at the very least, confused. I just want to make very clear that nothing I posted was meant to insult, offend or otherwise and I apologize if it came off that way. If you would like to discuss anything futher, please email me. If not, I will assume everything is 'kosher' between us. If this were a folded note passed between the aisle in class, I'd have included one of those "CHECK YES [] or NO []" lines...but I'm not savvy enough to put a the html equivilent on here, so... um, it'll have to be an email or a comment. Sorry. *shrug*

Now, in honor of my new resolution to spend less time on the computer... I'm outtie! I'll try to hop on in short spurts to make some visits as I can... be patient with me!

~hugs all around!!~ and have a blessed day!

Posted by subject G~ at 10:09 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

...while the sun shines

credit for this loverly photo

Up and at 'em this morning. No Monster buggin' me thus far, although...y'know... that sinus-y headachey feeling is there if I move too fast, etc... but that's nothing compared to what it's been like lately, so I'll take it, y'know??

Tommy goes back to the ear doc today. His MRI was negative, which is great, but then again... it doesn't explain why his ear feels so bad, so stopped up and occasionally painful. If the doc tells him again there's nothing wrong, I s'pose we'll be looking for another daggone ear "specialist". Burns my hide when you have to pay some stupid cow pile to tell you noooothing! Argh!

Anyhow... we've got almost two days of "school" under our belts. Casey seems really earnest about getting his lessons done and learning what he's supposed to. More about that in another post...

Ah well... I just wanted to let you guys know, I am feeling better today. Praise the Lord!! Thank you all so much for the prayers and concern.

I hope YOU are having a wonderful day!.

Many blessings....

Posted by subject G~ at 08:34 AM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

THURSDAY
#1

planning a surprise party is harder than I thought it'd be

#3

it was a good way to celebrate the big four-oh for Tommy

#4

even though way less than half the people who were invited showed up, which confirmed my suspicions a good time was had w/the fine company present

#5

like elements gather in one place

#6

Mutants really aren't so scary when they aren't eating and, well, you know....they wipe their mouthses and stuff...

SATURDAY

#7

A yapping poodle, and expressive children who delightfully express their delight at seeing said poodle, who in turn then yaps all the louder, which in turn either further delights or scares the bejeebers out of said children which of course, will bring expressions of delight and/or terror issuing forth loudly from their angelic little mouths, which in turn.... well, you get the picture, no? Well, all those things and The Monster? Not a good mix. Oh, and add to that a blood sugar of :

um... yeah... I didn't feel so good for quite some time on Saturday when all of the Lindases were here. But thank God, the sugar finally went down and the headache finally eased to a dull throb, the ears to a low trill and I could enjoy a little conversation. Thank You, Lord!

#8

now I know why fancy people take photos around their house before they have a big party....

...so they can like, tell when somebody's been in the medicine cabinets and stuff...

{this used to be one of those stress ball things--the cover wore off (sooprize!) and all that was left was this squishy balloon, apparently filled with flour (I wondered what was in there. now I know!) I s'pose somebody got interested in seeing their very own pix on my screensaver and poked my squishy? That's my theory... but I haven't heard back from the detective yet. It probably would work better if I actually cleaned up the desk first so you could tell the mystery mess from the usual, everyday mess, eh? LOL!!

Ahhhh.... and I slept most of the day Sunday except for awhile when my friend Karen came by for a visit. Nothing much to do but sleep when you don't have any mode of transportation and you're stranded at home because someone took the only vehicle you have... *AHEM*corey*COUGH*mel*HACK*

;) It was okay this time, though... I really REALLY needed the sleep!

Posted by subject G~ at 09:36 AM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

I'm still here. Not in tremendous pain, obviously. I worked on pix from the big surprise party for Tommy's 40th yesterday, but still don't have a post ready for that. Soon though, I hope.

Just wanted to say, I'm not dead. And I think the headaches are probably mostly due to the weather (finally, RAIN!) and horrible sinuses.. or however you would state that. My sinus cavity and the immediate vicinity ALWAYS bothers me. A L W A Y S

So... I'm hanging in there. Not moving too fast, and surely not getting much done. Which makes me really grumpy, which in turn kinda exacerbates the headachey stuff... so this is becoming an exercise in willpower for me. Willing myself to let it go. To accept the fact that, yep, my house is falling apart while it feels like my body is doing the same. But still and all.....

*sigh* Heh... I didn't say the exercise was going well, did I???

Blessed, peaceful weekend to you all!!

Posted by subject G~ at 08:45 AM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)

sheesh. this has got to stop!!!!!!

Posted by subject G~ at 10:43 AM | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBacks (0)

dat gived her headaches all da day long....

I ended up going to the chiro today. I just offhandedly mentioned to Jann, my friend in the chiro's office and she said, "Hmm, can you come in at 2pm?" and so I did. Doc said I was out of alignment which was sort of surprising since I hadn't really felt a whole lot of pain in my back/neck, but after that monsternasty migraine yesterday? Well, I knew SOMEthing had to be up.

So anyhow.. he adjusted me and of course, being the jughead that I am, I didn't think to bring my collar in.. the total-movement-restraint system that also serves as a dork-enhancement accessory.

I tell Doc I just need to stop at the bank and then to return some stuff at the healthfood store and the I was headed home. He fussed about using the drive-thru at the bank, so I parked and went in. See? I'm a nice compliant patient.

But when I got out of the vehicle to go into the food store? Um, habit overtook me and I automatically flicked my hair back off my face and

As soon as I finished what I had to in the food store, I headed straight back to chiro's to see if he had time to recheck me. I was hurting SO bad! It was hirlarious, well except for the pain, to see the faces they both made since they were both standing at the window where they could see me come through the outer door. Gah! LOL!

Anyhow, yep, I'd flicked myself right outta line again, so it's a good thing I was close enough to go get rechecked. He was able to take me right in, insisted I wear a loaner collar home and sent me on my way.

So anyhow.. today, FINALLY the pain has been a little better. It all depends on when you ask me. The pain literally comes and goes from minute to minute. On that "medical personnel preferred" painscale... it can go from an 8 to a 4 or vise versa in less than two minutes! That said, I have to tell you, the Horrid Nasticity Migraine Thingie is still hanging around. Juuuust beneath the surface kinda like if I move the wrong way, the Monster will come roaring to the top and rocking my little dingy. I try to be really still, so the Monster doesn't know I'm around, but it looks in my windows and torments me with "Nyah-nyah-nyahs" and throws rocks at my feeble little house.

So in the end, I'm not quite sure whether to post:

OR

Well, lemme just ask Lord please help my brain heal, and work better, be more humble and dwell more upon you. and now I don't have to worry about that anymore. ;)

Love ya lots! Gonna go rest for awhile now...

Posted by subject G~ at 08:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBacks (0)

*sigh*

Posted by subject G~ at 11:53 PM | Permalink | Comments (7) | TrackBacks (0)

Lemme see if I can coherently give you a quick rundown....

Thursday night 7/27:

• the Lindas all came over so Mr. Linda could look at the You-Know-What.
  
• both Corey and Casey had to go to work at around 9pm, so they left whilst the Lindas were still here
  
• then the Lindas left around 10pm or so just after Tommy sliced into his right thumb on purpose then threw the pocket knife with which he was doing the slicing almost stabbing Mr. Linda in the face. all the Lindas sped away as I threatened to beat Tommy with my massive purse if he didn't go to the ER.
  
• after we stopped the bleeding, I finally put Tommy to bed and settled down with the TV to wait on the boys again. don't like going to bed til they get home. thankfully, this time they get back around midnight! so we all hit the hay!

  Friday 7/28:
  

• the phone rings at about 5am. it's MIL calling to tell us that, guess what? FIL is back in the hospital again. okay, what now? they're not sure. pain from back to upper chest, etc., etc. he's in observation. we both head up to the hospital to see what the heck is going on again.
  
• I end up staying there til about 8pm just to keep MIL company (and from going bonkers, too)

  Saturday 7/29:
  

• we go to the Lindas' house for Mr. Z's 6th birthday party in the afternoon. i don't even remember what went on that morning... don't ask. we take Tucker with us. at around 4:30p or so, we decide that it's now or never for going to mow FIL's massive, ginormous, hulking yard/field grass-growth area. so we secure Mr. & Mrs. Linda's word that they won't kill our boy and leave Corey behind and off we go to mow... with two dinky mowers.
  
• by this point, I'm exhausted and Tommy's not doing much better either. so while he and Casey mow, I decide well, what the heck, I'll "tidy up a little". understatement. of. the. year. heh! ;)
  
• they mow and I chase body powder around and do laundry for almost five hours straight. yes, you read that right. the one mower runs out of gas. they use the other mower to go get more gas (from shed -- did I mention this is a 12 acre place?) for it, but then it runs out of gas, then it just stops running all together. and... there's not a drop more gas on the whole place. so we load up to get Corey and more gas.
  
• finally get back to FIL's and head straight on up into the back 40 since we have the jumper cables with us. Got first mower gassed up, then since it's dark and neither mower has headlights, we need Explorer for lightage. follow first mower way back into woods (where IL's keep a walking path mowed) to find non-running mower. Get it started and finally we start out, but it's dangerous in dark, even with SUV headlights. it's slow going.
  
• we finally make it back down to the shed to put up the one mower (other stores in a shed at top of hill) to find it all locked up... MIL has come home while we were up in woods. so we open it all back up and put up mower, then knock on door hoping she won't call 911. she doesn't.
  
• we finally head back home. Corey was fed sustinance at the Lindas but we had not eaten since cake at 2pm...and before that? um, nothing much. so Case, Tommy and I were pretty starved. (there wasn't much in IL's fridge, so we didn't even try to eat outta there) we stop at waffle house, eat then go home and fall into bed (after showers!) at around 1am. sheesh!

  Sunday 7/30:
  

• Tommy and Corey go to work around 7:30am to help Dad with that bad leaky mess job I mentioned in an earlier post. thankfully, they are home in plenty of time to watch our favorite church service. awesome service!!!
  
• sometime or other yesterday, they figure out that FIL's gallbladder is the culprit of his pain now. I am giving him hard way to go about making sure he sees to it they get all his rotting parts out this time. he laughs because he likes me.
  
• they're talking about doing the surgery on Monday when Tommy has to drive to Indiana for work and I have to be in Lex for a doctor's appointment. nice. see? FIL is always making trouble. (he's laughing)
  
• I have to go get groceries because I've been trying to get them for the past three days without success. I insist on going alone because the last two days of traveling around with the other male personages of my household has made me want to jump out of the vehicle while driving over the speed limit down very curvy roads. just ask them.
  
• but then I sitll have to rush because guess who has to go see guess who else again today after spending like 8 hours together the day before! what's with these teenage hooligans?!?!
  
• i don't remember anything else. my neck and shoulders hurt like heck.

  Monday 7/31:
  

• Tommy leaves at 6:45 for his trip. I leave at 8am. Mom goes with me, of course, so we stop at the hospital quickly before we leave. the doctor had already done the final test to confirm the gallbladder was the actual problem. nasty problem... causing infection in liver and blockage where it should empty into intestines. hence, the pain. ugh!
  
• it takes longer getting through my appointment, but somehow I don't mind. the final report was...

• my A1c reading was 6.7% which is fantabulous! target is under 7%, so whoo-hoo!
  
• average blood sugar was 143. my hard target is 130. target range is 100-160. cooool!!
  
• i have lost 8 pounds since I was there last (4 months), so 2 pounds/month woah! and I've lost 13 pounds since the beginning of the year.... without really trying other than just not eating when I'm not hungry... and then um... well, trying to not BE hungry as often as I can. heh

• i get reports during the day from MIL. FIL does great with his surgery and is up walking around by the time we get back into town and go up to the hospital to see him. they say he'll be released in the morning. PTL!

  Tuesday, 8/1
  

• went with Tommy to ear doc. he's been having trouble with his left ear for quite some time now. tried several different things, but nothing has helped, so...
  
• the audiologist did her tests after the dr. looked and could see no fluid. the tests show he has some low-tone nerve damage. I was ready to jump on my soapbox about all the unprotected exposure to guns and engines, etc... but doc stops me and says that this kind of damage is rarely produced by exposure to that kind of noise. more likely it could have been a virus or something like that. they ordered an MRI which he goes for next week to make sure there's nothing besides the nerve damage that they can't see.
  
• if it is nothing else, then his only option will be a hearing aid. doc seemed to try to 'assure' him he didn't need to think about it til it affected his daily life. we both looked at each other and said it does!
  
• doc says the new digital hearing aids are nothing at all like the old ones. much more adjustable and not like a simple amplifier... they can be adjusted to various tones, etc. but they aren't covered by insurance and run about 2K. ahhh, there's the rub. well, we'll manage it somehow. God will provide what he needs I'm sure.
  
• the entire time we were gone, his phone was beeping and buzzing and ringing. no wonder he's half loopy. I hate that thing. the man was off from 12pm on, and the phone never stopped. that just is NOT fair. gargh.

  So... there you have it. now I'm going to bed!

  Posted by subject G~ at 07:49 PM | Permalink | Comments (14) | TrackBacks (0)

I'm around... sorta. When I'm not sideways, or upside down... that is. And I'm checking in on the comments.

Things are a little wacko around here, but I hope to post an update soon.

Keep up the discussions!!!!

Love yas!!!!

Posted by subject G~ at 06:32 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

From this post where the whole topic of attending modern-day churches versus home church and the validity of the current model of "church" as it pertains to our ideal of it today.

