Society for the Preservation of My Sanity

• the last couple of times, i've seen the physician's assistant at the endo's office. her name's rebecca and she's cool.


• my A1c was 6.3% this time. up .03 from last time, which she was pleased with.


• i'd lost 6.5 pounds since the first of january. go, me! don't ask me how. dunno except stress & not eating much b/c of stress. i don't recommend this diet.


• she lowered my basal rates even more. (lowered them last time, remember?) so now i'm taking less than 20u total! total!! hard to believe when i first got on the pump in 11/04 i started w/over 60u per day! gah! no wonder i've dropped a few pounds! sheesh!


• my sugar's already been bouncing around a bit. it'll take a day or two to see if these rates will work, so i gotta just stick it out. the docs would rather me have a few highs (around 200) than so many lows (over 75% of my tests were below 80!)


• that's all she wrote. buh-bye!

Posted by subject G~ at 05:09 PM | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBacks (0)

the dragon. it's back.
with a vengance.

this has been going on for a little over two weeks now. i kept thinking it'd stop. couldn't figure out why the migranes were back, etc.

but they just got worse. and worse. to the point i was back to taking the stupid meds for "acute migraine pain"... the meds that don't always work so well. and mostly haven't worked at all lately. the meds that for whatever reason, insurance will only "allot" to me 9 doses a month. yes. according to them, i am allowed to have only 9 migraines per month and should i go over that amount, then tough luck. deal with it.

so... i decided i'd have to use some our measley Christmas funds to pay for one trip to the chiroprator and get my neck aligned.
i made the mistake of mentioning this to my mother, though. she and daddy have been going to this chiro for about a month now and they've seen a lot of improvement. ptl!! mom tells me she'll make me an appointment when she goes for hers later that day. okay, fine.
she calls me later to let me know i have three appointments, pre-paid appointments and the first one is blah-blah...!!! gah!! when i got there, the receptionist/assistant, who is a friend of mine, wouldn't tell me the amount! so that i could pay it back! argh! what conspiracy surrounds me!

*sigh* so anyhow, i could feel a difference immediately after the adjustment and it was a relief because i had a bad one coming on when i went in. it was still not such a good day pain-wise, but it was tolerable. sis was with me so we did some Christmas shopping. i was hopeful the next day as i woke up dragon-free, but alas, by evening, it descended upon me even after taking the stupid meds and i went to bed with an ice pack and a box of tissues.

i
hate
migraines!!!!!!!!!

Posted by subject G~ at 12:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBacks (0)

...afraid.

i knew something wasn't right. i could feel 'that' feeling in my head. but then again, sometimes 'that' feeling meant nothing more than i've gotten up too fast. *bah*

i'd come to town mainly to drop off a movie before it was late. it was already dark outside and i don't like driving after dark, let alone just being out in town by myself when it's dark. but casey didn't want to go with me.

i could understand that. if i was my kid, i wouldn't wanna go with me either. so after several times trying to beg and then bribe with food, i said okay, and left by myself. i'd checked my blood sugar and knew it was fine when i'd left the house. i'd been wanting to get the boys a new ornament this year, so i decided to stop in hallmark since it was close and i was alone and wouldn't be bothered by pesty voices hollering "are you done yet?" ;)

so there i stood. an ornament in one green knit-gloved hand... and my keys in the other.

only.... that's not how it looked. somehow the ornament didn't look the way it did when i picked it out and.. hmph. why did my keys look that way?

i thought i should look around some more; see if i couldn't find something better. i kept wandering around like i normally do in there as it's all just jam-packed with glitter and goodies in every corner so that you see something new on each pass even though you've been down that aisle four times already. i would see something cute and then look as my chosen ornament, but dang if there weren't a bunch of other weird stuff in my hand, too! and on my jacket and up my sleeves!! i tried to brush them off, but it didn't seem to work.

i remember getting my cell outta my pocket then to call tommy or one of the boys (tommy and corey were working on corey's mustang) but for the life of me, it didn't look like my phone. it looked like some kind of toy with sparkles all over it and i couldn't read anything but the numbers... sorta.

by then i was beginning to be...

...scared.

i knew it was time for the store to close, or at least i thought it was close to time. i kept waiting for people to leave. to go away so i could talk to the 'little girl' who was working there. we'd talked about our kids and homeschooling and kids playing sports, etc. when i'd first come in. i knew she'd help me. but i could never catch her alone. i was terrified that i was losing my mind. i couldn't understand what was happening to me and i just wanted to ask her to call my husband for me.

i just kept walking around hoping everyone would go away and this girl would help me, all the while wondering what on earth was happening to me. i was getting more frightened and more angry that i was in this situation every second.

finally, i stopped at a display case near the checkout and called to her. when she came over, i discovered that i couldn't speak very well. i got out to her that i had diabetes.

did i need to take something for it? did i want her to give me some chocolate? (fyi:: chocolate is not good for a severe low)

i didn't respond. she wasn't asking the right questions.

finally i said my name is geannie. with a g.

ummm....

was there someone i needed to call?

yes! i pulled out the cell again, flipped it open and tried to at least show her a name, but nothing made sense. i remember seeing the calculator come up, and i think some stupid game... but i couldn't get to the recent call list, which is where she could have found all three of my guys' numbers listed.

then i just kinda lost it and told her i had to sit down, and i plopped down right there in the floor. from there, i kept messing with the phone telling her i was losing my mind.

then i began to get....