If that made any sense. If it didn't, just get over it. You know what I'm trying to say....

I'd like to explore the topic a little more in depth. Some commenters mention encounters with hypocrits and I've had that experience myself...and I'm sure most all of us have. Others have fallen away from church attendance for other reasons, others are sporatic attenders, while a few others are faithful, regular church-goers.

I've been all of these at different points in my life. We've been hurt deeply and very personally by people in churches more than once... and not just "my" family-- hubby & kids...but when I was a child... I can remember a short time when we didn't go to the only church I'd ever known...the only church I ever belonged to up until a few years after I was married! Why? Because we weren't welcome. It was nasty, ugly and so petty. The usual. Some people wanted to do one thing, something that wasn't appropriate. My father objected, his being a deacon and all... so the feathers proceeded to fly and the stink proceeded to smell up the place. It was just easier to remove himself (and us, of course) than to continue going and being these people's excuse to act awful and ruin the services. :( anyhow.... we're no strangers to this kind of thing.

But.... the thing about this is... "the church", however we define that (which is something I need to study on!) is not about the congregation, it's not about the people. Is that shocking to you? Well, it's not. Or at least it's not supposed to be! It's supposed to be about worshipping Jesus Christ (and not just by singing repetitive "worship songs") and the uplifting of fellow Christians. Reaching the lost? Well, that's something too, but I believe it's merely a "side effect" of a truly effective church.

Now, I don't have scripture to back any of this up... if there even IS any to clearly show these things. I seriously doubt there is. Not that will *clearly show* ... and not that would ever satisfy some people, but I do believe by example that there is proof. And while we're just on what my thoughts about the modern church are... I don't "believe in" Sunday school, either.

I know it's there, LOL, it happens. All over, all the time. And it's emphasized SO much that you're made to feel like you are some kind of backslidden scum if you don't bring your children and yourself to Sunday school every week. I really despise that. The only thing my children ever got from Sunday school was... as toddlers: a sugar rush and Ch33to stained hands so they couldn't sit still in church (and I never used the nursery... maybe that was the idea there... hype them up so moms HAVE to take them to nursery?!?! I dunno...gah!) and as teens and preteens?: how it feels to be snubbed and a crash course in how to be smart-mouthed or snobbish.

Um...and this was from the pride and joy of the church.... not from the "bus kids". So the very reason for ever creating Sunday school in the first place... to teach unchurched children the basics about Christ and the Bible so they could understand the sermons, is beyond "undone"... their problematic lives are made worse because "those church kids" behave as bad or worse than they themselves do... so why do they need to know Jesus anyway?

*sigh and cry*

So... there you have a little insight into the things behind why I feel the way I do. I think the N3w T3stament churches were just what was needed. They were gatherings of fellow believers, of those who wanted to hear more about Jesus, of believers who needed encouragement, comfort and uplifting to get through the horrible times they were facing... Roman persecution, being hunted for merely being a follower of Jesus...

....just try to imagine that. Soldiers are hunting you, to kill you, in the most horrible ways... just because you believe in Jesus Christ!

And here we sit in our comfortable little pews with our airconditioned sanctuaries and prerecorded feel-good music, soft carpet and prayer benches to cushion our knees were we to ever, y'know, feel like bending them before The Almighty.. but it's much nicer to just sit on our self-righteous behinds in the squishy pews and bow our heads while we're thinking about how ugly Sister Shoeshow's shoes are, or just admiring your own... or about how you want to be sure you show Brother Suitentie your new Huumer with the built-in cooler for when you go to the football games....

We have NO worries. No real worries. We don't fear for our lives because we drove over to the church house Sunday morning. We don't have to sacrifice anything for Jesus anymore. Seldom. Not here in America, at least. I know in other countries, this is not true. Don't think I'm making a blanket statement. I just mean here, probably right in your neightborhood, right in your town... this is the situation.

I guess the jist of this particular post is that perhaps today the church as we know it, is more of a handicap. What do you think? It's like a crutch for many people. You go, you sit through the service without participating at all, you leave and then when you see Brother Butterman, you can say, "Hello there Brother! I saw you in church Sunday! Wasn't that a great sermon? You take care! See you next Sunday." and go on your way feeling completely satisfied that you're okay. You're just fine. Because you go to church after all.

Too many of us, and I include myself here at different times in my life, use this crutch. Just like I mentioned in that other post... there sits at least, at the veeeery least, two women I know are or very recently were living in adultery and as far as I know, have never repented of it... they sit in church, sit through sermons speaking directly to their situation and they're totally oblivious to it. We are oblivios to our condition.... if it is ever even touched on in a sermon....which is lots of times very unlikely.

*sigh* This stuff just makes me feel soooo discouraged.

I really would like some discussion on this. Just on how you feel the church, not necessarily "people"... the body of Christ, but the modern day church... the way that it functions today... how do you feel it is affecting society and believers today? Do you think it's functioning positively or negatively? In general... And if you're more positive about it because you are currently in a great church, share what it is that is so good about your church. What makes it work well. Also, if you disagree about anything here, please discuss that too.

I am really desperately looking for a dialog on this while I try to study for where I stand. As it is now? I just feel like I'm flapping in the breeze. I know how I believe about the faults of the modern church in general... and so... if I find that attendence is commanded then... what do I do? How can I sit in a church where I don't feel Jesus Christ is being done proper service?

*siiiigh*

Let's talk....

Posted by subject G~ at 12:44 PM | Permalink | Comments (29) | TrackBacks (0)

I just wanted to let ya'll know that things are... well, "a-goin'" around here.

The mess that Daddy, T and Corey worked on last Sunday? Dad got a call at around 5am Monday morning saying the offices were flooded. GAH! So much for sleeping in. (the plan was to wait til lunch to start work) Mom even ended up having to go help do some cleanup.

Thing is, it's not the place they worked on that caused this flood. It's a long complicated story, so I'll spare you (and me!) but it's obviously a big worry. Will they try to stick Dad with all the expenses? Will they try to sue him?! Will his insurance pay for it? Will they drop him?!?

Sheesh. So... he's in a pretty precarious mood. I just feel so bad for him. Tommy feels like he should have done some things differently. But on the other hand... the whole building is pretty old, and is one of those "add on over the years" kinda thing. Know what I mean? They've added a room here, a production line there, etc., etc. Each time, adding some water or drainage lines to existing stuff. Etc, etc., etc. BLAH!

To me, who hasn't even been there and knows next to nothing about such things, it would seem that even if you used some mega-mondo thingamabob (I'm trying not to divulge too many details here while still making a little sense... yeah... ) given that you had a larger water line (a much larger one) that surges back and forth, thus causing motion, etc.... even using a stronger coupling would not have helped because ... as demonstrated here... the line will pull apart somewhere else.

SHEESH!

But of course, if things go in the terlet, they are going to argue differently and try to blame this on Dad. Lord help us!

*sigh*

Okay... so much for fast.

Anyhow... they go again this Sunday to try again. Corey is taking TONS of pictures. (go, Corey!) and I swear, I'm thinking maybe they need to get some neutral party to come in at least for a minute to see what they're doing. y'know... like an inspector or something. just someone to say what they see. I dunno. I'm going nuts)

So far, seems Mom and Dad are dealing with the whole thing pretty well, but I know they're stressed. *sigh*

Okay, well, I'm off to mow the yard and see what else I can get done while I'm feeling like tackling some a-beggin' chores!

Ta-tah & have a great day!!

UPDATE: um... i had a motor vehicle accident. i wrecked the lawn mower. *growling at self* it's mom's fault. she flagged me down as i mowed the path between our houses, so i stopped to talk to her a second and as is her usual practice, she had stuff to give me. sheesh! she came out with a shirt on a hanger. "um... no, mom." okay, she tells me 'come back and get that later'. gee, thanks! then she runs in to get a bowl of mushmelon. *cantelope* for you city folk. heh. i thought, cool, i can do that.. and it'll sure taste good after mowin' is done... so up to the house i go at a pretty good clip... up the little hill where the telephone pole is... when the bowl slipped, and the wheel kicked ... and i almost got whiplash, broke my knee and threw out my back! put it big gash in the pole, but THANK GOD, it didn't tear up the mower! you don't know HOW thankful i was for that! i'll eventually, probably heal up, but that mower? it'd cost a fortune to get fixed! gah. anyhow...um, the day didn't end up being so productive as i'd hoped... but at least i didn't die. and the mower still works. *whew*

Posted by subject G~ at 09:11 AM | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBacks (0)

I'll be there...

I might not be worth very much, but Lord willing and the creek don't rise... I'll be there.

Well... that's not quite as true as it used to be. Some days I don't feel like getting out of the bed. Thank God that's not as often as it used to be, but sheesh... when it IS that a-way... man! it's REALLY that a-way!! Ugh!

Today has been gorgeous weather. Just beautiful. Nice milder temps. Lower humidity. Ahhh. I wasn't out a whole lot. Just for a few minutes here and there.

Tommy and Corey left to help Daddy work this morning at 8am. :( He had two different jobs that required going in when the plant or offices were shut down or empty. You can imagine what kind of shape Dad's been in this past week with just him and Corey working. FIL should be able to come back, according to what he says the doc told him, next week!!! I dunno if he's supposed to be restricted then, but looks like surely he would be. I dunno for sure yet. Anyhow... FIL is a hard worker and he's been able to put up with Daddy's moods and mouth longer than most anybody else. But.. he's cost Dad a whole lot to keep working, too. I guess anyone else would have fired FIL way back for a few of the things he's done. I won't go into them out fo respect.

I do care for FIL, even though he can do some really dumbhead things sometimes. At least he tries. At least he's real. MIL? You can't ever get close to her. I think the only time you see the real her is when she's all panicky like she was in the hospital or when she's mad enough to show it. I think that's the only time she's real. I know she's had a lot of bad things in her life. She had a bad home life and still has to deal with it, or chooses to still deal with her family. I don't know which it is. So I try not to judge too harshly, even though... well, there have been some bad things between us. Not so much me personally, but with Tommy or the kids. Just mostly thoughtless or hurtful things, that have made deep impressions in the memory, ya know? But anyhow... ours is a strange kinda family, but for the most part, it works.

When something goes wrong, when help is needed... we're there for each other. I don't know how many times FIL has loaned or given us money for various things. Or has come over and helped us work at the house... he helped pour the patio for nothing more in return than an endless supply of iced tea and some sandwiches for lunch. He helped us finish painting... just because that's what we were doing when he stopped by. He's always doing stuff like that. And I appreciate it.

So... it was just me and Case at home today. We watched our favorite Kentucky preacher on tv. Oh, how I would love to live close enough to hear him in person every week!! We didn't try to go to church. We haven't been to our home church in so long it would have been awkward going without the others. And the church close by that we've been going to (because we have been so late getting ready lately... we just stop there) is not really a church we'd join... but many people we know or are related to, go there and are beginning to get ideas about us... I'm just not really comfortable at all. Oh, and it's the church that FIL and MIL belong to. It might have been nice to speak to the pastor if we'd gotten to see him. It's a big, "uptown" type church where lots of bankers and lawyers and doctors go. The sermons are normally pretty good... they just tend to 'stop short' somehow. I don't know how to explain it. They just don't "go the distance". They don't "drive the message home." Maybe you understand what I'm trying to say....

I just find it hard to attend there let alone even think about joining because I know for a fact that there are women & men who are living in adultery teaching children's Sunday school!! A classmate of mine sits across the aisle from me with her umpteenth 'boyfriend' after her divorce and living with at least one man (that we know personally) for over three years... after that I know she's dated around quite a lot. And she'll sit there and play whatever with her poor little kid never paying an iota of attention to the sermon she so desperately needs to hear.

*siiigh* Okay... I'm going to have to create a category for posts that really don't have a main topic.... which would be MOST of my posts. Gah. I get sick of myself. Sheesh.

Okay...anyhow, the guys finally got home about 9:30pm or so. :( Long, long day. They did get the work done at least. PTL! Hopefully, tomorrow won't be too rough either. And Lord willing? I can get a lot of stuff done around here!!

Have a blessed Lord's Day!

Posted by subject G~ at 11:59 AM | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBacks (0)

At least nobody died.

There's just something about July 19. Something that makes people want to get sick, injured or um...well, check out!

Tommy's gramma passed away on our anniversary a couple of years ago. A couple years before that is when he pulled his grand doozie and broke his collar bone. But we won't talk about that now, WILL WE?????? And then here we are... yet another two years later... with Tommy's father in ICU after the appendicitis episode.

*sigh* I don't know what it is about those people. Sheesh.

So anyhow...more stuff went on after that last post. I mean, of course it couldn't just be like a simple appendectomy, doncha know?

After that surgery was over and all seemed well with the world, he started feeling ill... his blood pressure dropped slightly, then he started throwing up blood.

Hmm... not a good sign. Of course THEN his bp dropped hugely!! Tommy had gone back to work by then, so I got the call from the hospital lady telling me that This is MM Medical Center...Is Tommy there? I'm like um, NO...what's going on? So, she explains to me that FIL is having a little trouble and MIL is a little upset and wants him to come.

I told her I'd get in touch with Tommy if I could and if not, I'd be up there myself.

Ya'll can't imagine how freaked out MIL gets over stuff. *sigh* I knew if SOMEbody didn't get up there to do Outburst Control, someone could possibly be calling security on her.

Seriously...

But more on that later....

I got hold of Tommy, so he headed up there, and I hurried to swab off the sweat and dog hairs (I'd been weeding and brushing a very hairy, shedding dog! Urgh!) and pull my sweaty hair into a ponytail and Casey and I just hurried up there too.

When I walked into the Obseravation area, he looked like a little white lumpy pile. He was in really bad shape. Turns out he was hemorraging and they were going to take him back into surgery.

And yeah...MIL was in Freak-Out City.... matter of fact, there was talk of electing her as mayor, I think.

MIL has always been this way, but in years past, I didn't have to deal with it so much. But now with so many things happening with FIL, who can usually keep her calmed down???? Ya see?? Well, it's been a whole different ballgame, but I'm finally learning to quit tiptoe-ing around her about how she's behaving.

She doesn't seem to be able to help it in one way...I mean, it seems to be her nature to just immediately start all this I'm so AFRAID *bawl with head in hands* If he dies, I don't want to live!! *bawls louder* I don't know what I'll do if he dies! *voice getting higher & shakier* She just works herself up into this frenzied state and she'll get mad if you try to stop her. She'll ask you questions geared to feed her panic fire and if you try to put water on it? She will get this look as if you've betrayed her and she'll start bawling again...

I'm telling you. She's about impossible!!!

Anyhow... their pastor was there, and I really like him. At that time, after they'd just taken him for the second surgery and she was working her way up to a full-on fit, my dad, both the boys, Tommy and I were all there, too. We'd been trying to y'know...comfort her with analogies of how God takes care of things and we're not supposed to worry. How that no matter what, God is in control and whatever happens, it's all in His hands and it's all in our best interest because God never does anything that is not for our good, even if it doesn't seem that way at the time.

So Preacher walks up (he's a big ol' country fella) and she's started that bawling and wailing again. He says it's going to be alright. She answers with wails of BUT I'M SO AFRAID!!! And he says Mm-hmm...and there you sit, a-sinnin'.

*gasp* (and snicker, too!!)

She looked up with her mouth wide open and then frowned and told him she didn't wanna hear that! (see? I told you she'd turn on you if you didn't feed her pity fire!) So he said, That may be, but I'd be doing wrong if I didn't tell you so.

And he just stood there, smiling. I coulda kissed him. ;)

Later, after one of the nurses had run out to say he was doing really good in surgery, MIL calmed down a little. I pulled her off to herself and talked to her head.

I asked her What good does it do when you do that? Does it make FIL feel any better? Whether he knows you're carrying on like that or not? NO. Does it make YOU feel any better? NO. How about God? Does it show Him that you're trusting Him? Um, NO. Now, I know that your family all reacts to things in a similar way. They like to jump to the worst case senerio and make a mountain out of a mole hill. And I KNOW, over much smaller things than a surgery!! I know that.
But you have to work on quitting that. It's not good for you. You need to start recognizing when you're getting on that 'track' and stop yourself. ......

Anyhow...she agreed, etc. But that's how she usually is, too. She'll be all apologetic about how she acted after it's all over. Then she'll do the same thing again. It just freaks ME out. I just can't quite handle someone carrying on like that. Makes me wanna just smack her sometimes, ya know? Like in the movies.... Snap out of it!!!

*sigh* So FIL came through surgery #2 very well. They'd given him so much blood that the bleeding had stopped before they even opened him up (he takes a couple of blood thinning meds, thus the bleeding, so...med-free blood helped stop bleeding) They cleaned out the hemorrage mess and reglued all the previous incisions and closed him back up.

He's been doing really well ever since. Tommy's stayed the past two nights in ICU with him while his mom went home to sleep. I have been going during the day for several hours, just to give her a break to go eat or whatever.

Going to MM Med Center? You need someone in the room to watch out for you.... If you're not mobile enough to get up and leave or whatever? You need to have someone there to take care of you or ask questions or chase down a nurse/doctor or who knows!!! *sigh* It's just not a good idea to be up there alone, okay?

We're hoping they'll move him to a regular room today and maybe let him go home tomorrow. That man bounces back from this kinda stuff quicker than anyone I've ever seen!! Pr0st@te c@ncer/surgeries, heart @tt@ck/surgery.... He just keeps on ticking.... amazing.

So anyhow...um, there was no anniversary celebration. The evening of the 18th, I stayed at the hospital til about 1:30 the next morning... I went home and left Tommy there with his dad. When I got up that morning, the 19th, I got dressed and headed back to the hospital but Tommy had already gone. He'd had to stop by work to take care of some stuff (of course *grrr*) So I didn't see him til like 4pm... he was still sleeping and I was exhausted, so I piled into bed and we slept til about 6pm. We got up, I rustled up some supper, we ate, talked to Corey, who hadn't been home from work very long, poor baby, and went back to the hospital. I stayed til about 11pm, and Tommy spent the night up there again.

So there you go. Another lovely anniversary marked by memories of the hospital ER.

Gah.

Posted by subject G~ at 08:54 AM | Permalink | Comments (7) | TrackBacks (0)

I wanna thank everyone for their encouraging comments and prayers with regard to this post.

If you read the previous post, you might realize I've been a bit moody. Auntie has taken her sweet time getting here this month for some reason. I guess she's been busy hassling some other poor soul and it made her late for her appointment with me.

One would think maybe that'd be a good thing as maybe it'd mean she's all tired out, right? Well, so far, um. NO. That's not been the case. Matter of fact, she's been unusually grouchy and demanding. I'm ready to toss her out on her nasty, hateful behind right now....and she just showed up yesterday! Sheesh!

So...anyhow, it's pretty obvious that the post referenced above was a little hormone-driven. Even though, yes, I admit...all the stuff I wrote about is happening. We are going through a really bumpy stretch right now.

But it's not like we've never seen a gravel road before, ya know? It's just that this has been one of those very long bumpy roads with lots of pot holes and overgrown trees hanging down to block the view ahead. One of those roads that, perhaps on a cool, carefree afternoon, maybe on horserback, would be an enjoyable ride...but in a frantic, stressed dash in a 10yo SUV? Um, it's not a nice ride at all. Heh.

Anyway....I just wanted to let you know, I appreciate the prayers and the concern. I just love you guys for being there for me this way. I really don't have another soul on earth that I can share this with so it makes me very grateful for my internet friends. You can't imagine how thankful I am for you all.

Tommy had to go up to the hospital early this morning to be with his mom while his dad was taken into surgery. He'd been up there all night and finally got a diagnosis of appendicitis. He came through fine, there was no rupture which was miraculous considering how much inflammation there was. Anyhow, T came home a bit ago to change for work. He asked me what we were going to do for tomorrow.

I have absolutely no clue. I never have any say so in that kind of thing, ya know? I just have no clue. We really aren't gonna have the funds (I don't think) for a night away...and really...going out to eat just doesn't sound appealing to me, at least not right now, at all....so what does one do? Maybe I'll see if there's anything decent on at the movies? I can't think of ANYthing.

Mostly, I guess, cuz I'm not feeling up to anything today. Flo's a real bear, ya know? I'm light-headed every time I stand up or move around, etc., etc.... I think we have agreed to put off any "celebration" until the weekend, so maybe I'll feel better and can come up with something decent to do by then...but with limited funds AND limited entertainment choices around here....??? I just dunno. I've been so out of the "go do something" mood for so long...I have NO CLUE!!! Is that not saaad?!?! *sigh*

Okay...so you're updated now. LOL!

I gotta go. Need to go pull some weeds from around my sunflowers so they don't get cut down with a weedeater! Then? Maybe I'll go sit by the pool while Case swims. Maybe. ?? We'll see.

Love yas....

Posted by subject G~ at 01:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)

time: late afternoon

setting: after Mother has gotten me out of bed for a long, hot day of errand-running, she's dropping me off at my house and she mentions feeling very tired and I say...

So do I!!

Mother, with hyper-concerned tone- You too?? I thought you were feeling better.

Me, with my calm-down-it's-nothing-to-freak-out-about tone- Yeah, I had been. I think it's just because Aunt Flo(w) is coming.

Mother, with wide-eyes and panicked tone- Aunt Flo's coming? Is she going to stay with you?

Me, not knowing if she's kidding or not- Um...yeah. For a little while.

Mother, obviously wondering why I don't have my house in better shape for company [and she's NOT kidding]- When is she coming?

Me, getting way too tickled at Mom now- I'm not sure. But she's due any day now.

Mother, incredulous- You don't know for sure when she'll be here?!?!? Is it Fred's sister or one of Lola's sisters? (FIL & MIL)

Me, feeling it's just too much to take now- Mother...Aunt Flow...F-L-O-W...y'know...that time of the month...fatigue, cramps...YOU KNOW!!!????

Mother, flustered and a little embarrassed- Oh good grief! I've never even heard such a thing before! *slight chuckling* Go away!

Sheesh. This older generation. What will they not think of next?

Posted by subject G~ at 10:39 AM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

Okay, people. You'll realize once I get on with this post that I've obviously been thinking about the topic for quite some time. I wasn't sure I'd post about it, though.

But I've decided I will. Why? Well, I'm not yet sure about that part. I've debated about whether posting my thoughts here would be
1) embarrassing to myself or
2) embarrassing to my husband or
3) make him angry instead or
4) be discouraging to anyone who knows me as a Christion (which I'd hope is everyone, but *sigh*...) or
5) all of the above.

The more I thought on it though...the more I thought it might instead be an encouragment. If nothing else, it would be an example for pointing to and saying See? I don't have it so bad! Ha! ;) or It's not just us...everyone has problems.

Anyhow, the topic? Marriage. My marriage, to be exact.

Our 21st anniversary will be here in two days. Yep. Two days. It's weird how that doesn't seem possible. I mean, 20 seemed like such a monumental accomplishment (by the grace of God!) and it's not that we're all like Oh, has it really been 21 years?! Um no. We're more like Are you sure it isn't like 81? Check the date again...

*sigh*

Maybe it's just the stage of life we're in now, but it seems every single day it becomes more obvious how little we have in common. It seems the kids and the mortgage are the only common threads that connect us to each other anymore.

Sounds dismal, eh?

I could go into a big tirade of all the long-standing disagreements we've had over the past two decades. I could recount for you the defining moments when I didn't think we were going to make it through. All the ways I feel he's abandoned me....and maybe times I've made him feel that way too. *sigh*

After all this time? It's just a literal pile of crap. Unresolved issues that, when brought up in an effort to finally resolve them...well, let's just say they n-e-v-e-r get resolved.

So anyway...it seems like perhaps maybe in the past week or so that he might be showing a little interest in trying to figure things out and make them better before it's just me and him left here with nothing to talk about. It's so hard not to just blow that off because he's like that...really gung ho about something for a day or two, then nothing.

As it stands, I just feel really sick over how we've failed at our duty to our kids, to our family, let alone to each other. I've always felt like I tried "more" to make things work. I'm not sure how Tommy feels about that, but it's my take on how it's been. I suspect he may agree. He's spent a lot of time working, very hard and very long, but all that amounted to was a lot of time away from home. As a young wife, it was hard not to be angry that he didn't spend or "want to" spend that time with me. And then there were the ideas that got planted by others...maybe he wasn't where he said he was....etc., etc. None of which was true, of course, but when you're young...ya know.

*sigh*

I just wish we'd both had better training to be a married couple, ya know? I wish we'd understood what was really important, how to communicate effectively with each other. I wish we'd been mature enough, not necessarily in age, but emotionally and spiritually, to build a stronger marriage.

Ah well...but perhaps God has had another plan in mind all along. I'm finding it hard to reach Him these days too. There are moments when I can pray earnestly for this situation, for the boys and others in my life....but then there are times I just feel there's nothing in me to reach with. Can anyone relate to that?

I know God isn't very pleased with the way we've been living our lives. Not that we're boozin' and doin' drugs now, but we're not at all where we should be with Him...we've allowed Him to be pushed to the outskirts of our lives from the center, where is His rightful place. Pushed out by worries, anger, hateful actions of others, etc., etc.

But I also know He is a forgiving God. I'm trying so hard to get back under His wing where I belong. I think Tommy might be trying too, in his own way. I pray that he is, anyway.

So....I ask that you would pray for us when it comes to your mind, please. We need emotional and spiritual healing. It seems to me everywhere I turn, there's hurt...in my marriage, bitterness from my kids (maybe? can't tell WHAT it is?!), anger at myself, deep wounds from people in churches who've tried (and succeeded somewhat) to cause division in our marriage..... We just need to heal.

So if you think of it, or when you think of me, please lift us up and know I thank God for you all everytime I think of you.

Thanks.

Posted by subject G~ at 03:03 PM | Permalink | Comments (6) | TrackBacks (0)

That's what we call it when we're studying (thinking) on something. When we're (country folkses) trying to figure out the best course of action, etc.

*sigh*

I haven't really talked this out with anyone and it's been bugging me A LOT.

I'll try not to be too confusing, but once you get the jist of what went on, you'll understand why I might be a little um...excited, to put it mildly, VERY MILDLY, and a little hard to follow.

Okay...*deep breath* I had made Casey an appointment for last Thursday to get a checkup. Tommy had had an earache for over two weeks (dumbhead!) and finally decided it wasn't going to just go away...he called telling me it was killing him the afternoon before, so I called the office and they said just bring him in on Casey's appointment.

*whew*

The things God uses for good, huh? I'm SO thankful that Tommy was there, too. That way I wasn't the only one to witness the shameful, shocking, awful behavior.