....angry.

i was mad at myself. how could i have let myself get in this shape? i had no clue what the heck was going on, but it was obvious that my blood sugar was dangerously low. why i was even conscious was unknown other than God's mercy and grace.

i was thinking about how tommy would be mad at me, the boys would be mad at me and how they'd make the face i sometimes get a glimpse of when they're in a hurry to leave or in the middle of something else but have to stop to take care of me. *sob* i thought of how mom was going to nag and worry and fret me to death everytime i stepped out of the house now. i thought of how stinkin' scared i was going to be now. and what if this is something other than my sugar?! it's too weird. it's not the way i normally do... what if it's permanent? what if, what if, what if???

i was to the point of growling almost, except i still had this problem that this poor little girl, who by now was crying because i had started crying and because i had scared the living daylights out of her, still didn't know who i was or who to call. and... i was getting weaker and less coherent by the second.

i summoned all my sagging brain cells and blurted out "casey!" because ... why? well, i guess because i knew he was at home. ? who knows. then i said "tommy!"

is that your husband?

yes!at some point, she had seen the hallmark tag on my keyring and was trying to look up my info on the computer. she asked if my name was jennifer.

no. geannie. g-e-a-n-n-i-e. then i went on to tell her my last name and i think the road i live on. from there it's kinda fuzzy even though i still remember huge chunks of things i shouldn't. at this point, i felt...

....helpless.

anyhow, next thing i know, i see this face that looks familiar to me... i realize it's one of the paramedics that teaches the cadets and that corey's ridden the ambulance with... then i hear this male voice somewhere behind saying "is that ???" and calling me by my maiden name. i don't know how, but i knew who it was when i heard his voice even though i haven't seen the twerp since junior high. i knew he was working on the ambulances and that corey had ridden with him too, but it was just strange in that state for me to know his voice and immediately know his name. we had this pestery pick-on-each-other-gotcher-back-anytime relationship back in the day. *lol!*

so... the lady started asking me alllll these questions about my pump. i think i just stared at her. don't ask a diabetic a whole slew of questions when they seem out of it. give them some orange juice with sugar (REAL sugar) in it or a regular coke and THEN ask them questions. if they didn't need the sugar, they can take some insulin or whatever, but i think it's just safer (my personal 32-years-w/typeI-diabetes opinion only here, folks) to give some fast-acting sugar first and ask questions later! nuff said.

finally she asked was my sugar high. i shook my head. i said low! and they asked if i could get on the stretcher. i remember standing up (with help, of course!) and taking a step over to the stretcher and sitting down. tommy was there by the time they'd got me into the ambulance. my junior high miscreant pal was kidding me about using a 911 call just to see him. *sheesh* see what i mean? ;)

tommy had brought my glucagon shot with him and so he gave me that as the emts had already given me one tube of glucose but it hadn't raised my sugar at all (see why it's better to give the sugar FAST, and then worry about asking questions?) anyhow, in about 20 minutes, in which time they let me go through my phases of crying and rage and we even got a little chatting in... but then i was much MUCH better. and by then i was...

....thankful.

when i got out of the ambulance (we didn't go to the hospital as they couldn't have done anything more anyway!) i saw that the girl's husband was still in hallmark so I went over. he was up front with their two little boys.. one about 3 and the other just a baby. the 3 year old went in the back to get his mom, whose name is steph, i learned.

she was still all red-eyed when she came up, but i stepped over and hugged her neck as i told her how great she was and how thankful i was that she had helped me the way she did. today i went by and left a card for her. i hope to get a letter off to corporate tomorrow commending her actions.

*shrugs* i think she went above and beyond the call of duty, don't you?

Posted by subject G~ at 11:39 PM | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBacks (0)

Just wanted to mention the awful plane crash at Bluegrass Airport on Sunday morning. We were stunned when we sat down to watch our favorite preacher to find all the news reports had preempted the service.

As the reports kept coming in all day, some of the names started coming out. The honeymooning couple they mentioned? We knew them sort of indirectly. And what a really strange bizarre way we knew them...

First, the bride's father is a friend of Tommy's. He owns a tire store here and over the years has been so kind as to let us make payments on tires. He's also a big kart enthusiast, so of course they spent a lot of time together talking about that stuff.

The groom is the guy who Mom bought her set of Golden Retrievers from about 18 months ago. She's also known his grandmother for years. A friend of ours goes to church with his mother. He played baseball and so my cousins knew him well since they were also great baseball enthusiasts and had always followed their son and daughter's high school and college ball careers.

The bizarre part comes now. I get kind of light headed when I think about it. Seriously. It's that weird.

I had a young 22 year old first cousin who died in a car crash about 5 years ago. He was a baseball player and so was pals with the groom from the plane crash. Deano was in some turmoil, trying to figure out what to do with his life. He'd just dropped out of college. He'd just finished rebuilding a souped-up engine for his pick-up. He had a pretty, popular girlfriend, so in a lot of ways, he had the world by the tail too... Nobody's sure what happened on that curvy road... Did he just think he could take the curve going too fast? Was he not paying attention? Was he trying to top someone else's speed? Was he under the influence of something?

We never knew. His truck exploded immediately upon the tremendous impact with a large tree. There was nothing left but enough to tell that it used to be a truck. Deano was gone entirely. It was a horrible experience for us all.

The bride from the plane crash was Deano's girlfriend at the time of his death.

God has a plan, even if I don't understand it.

And I really, really don't.

I thank You Lord, that You are in control and not me!