So in we go. Case and I met Tommy up there and we all went back to the exam room together, which is how we usually do things. And in comes Dr. K. He asks what's wrong with Casey. Nothing, we tell him, he just hadn't had a checkup in a long time and I thought it was a good idea for him to have one.

*sigh*

Then the bad stuff begins. Doc starts asking him the apparently "usual" checkup questions..."Do you smoke or use dip? Do any kinda drugs or alcohol?" Case is all like *hmph! "Nooo, noooo." with this *duh!!* tone of voice, ya know? THEN? Then Doc says, "Are ya havin' sex?"

*falls on floor*

I swear, people. I was dumbstruck. I remember Tommy and I looking at each other, but there was more talking going on so we didn't even have time to assimilate THAT shock til he went on with M - O - R - E ! ! !

*screams!!!*

Doc then lays THIS li'l tidbit of wisdom on my poor child:

Lord help me, folks. I thought I'd pass on right then and there. I don't know WHAT was wrong with me!!! The only excuse I have is that I was SO SHOCKED that I couldn't get my mouth and brain in gear enough to blast him, or at least yank Case off the table and walk out.

*scream some more*

Doc makes positively sure that Case know what a condom is. Then repeats how important the wearing of one is and then tells him that "Because it's going to happen, maybe not right now, or next year but it will happen and you have to be smart."

NOW---Let me lay a little background info on you... Doc? He got married the week before my sister did. So he's been married a little over three months, uhkay? And I guess his baby is about 2 months old or so.

*cocks jaw, raises eyebrow and looks in your eyes*

I have never judged him OR his wife who is a nurse in his office. I never said anything ugly to either of them.

But I'll be danged if he's gonna sit there and try to prep my THIRTEEN YEAR OLD son to avoid the mistake his THIRTY YEAR OLD self, medical doctor self no less, wasn't moral enough, not to mention smart enough to avoid himself.

AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!

So...I'm now trying to get myself in letter-writing mode. That's what we decided would be the best thing. Just write a letter letting him know how offended we are by how he talked to our son, etc., etc.

I just dread it I guess. But it needs doing. Somehow, the Wordtiger in me is deeply sedated and I can't work up a lather enough to shoot out some fiery words that will let him know I mean business.

*sigh*

I'm just losing it altogether. Wah.

Anyhow...there's that trauma. If you have any suggestions, let me know. I need all the help I can get.

~hugs~

Posted by subject G~ at 02:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

*whew!*

Finally! The coughing had decreased muchly and my head is slowly emptying itself of all the gooey sludge that was trying to push out my eye sockets!

Sorry for being so graphic, but dudes! That's how it felt!! OUCH!

Okay...lemme give you a little background info here...Doc O, the Chiro, has been telling me to make an appointment with his mother (how freaky! LOL!) who is an RN with all this training in natural healing. She can do all these blood and urine tests to see what's going on with your body, then I guess she "prescribes" you all kinda vitamins and veggies. *shrugs* I dunno about that part.

But the woman is a good hour away and that's NOT interstate driving either! GAH! He says that all the muscle tightness must be something systemic. BUT...my neck IS holding...or staying in place. He hasn't had to use the adjustor on me in over two weeks, which considering he was doing it twice a week for awhile, is excellent!

Ya know those tables they use? With the face hole so you can lie flat on your stomach? Well, when I first started going to him, I could "lie flat" on that table and my right shoulder didn't touch. No matter how hard I tried to "relax" it, it would never touch the table. Ever.

Last week though? The right shoulder laid flat on the table like a normal shoulder should! Now...whaddaya think about that?! I was tickled about it and pointed it out to Doc. He didn't seem so enthused. *puzzlement*

Anyhow, so now, from Tuesday til now (he's cut me down to once a week since I'm "holding" adjustment") my neck and shoulders are definitely better. IF, that is, it's not just because I've been so miserable with the cold that I was too focused on that, ya know? But SURELY not!! They're still stiff, but NOTHING like before. And I've noticed some other things that really seem to me like proof that I'm getting better!

....H o w e v e r ....now my lower back IS KILLING MEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I dunno why. It's like someone hit me there or I've tried to heft something rEAlly heavy...but no one did and I haven't. So what the poo gives?!?!

*sigh*

Ah well...we'll see what he says about all this when I go back Wednesday.

Today, I'm going to take the dogs along with Mom's dog to get rabies shots. I guess I'll take along our new kitty cat.

We didn't go investigate. It was late, we knew better than to go stray kitty hunting in the pitch black so we went to bed. Next morning, we found it all stretched out on the front porch swing (where she is in the photo above) just like she owned the place.

*siiigh* Casey fell in love first thing. He's always loved kittens. I spied him at one point laying on the swing with that cat on his chest and it was all curled up trying to snuggle up under his chin and he was just laughing and smiling. I haven't seen that out of him in AGES. 8 ^ | Maybe a kitty is just what he needs to forget trying to be a "cool dude" who never smiles or laughs? Hmmm...

Well, since Tommy is working ON HIS DAY OFF....(GROWLING AND SNARLING FIERCELY!!!!!!!!!!!) I need to see what I can get done to lower the nasticity level of my house. I started on the kitchen and have made a little headway. Got a bit tired and ended up here. *tsk, tsk* Not a good idea, Geannie!

I wish you all a happy and safe Independence Day!!! May God bless America again.

Posted by subject G~ at 11:08 AM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)

I am. Even though my head feels like it might burst wide open any second and my throat is all sore and scratchy and my lung feel like a big hairy ape is sitting on my chest.....

...at least it's not the puke & poop.

Praise the Lord it's not that.

*sigh* But how long will this round of hacking and barking and headachy days go on? Gah!

I'm taking Case for a check up (before soccer season) on Thursday. I think, unless I'm a lot better, I'll just have the nurse pull my chart too! Wah.

It's a hot, muggy day here. Fireworks are scheduled for tonight. Corey's patroling the pre-boom festivities right now and Case went up with him. Tommy's out on a nasty pager call. He blurted out something about a burned out pump and the electrical wizard dude who takes care of that stuff is on vacation, blah, blah, whimper.

I think he was a bit panicked. I hope he can take care of it. I hope he can get home before dark. He's worked a lot of overtime the last few days. At least he'll be off Monday and Tuesday. MAYBE. Barring anymore water-related mishaps or emergencies around here.

We had so much planned to do with all this off time. (he was SUPPOSED to be off from Friday through Tuesday) Pressure wash the siding; shingle the shop building (finally); he was going to cut Chubs' dog lot in half, which would require lots of metal cutting and welding (but would free up some yard space!); pull up a large dead pine in the front yard; maybe even get the kitchen painted.

But no. *siiiigh*

I guess God had this down as "sick and overtime" week for us. lol!

Oh well....it's not like we were planning some big shindig. I've felt yucky long enough to have NOT been planning anything! That's kinda strange to think of that as a good thing, but really ... it is. I'd have been all upset had we been planning to have a cookout and then I got sick.

As it stands now, I think this is just some nasty summertime cold.

Happy Weekend to ya'll!!

Posted by subject G~ at 05:47 PM | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBacks (0)

So...about that mixing of paint...

=============
Remember when we painted the family room? That wall down the center? That runs into the kitchen, that doesn't have a breaking point upon which to stop with one color and start with another? Which means that center wall has to be the same color in both rooms? Even if one is a nice creamy color and the other is a strange green?

Well, I had planned all along to SOMETIME just do the entire kitchen with the creamy color. I have a chair rail height wallpaper border with clapboard-style paper underneath right now. Well, I always have had that kinda setup, just with different styles. After The Horrid Pink (which, yeah, I admit to loving at the time *sigh*) with a roses border, I went to This Green with a strawberries and blossoms on white lattice border and white clapboard with green shadowing beneath.

The reason I picked the color green that I did is because Mom offered to buy the paint for the kitchen. I was TRYING to pick paint that would match the rose border!!!! I didn't KNOW she was gonna turn around AFTER THE FACT and wanna buy new border too. GAAAH!

Anyhow...it is a very odd color green...it works okay, but I would never really choose it on its own mertis, ya know? Even me, the green lover that I am. This just isn't my kinda green. Too teal and bold to suit me, I guess.

Okay...so now Mom's bought me this border (you'll see in a sec). She EVEN let me pick it out! *GASP!* So I'M buying the paint, the top will be the same creamy color and below the gorgeous border will be another color instead of more paper.

This is what I'd started to put into another post....
=============

The house is looking pretty awful what with everyone sick. I had, for some unknown reason, decided to see how easy it'd be to tear off the chair rail border and wallpaper beneath it in my kitchen, so I spied a loose spot and....well, .....I tore it. Thankfully, it was a small and contained area of wall. But sadly, it's the first thing you see as you come in the door. So now, beneath my cool newish cream paint is this awful pink color. That's the color I painted the kitchen and family room when we first moved up here almost 12 years ago!!! It was the medium rose color in the border I used then...heavens, I can't believe I ever painted ANYTHING that color!

*shrugs* Oh well...that was then, right? Urgh.

Anyhows...now the plan is this...

That's just a PSP rendition of how it's SUPPOSED to look...although, the yellow paint isn't quite that bold, I don't think. It was hard to get the colors just right...but once I get the small section done, I'll post an ACTUAL pic, okay??

Lord willing, I'll start to feel a bit more energetic. The past couple of days, I just feel like a slug. SO TIRED!!!

Have a good day, ya'll...

Posted by subject G~ at 01:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBacks (0)

...what I wouldn't give for one RIGHT NOW!!

Man, these tired spells hit me so suddenly these days.

And HARD!!!

Have a great weekend, ya'll...oh, and Happy Father's Day!

Posted by subject G~ at 03:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBacks (0)

Seriously.

Where DOES it go?! Y'know, when I was a kid, I remember people stopping my mom in town or something and declaring My, but they've grown so much! Where does the time go? (they being me and my sis) Back then, I just thought it was all stupid and wanted to get the whole ordeal overwith asap!

But now? I AM THEM! Wandering around, looking at kids who it seems just yesterday were in diapers and slobber bibs...and now they're grown!! WHERE DID THE TIME GO!?!?

What's more preposterous is that I'm not the career woman who was busy working and didn't notice. I'm the SAHM who was at the grocery every week, who was making play dates and meeting at the library for reading circle. HOW DID I MISS IT?!?!

Well, to be totally fair to myself and honest with you, I wasn't that mom (as referenced above) so much with my second child as I was with my first. With Casey, I was sick. A LOT. And after I was done being sick, there was a long hard recovery, so I was definitely NOT the go-here-and-there mom during that time. But by the time Casey was about 5, we'd met Karen and her three boys and were back to doing things like that again. Trail hiking, campground programs, swimming at the lake, paintball games (not us, but taking the boys to!) yadda, yadda....

WHERE DID THE TIME GO?!?!

Karen was here for a bit yesterday evening and we got to talking about all the fun stuff we used to do with the kids "back in the day".... Once we took them all to the lake to swim. We were going to a place where you had to walk way down to get to the shore, past a picnic area a little ways back in the woods.

There was a solitary car in the lot when we got there in the middle of the day, in the middle of the week. Neither one of us thought much of it. We figured some people had been fishing and for whatever reason, they left one car behind. *shrugs*

We passed a 20-something fella at the picnic tables as we headed deeper into the woods and on down the steep hillside. Why? Well, to swim in this waterhole, of course!

At the time, we kinda got uneasy, but not enough to turn back. The boys had a blast that day. They found a huge log, they did. And they rode it and threw each other off of it and let one wrap himself around the middle of it while the others spun him around.... you've never seen five kids have so much fun with a piece of naturally-occurring dead wood. :)

Then there were all the trips to the nursing home doing all those hilarious and fun skits. Of course, Karen and I had to help with the refining of the things or else they'd be 8 hours long in some cases or they'd be nothing but a series of cardboard sword fights, which tended to disturb the residents. We made costumes, posterboard campfires, pirate costumes, pilgrim and Indian costumes, we made beaded candy canes and attached Bible verses, construction paper flowers with pompom faces, paper windmills, etc, etc, etc... to give to the residents.

And there are a million other times when they all just goofed off a either our house or theirs. I guess that's why Karen's split affected not just her boys, but mine as well, y'know? Their best friends, for the most part, have become people they don't know. People they can't relate to.

*sigh* Great. Now I'm not only melancholy. I'm sad.

Um...well, anyhow, whatever the point of this post was supposed to be....I just feel a little overwhelmed with how fast life it flying past me right now.

Corey has the opportunity to take a class or course at the @mbul@nce service as prep to take the state boards. The cost for the course is $450, but as a cadet, he can take it free. It seems like an awfully good opportunity and I feel like he should jump at it even though he's not really leaning towards a career in that field anymore.

The course will span 6 months from July thru February, two nights a week, four hours a night. To me it seems like something he should persue, but I think he's torn on whether or not to do it.

Actually he's torn about a lot of things these days. What career does he wanna persue? And perhaps, How is he going to get all his credits finished by the end of the year while still saving up the money needed to do what he really wants to his car? And what after that? If he goes to college approximately 50 miles away, how will he work, where will he live? WAIL!!!

See? He's really stressing out about this stuff. Um....heh. *weak grin*

Okay! Gah! I have GOT to go get something done around here today. Been to the chiro this morning and he had to adjust me again. It always makes me feel so wiped out, but enough laying around here! Got TONS to do!!

The Sty awaits! Guh.

Blessings~~

Posted by subject G~ at 02:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (15) | TrackBacks (0)

Here is that famous Bird House That Casey Built. Did I not TELL you it was stunning? :)

These babies are blooming in a pot on my front porch. I just love this color combination!