Posted by subject G~ at 11:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (8) | TrackBacks (0)

I'm still here. Not in tremendous pain, obviously. I worked on pix from the big surprise party for Tommy's 40th yesterday, but still don't have a post ready for that. Soon though, I hope.

Just wanted to say, I'm not dead. And I think the headaches are probably mostly due to the weather (finally, RAIN!) and horrible sinuses.. or however you would state that. My sinus cavity and the immediate vicinity ALWAYS bothers me. A L W A Y S

So... I'm hanging in there. Not moving too fast, and surely not getting much done. Which makes me really grumpy, which in turn kinda exacerbates the headachey stuff... so this is becoming an exercise in willpower for me. Willing myself to let it go. To accept the fact that, yep, my house is falling apart while it feels like my body is doing the same. But still and all.....

*sigh* Heh... I didn't say the exercise was going well, did I???

Blessed, peaceful weekend to you all!!

Posted by subject G~ at 08:45 AM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)

*sigh*

Posted by subject G~ at 11:53 PM | Permalink | Comments (7) | TrackBacks (0)

*whew!*

Finally! The coughing had decreased muchly and my head is slowly emptying itself of all the gooey sludge that was trying to push out my eye sockets!

Sorry for being so graphic, but dudes! That's how it felt!! OUCH!

Okay...lemme give you a little background info here...Doc O, the Chiro, has been telling me to make an appointment with his mother (how freaky! LOL!) who is an RN with all this training in natural healing. She can do all these blood and urine tests to see what's going on with your body, then I guess she "prescribes" you all kinda vitamins and veggies. *shrugs* I dunno about that part.

But the woman is a good hour away and that's NOT interstate driving either! GAH! He says that all the muscle tightness must be something systemic. BUT...my neck IS holding...or staying in place. He hasn't had to use the adjustor on me in over two weeks, which considering he was doing it twice a week for awhile, is excellent!

Ya know those tables they use? With the face hole so you can lie flat on your stomach? Well, when I first started going to him, I could "lie flat" on that table and my right shoulder didn't touch. No matter how hard I tried to "relax" it, it would never touch the table. Ever.

Last week though? The right shoulder laid flat on the table like a normal shoulder should! Now...whaddaya think about that?! I was tickled about it and pointed it out to Doc. He didn't seem so enthused. *puzzlement*

Anyhow, so now, from Tuesday til now (he's cut me down to once a week since I'm "holding" adjustment") my neck and shoulders are definitely better. IF, that is, it's not just because I've been so miserable with the cold that I was too focused on that, ya know? But SURELY not!! They're still stiff, but NOTHING like before. And I've noticed some other things that really seem to me like proof that I'm getting better!

....H o w e v e r ....now my lower back IS KILLING MEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I dunno why. It's like someone hit me there or I've tried to heft something rEAlly heavy...but no one did and I haven't. So what the poo gives?!?!

*sigh*

Ah well...we'll see what he says about all this when I go back Wednesday.

Today, I'm going to take the dogs along with Mom's dog to get rabies shots. I guess I'll take along our new kitty cat.

We didn't go investigate. It was late, we knew better than to go stray kitty hunting in the pitch black so we went to bed. Next morning, we found it all stretched out on the front porch swing (where she is in the photo above) just like she owned the place.

*siiigh* Casey fell in love first thing. He's always loved kittens. I spied him at one point laying on the swing with that cat on his chest and it was all curled up trying to snuggle up under his chin and he was just laughing and smiling. I haven't seen that out of him in AGES. 8 ^ | Maybe a kitty is just what he needs to forget trying to be a "cool dude" who never smiles or laughs? Hmmm...

Well, since Tommy is working ON HIS DAY OFF....(GROWLING AND SNARLING FIERCELY!!!!!!!!!!!) I need to see what I can get done to lower the nasticity level of my house. I started on the kitchen and have made a little headway. Got a bit tired and ended up here. *tsk, tsk* Not a good idea, Geannie!

I wish you all a happy and safe Independence Day!!! May God bless America again.

Posted by subject G~ at 11:08 AM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)

I am. Even though my head feels like it might burst wide open any second and my throat is all sore and scratchy and my lung feel like a big hairy ape is sitting on my chest.....

...at least it's not the puke & poop.

Praise the Lord it's not that.

*sigh* But how long will this round of hacking and barking and headachy days go on? Gah!

I'm taking Case for a check up (before soccer season) on Thursday. I think, unless I'm a lot better, I'll just have the nurse pull my chart too! Wah.

It's a hot, muggy day here. Fireworks are scheduled for tonight. Corey's patroling the pre-boom festivities right now and Case went up with him. Tommy's out on a nasty pager call. He blurted out something about a burned out pump and the electrical wizard dude who takes care of that stuff is on vacation, blah, blah, whimper.

I think he was a bit panicked. I hope he can take care of it. I hope he can get home before dark. He's worked a lot of overtime the last few days. At least he'll be off Monday and Tuesday. MAYBE. Barring anymore water-related mishaps or emergencies around here.

We had so much planned to do with all this off time. (he was SUPPOSED to be off from Friday through Tuesday) Pressure wash the siding; shingle the shop building (finally); he was going to cut Chubs' dog lot in half, which would require lots of metal cutting and welding (but would free up some yard space!); pull up a large dead pine in the front yard; maybe even get the kitchen painted.

But no. *siiiigh*

I guess God had this down as "sick and overtime" week for us. lol!

Oh well....it's not like we were planning some big shindig. I've felt yucky long enough to have NOT been planning anything! That's kinda strange to think of that as a good thing, but really ... it is. I'd have been all upset had we been planning to have a cookout and then I got sick.

As it stands now, I think this is just some nasty summertime cold.

Happy Weekend to ya'll!!

Posted by subject G~ at 05:47 PM | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBacks (0)

I think Dr. O, the Chiro, is helping me. The headaches are definately less frequent and I am SO HAPPEEEEEE!!!!!!

Woo! Praise the Lord! :D

The neck pain is even letting up now. You can't believe how much better that makes me feel!

If I just had some energy, that would be REALLLLY nice.

Monday, I got in to see my GP, Dr. K and he did a thyroid test jiggy. Seems my TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone) is down, which means I'm taking too much thyroid med....so I'm getting a lower dose to start on. Maybe THAT will make me feel better.

I tell ya, there's not much worse thing you can have out of kelter than your thyroid....well, except your blood sugar...but that's noticed more immediately. The thyroid on the other hand, comes on slowly so you don't notice it. You just wake up one day and want to go right back to sleep and STAY ASLEEP ALL DAY LONG!!!!!!!!!

Gah. Anyhow, I'm praying that the lower dose will bring up the energy level. Please, Lord?!

He also put me on a 3-day Zpak, a 5-dayM3dr0l (pr3dni$on3) pak and some cough syrup for this awful hack I've had for over a month. Says it's "post bronchitis".

Ha. No duh! Sheesh! I'd called him about 2.or so weeks ago about it and he said to just wait and see if it cleared up on its own.....but I could come in to see him any time. Yeah.....

Gah. Anyhow, maybe I'm getting better. It WAS getting better by the time I saw the doc, but it just wouldn't GO AWAY! I didn't think I would be able to get rid of it on my own. If I was out in the night air, it'd get a little worse, ya know? So I figured I might oughta get some meds for it, bad as I hated to. *sigh*

According to the doc's scales, I'd lost about 14 pounds. Go me! That's just from not eating so much. Loss of appitite --- side effect from one of my other meds. I HOPE the change in thyroid med will let me have the energy to exercise a bit now! If I could just walk a little, or go down and use Mom's @bloung3r...that'd do wonders for my flabby ol' self, I'd think.

Maybe soon..... maybe soon.....

Okie-dokie....there you go. The Medical Mucky-Muck on Me. ;)

All you never wanted to know, huh?! LOL!

Posted by subject G~ at 08:58 AM | Permalink | Comments (7) | TrackBacks (0)

Monday, I spent most of the day with Mom running around looking for stuff for the wedding. We needed some fabrics and such.

I had a really bad headache, but one that would change from minute to minute almost. Like it'd go from a 9 to a 3 without warning then back again in a matter of mere minutes, literally!

There's no rhyme or reason or pattern to these things. The only constants are that cigarette smoke will cause them every time, as will bending over or other strong chemical smells and loud noises.

*sigh*

So when we got home Monday, I was completely wiped out. Mom had found an ad in the paper about a new chiropractor that mentioned migraines. Up until now, any chiros here only dealt with the spine. Nothing in the arms or legs, and not much with the neck even, just the spine.

But this guy uses some different method of chiropractic, according to the ad/article. Anyhow, Mom called and got me an appointment for yesterday.

I was there for an hour just doing history! He asked me every question in the world!

I always like when a doctor is that thorough. He had never heard of Stevens-Johnson Syndrome, though, so I told him to read up on it. It was some nasty, fascinating reading. Sheesh. I mean, I couldn't even explain it to him, ya know?

When I explained to him about my neck and shoulders, about how the stiffness had started well before last November when Dr. M gave me those two painful, yet useless shots and told me I'd sleep all night and be all better, yadda, yadda... (I slept 2 hours, and was NOT all better) he walked aroud the desk to me and felt of my neck and that huge knot between my shoulders and declared, "I've felt rocks softer than that! No wonder you're feeling so awful."

Hmm.

So anyhow, all we had time for was that history, so I am going back today for probably x-rays and maybe a treatment. Oh, Lord, I hope he can give me some relief.

Please pray that he can AND that I can pay for it. (they don't accept M#dic@rE assignments) Poo.

~gentle hugs~

Posted by subject G~ at 12:19 PM | Permalink | Comments (11) | TrackBacks (0)

Had it all typed out the other day about the awful scare I (WE!) had when my sugar plummeted so low that everyone had to be called in to mediate. Had it ALL typed out!!! Then, had to run off to an appointment, and forgot to save it!! ARGH!

*huff*

Okay...here goes again...

It was Saturday, April 1 (why not? gah) after having survived the trip to Lex on Friday, the b-day frivolities that night and most of the day Saturday while Corey and Tommy worked on that side job all day.

I got "rid of" (LOL!) all Case's guests by about 4:30pm, so when we got home, we were both exhausted with a capital E!! and made a pact to nap an hour and then get up to do damage control. *sigh*

Good deal. So we piled into my bed and all was right with the world, correct?

Not so. Gah.

Next thing I knew it was 8:30pm, Mom was there, Tommy and Corey were there in their dirty work clothes.

When Casey had woke up, he couldn't wake me, so he called his dad.

Who was running a backhoe and couldn't hear his phone, so Case left him a message. Then he called his brother. Same thing.

Then he called his Nana. He was so bumfuzzled he thought it was morning and told her, "I'm sorry to have to wake you up." *chuckle* Love his heart.

Anyhow, Nana came right up, but couldn't get anything in my mouth because shockingly, it was clenched shut so tightly my lips had turned blue.