This is the Barn Swallow nest on the eave of our front porch. I couldn't get a shot of Mama Swallow sitting the nest...but we see her up there lots. :)

There's a story behind this shot....
I was all poised to shoot a pic of another Goldie sitting in this very spot when this little stinker swoops down and knocks him off!! So he's sitting here looking down going, "Ha, ha, ha!! Got you, suckah!" LOL!!!

These are my dahliah (which has now been set out in the shrubbery) and petunias.

Here is my li'l boy, standing guard over my Knock-Out rose. He's listening for flower foulers! Heh.

This is our backyard bird station. Yep, that's Chubby's house back there.

These are the flowers I could never find online. They are NOT full-sun flowers, that is for certain! But I DID find some just like them WITH a card at L0w<'s the other day...which confirmed as much...but I forget the name!
Do YOU know it?

This is a closer shot of the dahlia still in the pot.

Here's an updated pic of the patio, almost a year later! So, does it look any better? ;) Notice the shrubs in the background. They're from a job Dad had where he had to dig them up to put in a wall or something. So -- woo-hoo!!! -- I got me some free shrubbery!! Yay!

This is a recent shot of Casey. I'm trying to get a good "headshot" of him to send to Who's Who Among Middle School Students...yeah, he was invited and accepted! Whodda thunk it? ;) Not sure I'll use this one though. He looks kinda like he's up to somthin'... LOL!

Here's a recent one of Corey, too. Proof postive he can tie his own shoes!! :)

Here's Casey cutting the wood to fix a broken step to the fort out back. He's using a square here.

Here? Yep...he's using a power saw.

This is my Chubsy, The Sweet. :)

THIS, is the table Tommy made for me!! From an antique metal C@rn@tion milk can and scraps from our wood flooring in the house! Awesome, huh?

A shot showing the top and shape of the table. My honey is a real woodworking craftsman when he takes a notion!

The table hasn't been sanded and sealed yet, but this is a close-up of the oak grain.

This is a pic of Sis, during the wedding ceremony. Doesn't she look happy, though? *sigh* :)

Here's the first shot taken after the ceremony when BIL's mother hurried up to be in the shot. I thought she was going to knock me over! LOL!

And here's a shot of the couple with BIL's mother outside after the ceremony. You can deduce for yourself the sentiments of the photo's subjects. Hee, hee.

That's all I've got for now, folks.

Things are kinda nuts around here. The Explorer is giving us trouble again, but Lord willing, it could be fixed now. Time will tell, but pray!

I've been shopping for used school books for the past week or two. What a headache!! I've been looking on about three different boards and eB@y, so it's been a bit difficult to keep up with it all! But I've found s few really good deals. I've been hunting for mostly math stuff. The next level of algebra for Corey and had to get a newer edition of math for Case so I could get the cd-rom (like a virtual tutor that goes along w/each lesson) to go with. Gah. The edition I had was so old, they didn't make a cd-rom for it. Poo. I also found the cd-rom for the chemistry book I have and the next level of algebra after the one I just bought for Corey. Gah!

After it's all said and done, I'll have spent a little over $300 on all this (I didn't even mention the college prep, term paper and SAT books, the language arts and spelling books I've bought besides all the math stuff) But really, it's not so bad for all that I'm getting, so I'm satisfied....but BOY! has it been a lot of work! But finally, I've gotten all the money orders and checks sent, all the p@yp@l's sent and contact with all sellers made. and all the tracking numbers recieved. WHEW!!

Now...I'm just sitting back and waiting for the packages to start rolling in...oh, and trying to wean myself off the curriculum boards!! WAH!

Doc O took new xrays and is now doing a little different adjustments on my neck. It must be working because my neck was actually holding this last ltime...for the first time in over three weeks!!! Praise the LORD!!!

But my shoulders are SO SORE!!! Muscles are SO TIGHT!!!! I'm going to try, TRY that is, to get someone to use a therapy massager on them everyday or at least rub some heat stuff on them. SOMETHING has to loosen them up or I am going to DIE!! It cannot be good to live days, weeks, months with muscles in this shape, tight as banjo strings. There's NO WAY it can be good. I can't relax them no matter how hard I try!!!

Tommy and the guys are working on getting the last hopeful Trep in operational condition as soon as possible. Either to have as back up or to DRIVE (depending on how the Exploder (new name for the Explorer, ya see) does in the next few days) or to sell. Then...well, still saving up the do-re-mi to get busy on this daggone 'stang! GAH!

Okay...it's way late. I'm whooped. So I'm off to hit the hay and sleep like a ROCK!!!

Blessings and good weekend to you all!

Posted by subject G~ at 12:47 AM | Permalink | Comments (14) | TrackBacks (0)

Perhaps not the ones you've been requesting, but ones I know you'll enjoy nonetheless!

The big ol' shindig went well. VERY well considering how long it'd been since I'd hosted a big ol' shindig. Seriously, it was nothing short of a miracle that I could even think about doing that because I haven't done it OR even thought about doing it for YEARS!

We had twenty shindiggers shindigging at our shindig. *whew!* TWENTY! That's the most shindug I've been in a LONG LONG TIME! Woah!

Anyhow, so we shindigged. And the shindig was a shebang. All the shindiggers seemed to be shindug quite thoroughly by the evening time when the desserting commenced.

Ahhhh, the desserting. We had rootbeer floats, we had freshly chopped-n-sugared strawberries for the topping of vanilla ice cream and we had the obligatory 0reo casserole. Actually, we did have ingredients for another desserty drink with strawberries, lemonade, crushed ice and limon soda, but we forget to mention it. *sigh*

I regret to inform that my camera handlers did not get a good cross section of shindiggerers whilst snapping their pix, but I shall offer you what they had to show....

FIrst I shall give you the cast, in no way, shape or form are they in order of appearance:
The Lindas - featuring Linda, her hubby Studley Dallas, her chillens Kenn, Mellow, Calen Shnookie, Miss Hannah Proper, The Grinning Abigail and Zackeroonie.
The Grands - Tommy's mom and dad, referred to as Papaw Tom and Mamaw Tom and my parents referred to as Nana and Pap
Guest stars - Abz and her little sister, Hopehedon'tbiteme, my sis Mrs. Hedidn'tcomewithme and Karen YougotfoodI'llberightover

Now...here we go::::

here is Mellow and Abz...they seem like nice normal little girls...but don't let them fool you. tsk, tsk...

Here, I think they must be talking about Corey or something... I mean, LOOK AT THOSE FACES!!!

They want you to think they're sleeping...but they ain't.

They want you to think they're shy...but they ain't.

They want you to think....well, I believe they're probably actually praying in this shot that I won't really post these pix, but....MWAH-HA-HAAAA!!!!!!!!

BEHOLD!!!!

I think Abz is trying to whistle the theme from @ndy Griffith and Mellow was SUPPOSED to be doing the "bum, bum, bum, bum" part in between them whistles, but as you can see, she quit to mug for the camera....poor, poor Abby...trying to whistle all by herself...

'Course, when I told them to quit being silly and pose for me (actually, I think the words were "Pause, Pose!"), THIS is what they did....

Somebody tell me what this is?! New Age Disco!?!? LOL! That's the first thing they did when ordered to "stop being silly"....me thinks it's hopelss!

Of course, Corey had to get in on the craziness too. He's apparently adopted or been bestowed with the nickname "Chet", so instead of Bond girls, these are Chet girls. *shrugs* Don't ask me...I'm really not sure what it means...but it IS good for a laugh. ;)

And now enough of those goofballs....

Here you see the beginning of the big croquet game. My father considers himself to be a croquet 'champeen' having grown up in a family that played a mean game and practiced religiously and there were NO baby rules. If you played, you played by the men's rules. Oh, and no cryin' neither! Hmph!

Ha...here we go. He's starting to boss people around and tell them how to really play croquet. LOL! Sounds infuriating....and it can be...but at the same time.....it's HILARIOUS too. I'm telling you, my dad's one of the last country boys. There's not a properly constructed, grammatically correct sentence comes out of his mouth most of the time. I just love him!

Uh oh....looks like something bad happened, don't it? LOL! There's Mr. Shnookie staring on the left going counterclockwise, Kenn, Pap (probably explaining how someone shoulda kept the bad thing from happening), Papaw Tom, Linda's Studley and Tommy.

Here is The Grinning Abby. Yes, perhaps the name Snaggles would have fit her as well, but really, doesn't the grin grab you before the gaps? ;)

And since either some the camera handlers were bad, OR some chillens were sneaky....

Here is a shot I snagged from the Linda's of Miss Hannah S. Proper. S. being for Sneaky, if indeed she evaded the camera all evening! You can't outwit me, Miss Proper!! Mwah-ha!

Here you have my own little .... um ... *ahem* .... darling .... *sigh* ....being his usual demented creative self. We call this the Deli Pirate. *shrugs* Don't ask.

Sis would die if she saw this, but most likely she won't and besides, I'll blame someone else for snapping her whilst sticking a big ol' bite of food in her mouth! Ha! This is my MIL, my fweet mommy and Sis.

Finally, one pitiful shot (the angle, people, the ANGLE is pitiful!) of the Linda...I'm not QUITE sure what's going on here...but here's what I think is being said:
Casey - "LOOK EVERYBODY!"
Abby - "What is it?"
Hopeitdon'tbiteme - "I'm not touching that. Keep it away from me!"
Mellow - "Aw, how cute!"
The Linda - "I don't think it should be doing that in the floor, but whatever..."

Zackaroonie.....now you see 'im.....

...now you don't!!!

We had a shot of Karen, but it was from such a far distance, it wasn't very good, so I thought I'd show you one from the graduation. I just love this picture.

And lastly, here's a silly one of Luke and Corey. I really hope this kid can rise above the difficulties he's faced in the last few years and see all his dreams come true.

Okay...still promising to get some shots of birdies, houses and flowers!! YES!

~hugs!!~

Posted by subject G~ at 07:55 PM | Permalink | Comments (16) | TrackBacks (0)

The graduation went well. It wasn't as long as I thought it might be, but even though Karen went early to "save seats", we were still in the nosebleed section...THREE ROWS FROM THE TOP!!! It was in the high school gymnasium, so the seating wasn't that comfortable, either. And it's really amazing how differently you view bleachers after the age of 18. After that age, they cease to be the moderately uncomfortable seating you endure so as to not have math class, or maybe the dark place naughty people retreat to so as to miss lots of classes...after that they become wooden staircase-like seats of death!

The first thing I did was lose my purse over the edge of the seat (thankfully, it was too big to actually go down in the bleachers) and dumped my water bottle out. I was terrified that more than that had fallen out...and it may have, but the main thing that worried me was my pain prescription, which I found in its place, so I forgot about whatever else might have fallen.

So anyhow, Karen went on and on about how much she appreciated Corey and I coming to sit with her. I think she was so afraid that her almost-ex would show up with his live-in or his family from TN or something, and she'd be alone. Anyhow, we did spot him. He was alone. I hadn't seen him for over two years, before the actual breakup even started. He has avoided me like the plague ever since he knew that it was me who took Karen to the police station to swear out a restraining order against him. Anyhow, the whole thing was without incident. *whew*

Got to work some on the rest of the wedding pix. I think there are like 12 or so left to go. YAY! Depending upon how much work each one needs, I may be done with them very, very, very soon....or not. *sigh* Like I said...it all depends. I hope to get to work on them tomorrow.

Today? Well, today I'm getting ready for a mondo cookout! And I was totally unaware that I was going to be throwing a mondo cookout til this morning!! That's kinda the way we do things around here. Spontaneously. Sometimes it's not such a good thing, but today, it's all good.

Ya see, the Linda crew were coming already so we were planning on having a semi-mondo cookout anyhows, then we thought, Well heck! Why not invite the grands to come too? Usually they're all working or with my parents, they're so odd about stuff like that, they won't come, but wonder of wonders...Tommy called his mom and she was off work and immediately agreed to come. So I said, "Now, call my mom since you're on a roll and all..." And wouldn't you know it? She accepted right off the bat!! Said she'd call Daddy to make sure he came in from work on time! W-O-W!!! That's just amazing! Sooooo, then I called my sis. She's been a bit under the weather...and this would be her first day back to work since Thursday. She said both of them would be working til 7pm. I told her we probably wouldn't be ready to eat til 6pm or so anyway so just come on up when they got off. She said they would! ??!!?? Woah!

Now Corey is calling his pals. LOL! Waiting for some of them to wake up, actually. He called his graduate pal, but Karen said she thought he had to work (she wasn't sure) but she would come over. He left a message with his other buddy-pie to invite her and her family, so that may be four more folkses.

GAH! We're having a shindig folks! Now yun's KNOW I'm feeling better!

That said, my MeSiN isn't working. GRRR! So lemme say to anyone who may be headed this way (because of course, you are all invited to my house at 5pm today!) BRING CHAIRS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL!

I gotta git! Lots to do! LOTS TO DO!

Have a lovely and blessed memorial day. (tomorrow I'll be going to put flowers on the graves of Papaw, great aunt Lida, Mayme and (gramma) Mom) *sniffle*

~hugs~

Posted by subject G~ at 05:24 PM | Permalink | Comments (10) | TrackBacks (0)

Sheesh. Take a little break and what happens? The place just poofs on ya. Gah!

Awright, lessee...what's goin' on with me?