Soon Tommy and Corey arrived after getting the messages. Tommy was really alarmed about the blueness, but Corey checked my nails to see if there was true oxygen loss. Nope. Seemed I'd just been clenched up like that for so long. ??? Sheesh.

So, Tommy dug out my glucagon kit, mixed the solution and gave me the injection.

Since I didn't react (come to) very quickly to it, Mom was still worried, so she kept giving me sugar...the rest of the can of pop she'd been trying to feed me (what didn't run down my neck before) and some icing....then a PBJ. So once I did come to, my sugars started to spike. And boy did they spike.

When I was finally able to get up, Tommy and Corey went back to work. They'd left the backhoe blocking the road because of the open ditch there....they had to get back. Poor guys. :(

Anyhow, I felt like crap, of course. During a low blood sugar (hypoglycemia), I sweat like crazy and am soaked when I come to, then as my sugars normalize, I start to freeze to death. I mean, like bone-chilling cold.

I changed clothes with a lightening-fast wash-off because when I'm THAT cold, I don't care if I stink, ukay? Then I piled up with a heat pad and about three thick quilts on the couch and started monitoring my sugars.

Every 15 minutes I have to check. And every time they were going up. It spiked at 400 even after bolus-ing (giving insulin with my pump) each time, but finally, it started to go down. Thank You, Lord!

I also have to drink as much water as I can when my sugar goes up like that. It helps to keep ketoacidosis at bay. (ketones are byproducts of the body burning fat as energy--which is what is happening when a diabetic's sugar goes above about 250--the ketones are like a poison and you can go into a coma if they get too concentrated in your body) [maybe I'll link this stuff] ---I DID!!!

Anyhow, drinking all that water when you're already freezing? NOT GOOD!! *BRRRRR*

So anyhow...I got over that. I lived, but probably lost some more precious brain cells. At least that's the theory about what happens when you go that low. *sob*

Besides that, it makes me feel so horrible when I know I've been the cause of such chaos. That I've caused 1 to 4 (or more?!?!) people to drop everything just to come tend to me. It makes me SO MAD at myself.

I just wanna die. >:*(

But yeah, I'm alive. Angry and hurting, but alive. Ha. Ain't that just great? Heh.

Got more to tell ya, so hang on. If I get time....more posts to come.

Love ya'll!

Posted by subject G~ at 09:47 AM | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBacks (0)

Thank you so much for all the prayers, guys. They have definitely worked. I feel tons better today than I did yesterday. Still a bit foggy-headed and still occasionally stumbling, but feeling SO much better!

The shrieking is a bit less, but still more than previously. I can still hear it even when other sounds are going on, but it's not as overwhelming. The headache is basically gone. I get twinges of it every little bit, but it doesn't just come and devour my head today. *whew*

I slept pretty well last night. I informed Tommy that he'd have to take Tucker for pee-poos as I was going to try actually SLEEPING. And since I had taken a SLEEPING AID, it would probably be a good idea if I didn't get up umpteen times during the night.

Well, he took him potty alright. But does he do like me? And go quietly, through the darkness and with much silence?

No.

He gets up, turns on the big light, calls for Tucker---LOUDLY--- and makes this big production of taking the dog to dump a load!

GAH!

So, while I didn't have to get up...I did have to wake up because even the folks over in the cemetery couldn't have slept through all the noise that man makes! Sheesh.

Anyhow, I am feeling lots better today. I am SO thankful! And very grateful for your prayers and concern.

Have a happy Thursday!!!

Posted by subject G~ at 12:25 PM | Permalink | Comments (15) | TrackBacks (0)

Boy, you'd think that I'd learn not to take too many new meds at one time. But really...I was hurting SO bad that I didn't care too much about that.

So, I took the decongestant-slash-be-n-edr-yl-replacement, I took the pain reliever stuff, and then about 11pm, I took the sleep med.

I probably should have taken the sleep stuff earlier, but y'know what? There wasn't any info on the bottle...just "take 1 or 2 at bedtime". Okie dokie, then.

When I got in the bed, I started thinking (s'about time!) about learning what the side effects of these meds were, so I got up and got the papers that came with them....but all it said on the sheet where there's usually patient/drug info was "see pharmacist for drug information".

Gah! I was too tired to go searching on the net, so I just went to sleep. Tommy was snoring on the couch again...he's been doing that lately. Falling asleep there and he can only be awakened by the pager going off. He's exhausted and it's too much trouble to wake him, so I usually just leave him there with a cover. Heh.

Anyhow, the boys both piled into our bed, and so we all went to sleep.

It would have been a really good sleep, I think, if not for excessive poodle peeing. Urgh. Tucker woke me up four or five times to go pee or poop or both. Why the dog has such a nocturnal elimination system is beyond me, but he was unusually active last night.

I was VERY off balance and just felt like lead. It wasn't like a light-headed buzzy feeling as with a pain med, but a very thick, heavy feeling. Not good when trying to navigate to a poodle release area in the dark. Sheesh.

So, it started snowing late yesterday. We didn't get to enjoy watching it fall, but there was a thickish skiff on and with no cover on the patio, it gets snowed over quickly....which apparently confuses Tucker into thinking he's actually in the yard. Therefore, there are three or four poodle pee ice slicks on the patio today.

And when you holler "Don't slip on the pee ice!" it comes out sounding like something else entirely and makes your kid look at you with his mouth open in that "Ommm!" fashion. Sheesh! Do ya want I should not to warn youse about da potential slippage hazards thereon? Huh??