-- neck is still, thus far, going out on me all the time (lol...um, no, not cheating on me...just not staying in line like it should) but this last time (Thursday) Doc really worked me over and it seems to have been a good thing so far!

-- muscles across shoulders are still strung so tight you could pluck a tune on them. not so good. :(

-- tommy still working all the time except for taking a day off when he was sick as a dawg with this allergy/cold/nasty-whatever that's going around here. he slept like all day long and all night too. he's about over it now though, I think. i hope!!!

-- went to big-time cookout jiggy at zee linda's last week. it was lotsa fun, fun, fun! then, would you believe it? all of zee lindas came over here the next evening and ate pizza (that they stubbornly bought - hmph!) in the garage whilst zee d graciously helped tommy and corey work on the stang-a-roo. that's what I'm calling it forever now. that or stangie-poo. anything silly, just to see the reaction on the faces of all of the manly-ish stang lovers around here. sheesh. ;)

-- finally got some flowers out around here. mom bought me some for mother's day, then I bought a few more. she also gave me some lillies she'd pulled up around her house. they'd gotten a little overpopulated, it seems. hey...give 'em over! I will take 'em!

-- gots lotsa birdies all over. am loving the shows. now have a baltimore oriel! I think we've only had one ever before. now this guy's here almost everyday. we loves him. <3 have a family of barn swallows building on the front porch. I was afraid tommy would go out and tear down the nest. he did last year. :( he's like that. but this year, he could sit on the loveseat and watch them from the window...made him appreciate them, I guess. I told him I'd clean up the poo, so he said they could stay. hmm...gotta watch what I say. lol...nah, I don't mind. they're really awesome to watch and they'll let you sit right on the swing and observe, too!

-- going tomorrow to be with karen as her eldest graduates from the g'ment high school...after a lifetime of homeschooling. I can't imagine that, and I think she's reeling from all the emotion, plus, she's dreading having to deal with the should-be-by-now-ex and his floozy who lives in the house that still contains most of karen's stuff... maybe.....who knows if he/they will even show. she doesn't even know if her other two sons are coming. :*( so very, very sad. she'd told me about the graduation last week, then quickly changed subject. then called me mid-day on tuesday. now that was odd...just to ask if I would go with her. I felt so bad for her. I assured her I'd go and find out if corey'd be able to, etc. then I thought since it was going to be nice that day, I'd just plan on having them over for a cookout and stuff. when I told her about that today she was all like I appreciate that so much. I just didn't know what to do for him. I haven't even talked to him much this week... etc. and so forth. *long sad sigh* I knew she hadn't planned anything for an after-graduation celebration. her brain just doesn't work that way. so...we'll see how it goes. his girlfriend's family is planning a huge party for her, but karen didn't know what time it was. gah. I just feel so bad for that kid. I just hope his father doesn't make a larger-than-usual ass of himself....

-- what else? tommy's dad has been calling and calling wanting tommy to fix his lawnmowers. yes, that's plural. he has two. tommy fixed one already and he tore it up again somehow. now he'd torn up the cheaper one too. tommy'd been working so much, then SICK...but he kept calling. I simply detest when he/they behave that way. we never hear from them at all unless 1) they want something or 2) the boys' birthdays are coming up and they want a detailed list to choose from so they can shop. since they have no clue about what they like, etc. PUKE! anyhow, he went out and fixed both the stupid things last night. one just needed a switch moved to adjust something er other...like my dad and tommy had been telling him!!!!!!!!!!! the other? he'd been letting off the seat kill-switch and...what? ....KILLING IT!!!!!! URGH!!!!!!!!!!! I swear, sometimes I just wanna throttle those people. you can take the pun or leave it. I just wanna clobber them! I know, I know...just pray for me!!

-- mom's been up here yesterday and today, love her heart. I wish she didn't feel like the state of my house reflects on her, but somehow she does. but I really do appreciate it when she helps out like this. I just hate feeling like she's killing herself. *sigh* I'm getting ready to finish waxing the hardwood, which has needed doing for literally y e a r s. she just got me started on the picking up so much ssttuuffff in the floor! anyhow...I have almost all the windows flung wide open...and I'm sweating. (lovely image, eh?) I'm not turning on the air til I'm gasping for breath, you hear me? I'm holding out as long as possible!

-- I need d e s p e r a t e l y to finish all the editing on my sis's wedding pix. GAH! I have most of our family's pix done, to be honest...and am kinda dreading doing the others. shame on me, I know. speaking of the happy-swappy couple...we all took mamaw out for her 92nd birthday to cr@cker b@rrel the other day so I got to look the bil over a bit...sis got him to grow himself a gotee and comb his hair differently and he looks really nice! who knew?!? rofl!!! wish she'd done that before the wedding! lol! he's warming up to us a bit now, but is still just .... well, just him. not the cut-up and loud-laughy type that we are...but he's learning to deal with us, I guess. ha!

-- okay now...no more white space! yay! hope to start being able to make less sporatic visits to ya'll, but don't hold me to it just yet. it's just too pretty outside to sit in here, know what I mean?!?! hope you're getting to enjoy the weather where you are too! hugs and smoochies~~~

Posted by subject G~ at 11:47 AM | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBacks (0)

Okay, okay...I'll try to go easy on the whine. That's all I need...a bunch of drunken memberships running around here when I'm trying to say something. sheesh!

Um, updates..okay.

I thought I was doing really well with the chiro as my neck was holding great, almost for two straight weeks once, and I thought Yay! It's almost whooped now! but then? He adjusted it on the Friday before the boys came home from DeeSea (and we went to TN straight afterward), then I had to have it redone again on Monday, it was good Wednesday. But Friday, it was out again. Then Sunday on the way to church, I took a wild coughing fit and soon after my neck started hurting really bad. I knew I'd "knocked it out" or whatever, and sure enough...Monday it was out again. Then same thing that next week, it held til Friday, but was out again on Monday. Doc O is now thinking I have some wild weekend ritual thing that I take part in each week. GAH! I don't know what it is, but it's not good. I've studied and studied about it, but I can't figure out what could be getting it out of line. This Monday, he set it and then informed me he'd be out of town the rest of the week.

WHAT?!?!?! NOOOOOO!!!!!! I told him he couldn't go. *stomps foot* He says, "You just need to take it easy, drink plenty of water and not be running around doing whatever it is you've been doing..."

Hardy, har, har.

"So, um Doc? When you say 'Take it easy'...exactly what is it you mean?"

"Well, you know, like don't be reaching or flexing your neck a lot, or lifting or sweeping and stuff."

Um. Okay, that was clear as mud.

Gah. So, I think it's already out again. It's popping and cracking like crazy and it hurts. And I haven't swept the first sweep, I swear! If you could only see (thank God you can't!) you wouldn't have to ask! LOL! Anyhow...hopefully, it won't get any worse than it is right now. Blech.

BUT! The headaches are for sure and defininintely better. It really only hurts when my neck's out. But there are still those tight muscles to deal with. I swear, I don't know if they're ever gonna let up. My sugars have been doing great. Still dropping tiny amounts of weight. Nothing spectacular, but I'll take whatever I can get (or unload, as the case may be!) Even my twelves are starting to get loose on me now. ??!! Unbelievable! Shocking, even!

Maybe one day I'll feel like using the small package of tanning bed minutes Karen got me for my birthday back in November!! I've carried the certificate around with me, but I just never seem to feel like going. Never. I dunno why. And I won't drive all the way over there JUST to strip down and lie in some lights for five minutes either. Sheesh! So...sigh, I just don't know when I'll ever go. *shrug*

All during the time the boys were gone, Tommy and I actually got to see how we might fare being on our own. It was pretty much the same as ever, except when he got home, he didn't have two other children to play games with or to keep some nonsensical thing he was doing going on and on and on... We actually talked some, but stayed extremely tired, too, so it wasn't so enjoyable as it could have been. But they hadn't been home for more than 15 minutes before he was back to his old obnoxious self. Garg. When they leave home, I'm just going to ship him off to the retirement center where he can play with other old men who like to be treated like little boys too. GAH!

Um....*ahem*....okie dokie then.... Corey's back to working, saving up that money to get the parts for his St@ng, and the fancy paint job and who knows what else he's planning....hopefully it won't take too much longer. That boy needs to finish his senior year maybe?!?!? Yes! I'm still cruising the sites looking for ideas and such for his graduation celebration. I think I've found a place we can have a larger group of people that won't cost much, if anything at all. Woo-hoo! Gotta check on that....

Casey is being...well, Casey. I'm having fits trying to keep him on his school work. Before I start that, though...and this is kinda related, but in a different way...

...You guys wouldn't believe what he made me for Mother's Day! I don't have a pic of it yet, but gimme a little time. He made, TOTALLY FROM SCRATCH and without a pattern of ANY KIND, a birdhouse using scrap pieces of hardwood flooring from the new house my dad's building (to sell). I was shocked when he told me about it. He didn't wanna hafta tell me, but he needed to know how I wanted it, and he couldn't get anyone else, meaning Tommy or Corey, to come look at it. He'd asked his dad to help him figure out how to fasten it together, and he wouldn't even do that.

GRRR!!!

When I confronted Tommy about it and told him how hurt Casey was and how upset he was that it forced him to tell me about it, Tommy just said, "I didn't know he was wanting me to help him. He just said he was building you a birdhouse." Sheesh.

Anyway, it's wonderful and get this, the kid had been working on it for a couple of weeks!!! He'd told me he was playing ball at Pap's, but instead he'd been using the CHOP SAW in Pap's shop ALONE and NO ONE ELSE KNEW EITHER!!!!

ARGH!!!! I couldn't believe it!! When I saw the thing, I figured surely someone else had to have at least known what he was doing, but nope. He'd been doing it all on his own. I'll HAVE to get ya'll a pic to see. It was really amazing to see all the thought that went into it.

Casey had set up my birdfeeder holder several weeks ago, too. After pouring the patio last year, Tommy had never put it back up for me, so no birds all last summer. It was unreal how badly we missed them. So, Casey took it upon himself to set it for me again. It's a large wooden structure that looks like a cross, even though it wasn't intended to. It's made out of "gardening crossties" treated wood and will hold quite a few feeders depending on what type and size you put out.

We lost about three of our larger feeders to...well, just plain neglect. I kept thinking He'll put the thing back up and I can hang those feeders soon... but he never did and so the feeders got knocked around by the boys and dogs, etc., etc. So we had to buy a few new ones. I'd never bought a thistle seed feeder before because #1 - thistle seed is quite a bit more expensive than just regular wild brid seed and #2 - being that it mostly attracts goldfinches, who I thought only migrated through our area for a short time, I figured what's the use?

Boy, was I wrong?! We have had the most wonderful time watching those yellow beauties feeding out there, 5 - 7 at a time! Whereas before, we'd only see a flock of maybe up to 14 blow through once, maybe twice in a year's time...now we see them daily. I'm telling you, it's a sheer joy to behold. They are one of my top favorites!

We have cardinals now...finally. Sparrows of all kinds, tufted titmice, whitebrested nuthatches, brown-headed cow birds (much prettier than they sound :), chickadees, downy wookpeckers, starlings, mourning doves, robins and red-winded black birds and......today I FINALLY saw an Eastern bluebird. YAY! I was beginning to think we weren't going to have any! And that would be truly sad.

Yesterday, Casey went to Mom's and asked if she was going to ever use the wooden birdfeeder holder Daddy had built his Aunt Sis? She said no, so we now have that by the front porch waiting for more feathered friends. Ahhhh...

Corey brought The Girl to the house Saturday, as instructed to do by His Mamaness. The Girl, she don't talk too much. She don't eat too much either, come to think of it. But anyway, I just wanted to visit with them some, when Karen called to tell me she was coming to drop off Corey's check. Her first of ten payments on the rest of the Trep she bought from Corey. She'd told me she was coming about three hours earlier after she'd done her cleaning job, which usually takes around an hour, so I'd kinda given up on her. Anyhow, when she called again, I said Sure, c'mon over. She then told me she was really tired and she'd just be dropping the check off and then heading home. Something about taking longer at the offices she cleans. I could understand that, but knowing she pretty much lives alone what with her one (of three) son who lives with her either working, going to school or courting, she could probably use a hot bowl of chili, of which I just happened to have a big pot of on the stove, so I invited her to have a bowl if she wanted.

Annnyhow, once she got here, she got her second wind apparently and felt like takling, so she talked....and she talked...et cetera and so forth. I think she was kinda dreading Mother's Day, to be honest with you. I didn't mind letting her talk it out, but my sugar was kinda low so I wasn't the best respondant plus I had been really wanting to visit with Cootie and The Girl. *sigh* As it turned out, though, Cootie had to take The Girl home before Karen left.

That's okay though...we're all going over to The Linda's, home of The Girl, on Friday anyhows. I can talk to The Linda and The Girl then if I feel like it.

If I can! Hopefully, I won't have to wear my neck brace over there and answer a ton of questions from The Linda Littles about said neck brace. LOL! Them Littles...they can ask some doozies. And speaking of doozies? My neck is KILLING ME!

Doc is going to be SO sorry he left me for so long, that's all I gotta say about that. I'm really gonna bust him a good one on Monday....if I'm able. Waaah!

Tommy took off work two days this week to do side jobs. I asked him what his boss had to say about that. Seems he was all fine with it. I asked didn't his little light bulb come on at all?