Oh well. Anyhow, I woke up stuffed tight as a drum this morning. UGH! I haven't been this stuffy in a long time. So, I'm snuffing up eucalyptus-laced steam and downing herbal teas as hard as I can. I'm supposed to take the decongestant twice a day, so I guess I'll do that this morning...and do the nasal squirtage med, too...but as I'm hunting down these generic 'scripts for info online, I'm finding out what made my mouth dry as powder overnight.

The decongestant.

Good GRIEF!

As for the pain stuff, I'd never heard of it before, but it's basically a combination of several things I have taken. It does help turn the pain level down a couple of notches, but it doesn't relieve it to the point where you would not feel as if you need something for pain. Did that make sense? I mean if I got a headache that was the level of pain that the med takes the Monster Headaches to, I'd be trying to find something to relieve the pain still.

*sigh*

I have a high resistance to pain meds. Whenever I say this to a doctor, however, I am quickly labeled (either mentally by the doc or in my chart!) as a risk for addiction!!! GAH!

Both of my c-sections? The anesthesiologists would always have to administer additional meds and they both commented on how unusual it was for me to need the higher dose. With Corey, the anesthesesiologist told Tommy that he'd given me the maximum dose for my size....and I could still feel whenever I was touched...and I was awake. And whenever I've been given a pain med for whatever...after a surgery or for some joint thing, etc....it was usually something that others in my family had been prescribed at some time...and the dose that covered pain for them (or made them feel buzzed) would not even touch my pain. I simply have a high resistance to those things. And it sucks! Plain as that.

Back to the info search --- I'm looking up the sleep med and it also can cause dry mouth. Ha. And a lot of other things. I'm not sure I'm liking this stuff. It's an older medicine that was originally used to treat depression. It may be worth my while (and extra expense) to ask about some of the newer sleep 'scripts. My mom and sister both have Rx's for those that they use occasionally and they work well for them.

*sigh*

So much crap to deal with. Grrr! And I'm still feeling pretty groggy. Mostly when I move, though. I don't feel that way so much when I'm being still. Maybe I'll go back to bed.

Not.

I have WAY too much to do. My house has gone to pot after doing so well keeping it tidy for the past two weeks. *cry* I hate when that happens. But I've just felt so crappy!!! CRAP-PPPEEEEEE! GRRR!

Alright. I'm sorry. I'll stop growling at you and release you now. Thanks for coming by to check on me. A prayer or two would be greatly appreciated when you think of it.

The Headache is here. *sigh* I guess I'm off to the pile o' pill bottles now. *woe is me* God, give me strength today?

~hugs ya'll~

Posted by subject G~ at 10:05 AM | Permalink | Comments (8) | TrackBacks (0)

So, I went to the doctor today.

And yes, I did carry on and cry and stuff. But honestly...I couldn't help it. The Killer Headache was back and it was all I could do to not climb the walls and claw at my face, uhkay?

*sigh*

I really REALLY like this doctor. He LISTENS! What a grand attribute to find in a doctor!! It should be mandatory, says I.

So he's in there doing the physical for Tommy. He's checking his eyes and his blood pressure and his pee and all that stuff. He asked about his cholesterol and when we said we couldn't remember when it was last checked, he wanted him to come in one morning and get that done. He explored the whole stiffness and back pain that Tommy has had for the last few years and prescribed him something to help with that.

At this point, I hadn't sprung my secret plan on him yet, but he looked over at me and said I looked sleepy. I had my head mashed into the corner where I was sitting to keep from banging it into the wall.

It was then I told him I was about to die any moment and I had come to beg mercy of him.

He chuckled and said, "Oh. Okay."

Soon as he was done with Tommy, he asked what was going on with me. When I proceeded to tell him, he held up his hand and said, "I don't think this is going to be a quick fix. Do you mind I have them pull your chart and we just make an appointment out of this?"

Do you see why I'm about to nominate this man for sainthood? HE LISTENS! AND HE MAKES TIME!!!!!

Ahhh. Good, good doctor.

Tommy and I both had apologized about me tagging along on his appointment already and at this point, I told him to triple bill us if he wanted to, I just needed some help BAD!

He chuckled again and left to get the "appointment" started. The nurse came to get vitals for the record and put me back in the room. Tommy hung around to see what the final verdict might be...oh, and to tell stuff on me, too.

Sheesh.

I start again telling him what's been going on, how I've had this massive headache last weekend, then starting again today. He seems much less concerned about the change in the tinnitus and I let that go, because like I said, there's just not a whole lot that can be done for it and right now? All I want is for my head to quit hurting.

He had already asked me once before he decided to make this an appointment if I ever had migranes. And now, he asked me again. Both times, I told him I didn't know. He asked me this time if I'd ever taken any migrane 'scripts. I told him no and I don't wanna, thanks.

He poo-pooed me and proceeded to look in my mouth and ears. He then started asking about the sinus thing.

Gah. The Sinus Thing. It is monumental and has plagued me from my earliest memories. I've tried all sorts of medicines and occasionally something will help for a little while, but mostly nothing really takes care of the problem. It's not seasonal, although it will worsen at different times of the year, and it doesn't seem to be an allergy unless it is to myself, which would explain everything.

But alas...at this point, Tommy busted in with what he thought would be a tattle to tell on me...my be-n-e-dryl habit.

But he didn't know I'd already told Doc about that. But now Doc looked more closely at it. He said the 'dryl would dry me up, but nothing more. Well, dry is something of a problem all by itself, but the biggest reason I started taking it was to get a bit of sleep. But I am up to 125 mgs at this point and I still don't sleep so good...