Tommy: Huh?
Me: Y'know....you're taking OFF work to earn money doing jobs on your own? *ding, ding!*
Tommy: Hmmm. Nope. I guess it didn't.
Me: Maybe you need to point it out to him? Knowing him, looks like he'd be embarrassed that his top man isn't making enough money working "for him." (actually, it's the city overseen by a board of commissioners)
Tommy: *grumble, grumble* don'tyoustart *fuss, fuss* don'tneedmoretrouble *gripe, gripe* iwon'taskforaraiseevenifIdeserveit *fart, grumble, fuss*

Gah!!

Whatever. Friday? He's taking off NOT to do a side job for money. He's taking off to work on Corey's car. *pththt* I hope I survive. (LOL! I'll probably not see him at all, truth be told)

Well, now that I've whined and updataged you...I think I'll go lie down awhile. See if I can find a comfy position that doesn't irritate the naughty neck. Grrr.

Now I bet you wish Linda hadn't badgered a post outta me, huh? Yep....blame her.

ROFL!

Posted by subject G~ at 08:18 PM | Permalink | Comments (12) | TrackBacks (0)

Your Personality Profile

You are pure, moral, and adaptable. You tend to blend into your surroundings. Shy on the outside, you're outspoken to your friends. You believe that you live a virtuous life... And you tend to judge others with a harsh eye. As a result, people tend to crave your approval.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

You Are a Root Beer Jelly Bean

You are truly All American and down to earth. You don't have fancy tastes, and you don't apologize for who you are. You enjoy tradition and proven quality.

What Flavor Jelly Bean Are You?

You Have A Type B+ Personality

You're a pro at going with the flow You love to kick back and take in everything life has to offer A total joy to be around, people crave your stability. While you're totally laid back, you can have bouts of hyperactivity. Get into a project you love, and you won't stop until it's done You're passionate - just selective about your passions

Do You Have a Type A Personality?

HOW EMBARRASSING!!!!

You Passed the US Citizenship Test

Congratulations - you got 7 out of 10 correct!

Could You Pass the US Citizenship Test?

Your Brain is 60% Female, 40% Male

Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female You are both sensitive and savvy Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve

What Gender Is Your Brain?

LOL!...whatever!

Your Candy Heart Says "Get Real"

You're a bit of a cynic when it comes to love. You don't lose your head, and hardly anyone penetrates your heart. Your ideal Valentine's Day date: is all about the person you're seeing (with no mentions of v-day!) Your flirting style: honest and even slightly sarcastic What turns you off: romantic expectations and "greeting card" holidays Why you're hot: you don't just play hard to get - you are hard to get

What Does Your Candy Heart Say?

*GASP!* No way! WAAAHHHH!!!

You Are Cindy Brady

Warm hearted and sweet, you have a childlike innocence that lets you see the good in everyone. But you're also a bit of a baby. You stick your nose where it doesn't belong... and cry when you get caught!

What Brady Are You?

Oh, yeah, bay-bay!

You Should Drive a Ford Shelby Mustang Cobra

You have an extreme need for speed, even when you're not in a hurry. And while your flying by, you don't want to look like every other car on the road!

What 2007 Car Should You Drive?

Your Observation Skills Get A B-

Your senses are pretty sharp (okay, most of the time) And it takes something big to distract you!

How Observant Are You?

YA THINK???!!!

Your Stress Level is: 59%

You are somewhat prone to stress, especially when life gets hard. When things are good, you resist stressing over little problems. But when things are difficult, you tend to freak out and find it hard to calm down.

How Stressed Are You?

huh?

Your French Name is:

Geneva Lebon

What's Your French Name?

LOL!

You Are a Boston Creme Donut

You have a tough exterior. No one wants to mess with you. But on the inside, you're a total pushover and completely soft. You're a traditionalist, and you don't change easily. You're likely to eat the same doughnut every morning, and pout if it's sold out.

What Donut Are You?

Hmmm.....

You Are 28% Happy

You're not miserable, but you could stand to be a lot happier. Focus on what's right in the world, and you'll be happier than you ever thought possible.

How Happy Are You?

woooah!

You Are Likely a First Born

At your darkest moments, you feel guilty. At work and school, you do best when you're researching. When you love someone, you tend to agree with them often. In friendship, you are considerate and compromising. Your ideal careers are: business, research, counseling, promotion, and speaking. You will leave your mark on the world with discoveries, new information, and teaching people to dream.

The Birth Order Predictor

Your Personality Is

Idealist (NF) You are a passionate, caring, and unique person. You are good at expressing yourself and sharing your ideals. You are the most compassionate of all types and connect with others easily. Your heart tends to rule you. You can't make decisions without considering feelings. You seek out other empathetic people to befriend. Truth and authenticity matters in your friendships. In love, you give everything you have to relationships. You fall in love easily. At work, you crave personal expression and meaning in your career. With others, you communicate well. You can spend all night talking with someone. As far as your looks go, you've likely taken the time to develop your own personal style. On weekends, you like to be with others. Charity work is also a favorite pastime of yours.

The Three Question Personality Test

You Have Low Self Esteem 68% of the Time

You tend to blame yourself when things go wrong, regardless of whether it's your fault or not. You're anxious to please others and rely too much on their opinions. Learn to please yourself first, and your confidence will soar.

How is Your Self Esteem?

You Are 82% American

You're as American as red meat and shooting ranges. Tough and independent, you think big. You love everything about the US, wrong or right. And anyone who criticizes your home better not do it in front of you!

How American Are You?

You Are 28% Selfish

In general, you are a very giving person who treats others very well. But at times, you insist on getting your way - when it matters most to you.

How Selfish Are You?

Your Blogging Type is Artistic and Passionate

You see your blog as the ultimate personal expression - and work hard to make it great. One moment you may be working on a new dramatic design for your blog... And the next, you're passionately writing about your pet causes. Your blog is very important - and you're careful about who you share it with.

What's Your Blogging Personality?

You Are 9% Vain

You don't have a vain bone in your body - almost as a matter of principal. You demand to be judged on who you are, not what you look like.

How Vain Are You?

You Are an Espresso

At your best, you are: straight shooting, ambitious, and energetic At your worst, you are: anxious and high strung You drink coffee when: anytime you're not sleeping Your caffeine addiction level: high

What Kind of Coffee Are You?

You Are Austin

A little bit country, a little bit rock and roll. You're totally weird and very proud of it. Artistic and freaky, you still seem to fit in... in your own strange way. Famous Austin residents: Lance Armstrong, Sandra Bullock, Andy Roddick

What American City Are You?

You Are a Traditional Christmas Tree

For a good Christmas, you don't have to re-invent the wheel. You already have traditions, foods, and special things you bring out every year.

What Christmas Tree Are You?

You Should Get a MFA (Masters of Fine Arts)

You're a blooming artistic talent, even if you aren't quite convinced. You'd make an incredible artist, photographer, or film maker.

What Advanced Degree Should You Get?

There you go now. Amazing what you can learn from silly little quizzies, eh? Have a great weekend!

Posted by subject G~ at 01:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (12) | TrackBacks (0)

I think Dr. O, the Chiro, is helping me. The headaches are definately less frequent and I am SO HAPPEEEEEE!!!!!!

Woo! Praise the Lord! :D

The neck pain is even letting up now. You can't believe how much better that makes me feel!

If I just had some energy, that would be REALLLLY nice.

Monday, I got in to see my GP, Dr. K and he did a thyroid test jiggy. Seems my TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone) is down, which means I'm taking too much thyroid med....so I'm getting a lower dose to start on. Maybe THAT will make me feel better.

I tell ya, there's not much worse thing you can have out of kelter than your thyroid....well, except your blood sugar...but that's noticed more immediately. The thyroid on the other hand, comes on slowly so you don't notice it. You just wake up one day and want to go right back to sleep and STAY ASLEEP ALL DAY LONG!!!!!!!!!

Gah. Anyhow, I'm praying that the lower dose will bring up the energy level. Please, Lord?!

He also put me on a 3-day Zpak, a 5-dayM3dr0l (pr3dni$on3) pak and some cough syrup for this awful hack I've had for over a month. Says it's "post bronchitis".

Ha. No duh! Sheesh! I'd called him about 2.or so weeks ago about it and he said to just wait and see if it cleared up on its own.....but I could come in to see him any time. Yeah.....

Gah. Anyhow, maybe I'm getting better. It WAS getting better by the time I saw the doc, but it just wouldn't GO AWAY! I didn't think I would be able to get rid of it on my own. If I was out in the night air, it'd get a little worse, ya know? So I figured I might oughta get some meds for it, bad as I hated to. *sigh*

According to the doc's scales, I'd lost about 14 pounds. Go me! That's just from not eating so much. Loss of appitite --- side effect from one of my other meds. I HOPE the change in thyroid med will let me have the energy to exercise a bit now! If I could just walk a little, or go down and use Mom's @bloung3r...that'd do wonders for my flabby ol' self, I'd think.

Maybe soon..... maybe soon.....

Okie-dokie....there you go. The Medical Mucky-Muck on Me. ;)

All you never wanted to know, huh?! LOL!

Posted by subject G~ at 08:58 AM | Permalink | Comments (7) | TrackBacks (0)

Well, this whole week-without-kids thing has been completely different than I had imagined it'd be.

We've been eating out a lot. That's o k a y, but not like wildly enjoyable. Mostly we've been eating out because we're both so pooped it's either starve or go get something. Sheesh!

You wanna know what we did Sunday? After they packed up and left us, left me bawling after the whole 3-minute crash course on what to do if they all die---then went speeding off down the road, waving happily?!?!?!?!

Well, it was close to 11am by then, but we both kinda needed a bit of a recoup period, so we just flopped in the living room and talked about what all we could do...or rather, Tommy talked about what we could do, and I'd then inform him of how I didn't feel like it. Guh.

We'd been rushing around like crazy since rolling out of bed about four hours earlier. I had splashed my face with water just to get my eyes open and merely dragged a brush through my hair and snapped a couple of barrettes into it to keep the bangs outta my face. I pulled on an old "work" t-shirt and a bleach-spotted pair of jeans. That was the extent of my attire. As for Tommy? I don't think he'd even combed his hair. He had on the shirt he'd worn when we took the boys out to eat the night before. Unbelievably, it didn't have food on it. He'd put on the same jeans, too, which wasn't a big deal considering he'd only had them on a little over an hour. Doing laundry is not my favorite thing, y'know. But it'd been nice if he had hung them up instead of just throwing them on the floor if he was going to wear them again. *sigh* He put on one of probably two pair of totally white socks then his paint-spotted light-camel colored suede boat shoes. The ones that all the boys grab anytime they need to run outside for a minute...in the mud, rain, snow, etc...

With this in mind..... we finally opted to just run over to Kay-Eff-See to pick up some chicken. Since we were doing the drive thru, nobody was going to doll-up, so we just jumped in the truck and left. Of course, as we pulled away, Tommy says, "You wanna go down to the lake and eat?"

Gah! It's quite a drive to the lake, first of all. Secondly, Karen was gonig to by coming by in a little while to discuss possible purchase of the Trep. Thirdly? WE LOOKED LIKE CRAP WITH A HEAPING SIDE OF CRAP!!!

Sheesh! So, I said how's about we just find somewhere closer with trees where we can hear birds?

Okay...so we drove to the other side of town to an area that's pretty wooded...it's near the County Extention Ofc...that's right across from the Eff-Bee-Eye Complex...which are both located behind the next couple of places I'll mention.

We pulled into the parking lot and Tommy says, "Duh! Why didn't we just go down to the pond at home?!?!" Sheesh! I agreed, so we drove on through the shopping center, where Tommy then says, "Heeeeeyyyyy, is Seers open today?!---I need to go in there..." I says fine, then I need to go in BeegLoots, which is right next door.

"Are you gonna go like that?" asks a very unwise Tommy. I say, "Why not? What are you trying to say? Besides, are YOU going to go like THAT?" To which he answers, "Well, I'm game if you are." And I reply, "Fine, but if we see anybody we know, I will slit your throat."

"Um, well, okay," says a nervous Tommy, "do you just wanna eat right here in the parking lot?!" Um....well, it's not like I haven't done that before...so.....we proceed to partake of our chicken dinner, FINALLY, in the parking lot at the shopping center.

Soon there's an old car that pulls into the space in front of us. And older man, probably close to 80, gets out. He's wearing a bright pink oxford shirt and slacks, a big watch and big rings. From the passenger side steps a woman close to the same age, probably a bit younger, wearing faded red peddal pushers that are a little too small, a sleeveless top with one of those metal-link belts at her waist, the ends of it hitting about her knees. Over that she has a sleeveless tunic. Her longish hair is tied back in a scarf. She has sparkly thongs on her feet (gasp! don't even GO there!!) She was quite thick in the middle and they were a funny site, so of course we began to analyze them.

I explained to Tommy that she was his mistress and was carrying his love child. You could tell he was a swinger by the pink shirt. Oh, and by those support undies wrapped around the car annena.

Um, yeah.

Anyhow...yes, we DID go into the stores all nasty and grody looking. Nobody knew us, thank the Lord. I bought a few goodies in BL, and Tommy bought NOTHING in Seers, PTL! ;) He did find out how to exchange a faulty tool, though.

So, that's how we spent that first evening, other than starting car-deal talk with Karen.

Which brings me to yesterday when WE SOLD THE TREP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOO &-a HOO!!!!

Yep. Tommy checked on the damage to her other vehichle and it was beyond repair unless she wanted to sink about 2K into it. GAH! So, she paid half down and will make payments on the rest. Corey's thrilled.