So Doc then tells me how it can build up in the system and stop working or worse, it can start doing a sorta delayed reaction thing in which case it doesn't make you feel drowsy until the next day! Lovely. Just what I DON'T need!

Okay, you can have HAVE the be-ne-dryl, so what can I do?!

Oh, wait...I tell him I also take a cl-ar-i-tin generic OTC stuff each morning as well. Hmmm. He then writes me a 'script for some different allergy med to try, gives me a bagful of nasal spray Rx samples and another 'script for something to help me sleep.

Then Tommy proceeds to tell him how I stop breathing in my sleep. It was then my turn to poo-poo people and I told Doc I don't do it all the time, and besides, when I stop breathing, I wake myself up so it's all cool, right?

No. Of course not. Tommy informs him (and ME!) that I do it a lot more than that AND that I don't always wake myself up. I merely "snort and wiggle around", says he, and go back to breathing again.

Hmph. Why don't people tell me these things?

So, he wants me to do a sleep study and see what all's going on whilst I am sleep apnea-ing. Sheesh. I dunno when that will be, but rest assured, you will be informed.

Heh.

By the time it was all said and done, he'd fixed me up with the 'scripts I mentioned and was about to send me out the door. He had assured me that this was just a first step in tracking down the cause of these headaches and that was all well and good....

BUT I AM IN PAIN!!!!!

...so, he also wrote me something to help with this claw-my-face-off pain. It's controlled, of course, so he was all lecturey about not taking it too often, yadda, yadda. Then he said, "You know I have to tell you all this stuff even though I know you're not an addict."

*whew* After all the times I've dealt with different doctors who don't seem to understand the extent of my pain and are more busy looking at me sideways everytime I ask for something to relieve it...well, this was a nice change.

So I've been properly (we hope!) medicated and am feeling a bit better. The pain isn't completely gone, but at least I'm not a candidate for a straight jacket anymore.

Praise the Lord for that!!

I'm hopeful that the sleep stuff will indeed help me get a good, restful night in and if it does...it'll be the first one in way too many years. I won't know how to behave if this works.

I just hope the sinus stuff will work AND that it's going to relieve the headaches. The ringing? Well, we'll have to address that at the next appointment, I suppose.

If the head pain is gone, I am certain I can wait til then.

Hope ya'll are having a wunnerful Wednesday.

Posted by subject G~ at 03:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (13) | TrackBacks (0)

Did you guess that this post might be about something ringinggggg? Ah. I thought not....

So...not too much discussion about the tinnitus thing in the post below.

I'm curious...is it because none of you suffer from it or you just don't have anything to add? No stories about how Great Aunt Victrola had rangin' in her ears and it made her drool and swat all about her head like a loon?

Hmm. Okay.

But I am seriously having more problems with this blasted ringing. ARGH! I DO have to thank God that at least my headache is MUCH better!! *WHEW!* The ringing, though...it's still here. And still LOUD.

I read how caffiene can make it worse, but I really haven't been drinking a lot more of that lately. I NEVER take asprin anymore, ever since the diagnosis way back in the olden days. I don't subject myself to loud noises. Remember, I tend to be pretty sensitive to sound.

So WHAT THE HECK IS MAKING IT WORSE?!?!?

*sigh* I just dunno.

Tommy has an appointment with Dr. K on Wednesday for his CDL physical. I'm thinking I might go with him. *sigh*

I mean, if I just bust in there with him for his physical and cry and carry on loud enough, he can't just turn me out in the street in my sad condition.....can he???? CAN HE!?!??!?!?

I guess we'll find out, because unless this is lots better by then, I'm going. He'll HAVE to throw me out because I can't stand this much longer. The Stuper Bowl is going in the next room, the dog occasionally yaps at me, someone will hoot over the TV or the computer back there...and the road noise--the occasional loud vehicle I hear...all these noises are going - - - but I still hear the ringing, screeching, trilling...whatever....and normally, it'd be drowned out by these other noises.

*sigh*

We still don't have the network thing worked out. Despite having consulted 2 techno-geek types from Tommy's work, one he used to work with and our Japanese-American friend who we can hardly understand but who laughs a lot at anything he undertands us say, and a very detailed flow-chart drawn on the back of an envelope showing the supposed way things should be...

Nothing works.

But we can all share the 'net....and so we can all talk to each other without really talking to each other, we have installed a certain instant message jiggy on all the computers.

We've had a blast sending silly stuff to each other. Corey sends recordings on his. Tommy has been repeatedly freaked out and amazed by various farting noises I've sent him. I think it makes him feel...y'know...in his element or something. I have had a blast setting various pictures like this

*heh heh*

Acourse, then he started threatening to find his own kinda pix, as if the world isn't flooded with that stuff constantly anyhow. *huff* So...*sigh* I had to stop being mean.

But really....can you blame me? *wink* Can I help it if he has SUCH a nice face? *sigh*

*ahem!* 'scuse me while I wipes the drool off my face. He's the one celeb crush I've had ever since Remington Steele! LOL! Gah! How long ago was THAT????? Sheesh.

I know what you're thinking.

And NO! I haven't been drooling over those pix and THAT'S what's making my ears ring.

Sheesh, people. Let's be realistic here!

*heh*

Happy Week to ya!

Posted by subject G~ at 09:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (13) | TrackBacks (0)

I'm sick. *sniffle* Yep. It's got me. Sore throat, stuffed up head, pounding headache, freezing to death. Yeah. I done-n got me a cold, people.