The Dee-Cee Crew are having a great time, it seems. Corey lost his 'net access after that first night. But we've been talking by phone when "free minutes" begin. Heh! He says he has tons of pix and I can't even begin to take in all the info he tries to give me.

He said he'd written a post like that second day, so we'll have to see what that's like when he gets back. Casey and the Grands are doing great too. Sounds like they will start heading back soon. Dad's got so many calls for work...well, it's getting critical. *sigh*

Anyhow, they're planning to be back sometime Sunday evening, so the trip isn't gonna last as long as they'd hoped or planned. But I can't wait to hear all the poop!! ;Þ

Since we got the Trep sold and transferred yesterday, we are now concentrating on the Fast Horsey, here on out referred to as FH. *snicker* It is now paid off and we have the title in hand. Problem is it's a salvage title and we need to get it cleared, but that means fixin' which means buyin' parts and WORK!!!

They've had fits trying to find the wheels for this FH. They're kinda rare or something and Corey wants to put it back stock. They ARE really cool wheels. Anyhow, one is cracked, so we've been on the hunt for another (or two, since another one is damaged (but not dangerous to drive with). Tommy finally tracked down a place in TN that has at least one, plus the fender that's needed. And I THINK that'll be all the parts they need to get started working on this bay-bay. ;) After they get that stuff done, then they have to take it for inspection, pay a lofty fee so they can get the cleared title back in 2 days, instead of 2 weeks. Considering we'll be down to one vehicle til then, it's kinda important.

We've told Corey he can't use our vehicle to drive to Duh County anymore! That's when the check engine light started coming on.

Okay, okay...I'm kidding about the not driving to Duh County, but not about the light. However, if he breaks it driving to or from Duh County?--- then WE GET THE FAST HORSEY!!! WOOO! ROFL! He'll have to hoof it or pedal it back and forth to Duh from now on and get some sort of basket for The Girl. ROFLMBO!!!!!!!!! (now that would be worth hiding in wait with a camera, wouldn't it Girl's Mother?! LOL!)

Oh, well...anyhow, looks like we'll be heading to TN sometime tomorrow to get some parts. Tommy's hating to take more time off work (he had to take off most of the day yesterday to take care of the Trep stuff) but there's NO WAY I'm going down there on a Saturday. Traffic is HORRIBLE!!!!!

Alrighty then. I think that gets you all up to date. Other than telling you that I've got this horrible dry wheezy hacking cough that about kills me each night? Yeah, that's it. I'm tired. Very tired.

Have a wonderful weekend if I don't post before then!!!

Blessings!

Posted by subject G~ at 12:54 PM | Permalink | Comments (6) | TrackBacks (0)

Linda made me do it!

Candy Cigarettes

You're a total bada$$, but you don't taste very good.

What Kind of Candy Are You?

What?!?! Sheesh! Um, well, I would never EVER descibe myself that way, or anything CLOSE to that way...but I used to love getting candy cigarettes!!! Maybe it was that pretending-to-be-oh-so-bad thing??? ROFLMBO!!!

Go figger?

Posted by subject G~ at 09:03 AM | Permalink | Comments (11) | TrackBacks (0)

Well, I have survived the first 3/4 day without my little childrens. *sigh* Okay, so they're not so little. I tend to wax nostalgic these days anyway and let them go 800 miles away? Well that just turns it on hot and heavy.

Lately, I walk by and see those big bottles of bubbles...y'know, the kind you blow through the long plastic wand? And my mind flies back to the days when I could buy one of those and we could spend hours in the yard just laughing....me blowing bubbles while the kids chased them and played with various pets. I see coloring books and think how I used to buy them and we'd color and cut out the pictures or stick them on the fridge. How we made homemade clay once, and it was a big flop, but we had a ball squishing it on the counter. Then we got some REAL clay, and the boys made beads (a future necklace project that never got finished) and little men with oversized smiles and eyes....

Lord, how I miss those days. *sniffle*

I guess I'm with Kym and a few others I've talked with and read lately. We have new and slightly-less-than-new teens and we don't know how they got that way. We're suffering from the Where Did My Baby Go syndrome. The symptoms are feeling as if you were just holding your wiggly giggly infant a few hours ago, your laughing toddler's chubby hand mere minutes ago, and snuggling your six-year-old under the covers while you giggled about how the flashlight made your faces look just a few seconds ago. You could just swear it was so!

And now? You're there looking at not so much children as young adults, who claim to be, are supposed to be your BABIES!!! WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?!?!?!?

I'm not through with my babies yet. *cry* How does a mother deal with the regret that she didn't spend enough time giggling and playing? That maybe she freaked about spilled juice a bit much? That she didn't take the children places because she felt so bad those days and couldn't? That maybe she wasted those fleeting, precious years?

CAN a mother deal with it? Obviously, most do since there are so many happy grammas out there. I just can't help feeling SOOOOO melancholy these days.

My little boys are gone!!! They are practically men now. (well, not Casey...he still has some pesky boy things going on....and lordy, how I'm struggling to "appreciate" them so I don't feel even worse when he's gone....)

....to be continued......

Posted by subject G~ at 08:13 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Recently I was apprised of an upcoming situation. My parents mentioned about three months ago "maybe" taking the boys to W@shington-DeeCee for "Corey's graduation gift". I'm not sure how he feels about his gift including his little brother AND a week or so with his Nana and Pap (LOL!) but anyhow, he's thrilled about getting to go back. He spent ONE day there a couple years ago when he went with the church for the Supr3m3 C0u4t hearing re: T3N C0mm@ndm3nts.

Anyhow, since my FIL, who also works for my dad, has to serve j\/ry duty next week, they've decided to take off! Sheesh! Why don't you warn a woman!?

So Tommy and I are gonna get a practice run at the Empty Nest thing. I guess. I mean. Well, I'm not sure we CAN in one week. Not with the shape our marriage is in lately anyhow.

There's just not a lot of closeness. There wasn't much anyway, and now he works more than ever and is so stressed all the time, constantly getting calls from work, etc. Blah! At least he's finally starting to see that and is finally talking about it some. But for Tommy to talk and DO something, that's two entirely different things.

Anyhow, I got this little forward in my email today. It was kinda cute. And kinda not.

I'm sure most all of you have seen the W0m3n's Rul3s email where it lays down the rules from the women to the men...y'know. There's always the one about the toilet seat and talking to us more, yadda yadda. I have always related to most all of those and found them pretty funny. Not really so much "male bashing". I don't have it "on me" to look at right now, but I never really found any of them to be offensive. Of course, I AM a female and maybe it's impossible for me to take offense at any list of rules made by women for men. *shrugs* ?? I dunno, but I am able to discern when things are unfair or in bad taste, whether they are by a man or a woman.

Okay, so I got this thing in my inbox which of course is a retaliation for the Gal's rules. I got to looking around on the 'net for it and see that the email wasn't an original as I'd first thought, but it's been circulating for awhile.

But there were several things on that list that just irked me, just really got under my skin in a big way. Really BAD.

So here is my rebuttal. Take it for what it is...whatever it is. The internal cries of a woman facing the old 3mpty nest syndrome fearing a life of emptyness with a husband who has nothing in common with her. The rantings of a mostly insane gal who is not amused by the spoiled-bratty rules typed up by some pathetically immature man who wishes his mommy looked like the chicks in his girlie mags but would still make him chocolate milk when he whines and giggle when he farts.

Here: (and my apologies to all the very nice menfolk who visit here and who I KNOW are not at ALL like the idiots who would Amen the following...)

The Guys' Rules­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally , the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear "the rules" From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

sheesh!

I can't keep up with life these days!! Not even with my own blog, let alone with everyone else's!

So okay, I'm posting to avoid that horrible blank void on my blog. What to say?

Most of what I could say, you probably don't wanna hear....

Sis and her new man seem to be happy as the proverbial two turtle doves. They didn't go anywhere. Well, I mean they didn't go stay anywhere. They ran all over town and visited just about everyone they know. They put up their mailbox and had their sa+illi+e +v installed and a new phone jack put in...they had coffee every morning on the porch together and watched the sun set out there in the evening.

All in all, I think that taking the week to just spend at home together was a good idea. Even though I kept pushing them to GO SOMEWHERE. I wish Tommy and I had had a week to spend together instead of just a few days. *sigh* Yeah, we had a great few days, but it was over and back to The Grind way too soon. I think the Bible custom of the new couple having a year...a YEAR....to learn about each other, to become accustomed to being two-as-one, etc. is an EXCELLENT idea! ;) Even a month or two nowadays would be wonderful. *sigh* If only!

Anyhow...I even think maybe we'll learn to get along with Him. ;) It's still a little early to say for sure. I mean, we have yet to get through the holidays with the new couple. (I'm dreading that, somehow...we've been doing it "our way" for a long time, now we gotta change it again. poo) He seems to do better one-on-one with people than in a group. Maybe. Case helped with the mailbox thing. He got some tools for them and He talked an unusual lot to Case. Then when they came up here to return the tools, He talked to me some about computers. Maybe it's in getting on a topic he relates heavily too as well. Hmm... Ah, well...

I'm still going to the chiro. Still not "holding" re: the atlas (upper most bone in spine, where skull rests) Still getting some headaches, but they seem to be more in the neck and jaw area and not so much like the migraines I had been getting. They're bad all the same, though. *sigh*

I'm still taking all of the meds I had been. About half of which cause drowsiness and/or fatigue. :( I am SO tired of being tired. I could sleep all day and all night, I think. The only good thing is that the one migraine med causes a loss of appetite and so, I've been losing some weight, or at least some inches. Now if I only had enough energy to get some exercise! *sigh* For now, I won't complain about being down a size. No way!

Things are coming together for Corey's M-st@ng, parts are being gathered, half the balance has been paid off in one third of the time alotted. We got him the struts that made it drivable for his birthday and Casey bought him a silver pony to replace the faded red-white-blue one with the broken tail. Ptiful! So he was thrilled and he's so pleased to have half of it paid off already. If the Trep and the Expl0rer will just hold up til ... well, til we can get by without them, I guess. Sheesh.

I am now looking for a vehicle that costs under 20K and gets 50mpg. Tommy says I'll be looking for a long time. *hmph* I'm sick of these blasted gas prices. And what with the Exp's check engine light coming on and all manner of other not-so-groovy things going on with it? Well, I figure I might oughta be looking. Even if we can't afford to buy anything. Maybe we oughta just get the bikes serviced? Do like Bikin' Abby? Hmm? Except we live in the rurals, not the 'burbs. Buzzing over to the Stop-n-Shop for a few items isn't an option. *sigh* When we make a trip to the grocery, it's for more than a bike basketful. *siiiigh*

We've now mowed the yard twice. It's needed it probably four times. Dandelions are running amok, of course, like they do every year. But it's been absolutely gorgeous on the good days and just dreamy to have the windows open and be able to hear the birds and feel the breezes. I've instructed the boys that when I'm old and ready for the home, just make sure I can hear the birds. That makes all the difference in the world to me. To be able to hear the birds. *ahhhh*

The Linda-gang finally made it to my humble sty a few days ago. After the rain cancelling a cookout at their house, and a ton of baby chicks taking up their living room, we had them over here. Wild. :) I actually made it through the prep, which wasn't much considering that they brought basically all of the food!! I think a basically good time was had by all. At least the kids. "When can we come back, Mom?"
"We have to go home first."
"Can we go home and then come right back?"
You can guess what she said at like 10:30pm?? LOL!

Well, that's about all I can do for an update right now. I'm really hurting tonight. Always hurts pretty bad after one of those adjustments with the big thingie. What is that thing, Claire? Anyhow, it wipes me out. Hope I can recoup tonight so I can tackle the grocery list tomorrow! Oh, and the laundry. Gah. How I hate laundry.

Posted by subject G~ at 11:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (18) | TrackBacks (0)

I'm very, 'stremely tired, so here are some kinda random photos for you and my fren' Speedy to tell you a little about how things went.....

Hondelay! Hondelay! [no, I don't know how to spell it OR what it means and I've look ALL over the web for it. DEAL with it. you know what I mean...] Arriba! Arriba!! Speedy Gonzolez heere. No time for chateeng. Dar eez news to report! First photo, pleez?

No, hee's no sad...hee tryeeng no treep on dee chaarz. Si, da senorita, shee lookeeng booteeful.

Weddeeng eez ovur. Now eez time for de keessseeng! Iy! Iy!!!

Heere eez de seelly lookeeng couple. Si. It look like hee hass beeen chake-eeng her chimichangas back dar, but hey *shrug* Whachoo gon' do? Dey eez mah-reed today!

Heere eez de mose eem-portan' part of de marr-y-age! De cake!

Meybey de chake-eeng of de chimichangas waz too much for dem?

Heere eez de keez from de mama. Deez eez de G~'s favorite photograph, she tell me.

Heere eez de new familee all together. Awww.

De newlyweds eescapeeng...

De happee an' ree-leeved an' tired an' broke an' tired an' ree-leeved an' tired...parents.

Heere eez jess some random cheelrens who come to de weddeeng to eat food.

[next day] Thees eez de G~'s boy. Hee eez now old.

Des eez some weird bunch of hombres, no? Si!!!

[April 2] Thees eez de G~'s other boy. Hee eez now old too. But not so old as that other boy.

Day teenkeeng meybey hee eez haveeng some mental problems, si?

An' heere eez real live turkee. Oh, an' dead one eez on de ground dar.

Posted by subject G~ at 01:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (11) | TrackBacks (0)