I'd be happy to put it on a platter and pass around for sharing, but somehow, I don't think ya'll would 'preshate it much.

*sigh*

So, today I've been downing hot (yicky!) echinacea and yerba mate tea (with an occasional cuppa coffee to wash the taste out) and gobs of vitamin C. Urgh.

To beat it all? Guess who's here. Go 'head. Guess!

Yeah. Flo, in all her ornery glory. Gah.

Well, to be fair to the ol' hag, she's been here for a few days, and only now is being cantankerous. I have exactly five days to get myself to the health food store for more progesterone cream. I'm tellin' you people...er, um....you ladies, that is...that cream tames ol' Flo like no body's business! Kept me from having "that" surgery. I'm TELLING YOU!

Okay, so I'm sick. Nobody seems to care so much. I mean, life goes on. Boys ignore me except when they can't find something, poodles still come to me to whine when they wants out, as if nobody else in this house can take him out for a pee-poo. Sheesh.

At least the sun's shining today. It's colder than a well digger's shovel, but the sun's out.

Casey's bugging me to have a couple of buddies over Saturday after his ball game. I don't guess I mind, depending on how I'm feeling. I'm pretty confident I'll feel better by Saturday. Please Lord? And the two boys he wants to invite are nice. One is his homeschooling buddy. The other is a boy from his ball team.

We went out to eat lunch with his family last Saturday and they seem awfully nice. Case, his homeschool buddy and his b-ball buddy and Corey sat at their table just talking and laughing away. It's so nice to see Casey developing these friendships on his own instead of just riding his brother's coattails and 'sharing' his pals. Nothing's wrong with that, but Casey had a hard time stepping out there on his own to meet people. I'm thankful to see that's changed.

We're keeping the house at bay fairly well. At least those mega cleaning jobs I did a couple weeks ago haven't been demolished and the laundry's under control. That's saying tons for me, lemme tell ya!

Mom told me this morning that she's planning on coming up tomorrow. She hasn't been up "to help me" in over a month! I bet it's killing her. AND I bet she thinks the place is a disaster. AND I bet she won't say anything about the things I've accomplished. I don't know whether it's cuz she's so shocked she can't speak or if she just thinks to herself It's about time she did something, but I don't know why she didn't(fill in the blank)

Ah well. There's that pessimism in me. Pay no attention.

So, that's about it. Other than...my old isp account is now closed, so anyone wanting to contact me should use this addy. (make necessary changes before sending) Tommy called about the dsl yesterday too, a week early, but he called. And...the guy told him it'd be another week. So...we're still waiting. *sigh*

I'm gonna vamoose now. Hope ya'll are warm and NON-sick!

~hugs~

Posted by subject G~ at 03:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (6) | TrackBacks (0)

Head. Hurts. BAD.

Gah. I've been having headaches all weekend. I suspect mostly due to fighting off a cold. I've been doctoring myself with mega doses of Vitamin C, Echinacea tea and Alk@-SletzEr! *sigh*

We had a pretty uneventful, or should I say, non-stressful weekend. Case played his first ball game. Only two kids on his team have ever played on a team before. Most of the kids on the other team have played on basketball teams for year. Thus, our team got thwomped. Bad!

The kids weren't too bummed, though. I mean, it was the first game AND the first time they've been able to play on the full court, and it was on totally different goals, too. Kinda a bad way to do the kids, if you ask me. But there are four teams in that age group and they all practice the same night...which means they only get to use a quarter of the court! Sheesh!

Oh well. There's always next week. :)

We shopped a bit after the game, which was at EIGHT THIRTY IN THE MORNING!!!! GAH! We got a few deals on Christmas decor at the K place. Also found some of those plastic drawer jiggies. A six-drawer tower with casters. I saw them advertised for $22, but we found an endcap with a huge plastic $11.99 sign, so we got two! (I wanted to get rid of this huge stack of totes here by my computer desk that held all my craft-type stuff and was a pain to use because of having to unstack the thing to get to what I needed!) Of course, when we got to the register, there was a whole call-manager-and-see-what's-going-on-here thing. Tommy took the cashier to see where the units were under the HUGE plastic $11.99 sign. Sheesh! So, we got them for that price, which was a big blessing of course.

Also bought Case a pair of basketball shoes since he'd just been wearing his everyday sneakers. On sale, no less! Woo!

Corey worked with my dad, so he was gone til about 3pm. Tommy worked on getting ethernet cable run from the computer in Case's room to mine. This whole dsl-router thing is getting complicated!! I'm afraid we're gonna have to beg help from the computer guru dude Tommy works with.

That's okay, though. He's a cool guy and one I don't mind having at the house. He first called this guy who used to work with him. Tommy had, as per his usual way, really taken up with this guy because they were both into bows and hunting, etc.

I just never felt comfortable around him, though. Sometimes I just get those intuitive feelings about certain people. Anyhow, this guy left to become a preacher. (hmmm...) I know his mother because she's the sister of the wife of one of my cousins. (didja follow that?! LOL!) She's a huge gossip, which I find very annoying and this guy was fond of telling what he knew about other people. Gah. Anyhow, there was one time when Tommy's grandmother died summer before last and a bunch of his family were in town. He'd taken them up on the hill behind his parent's house to show them the whole property. His truck got off the dirt and rutted road and he couldn't get it out of this brushy hole. He called this guy, who then came out with his work truck and pulled Tommy out.

At some later point, I forget the whole thing exactly, but this guy sort of threatened Tommy saying he'd tell the superintendent about using the work truck to pull his personal truck out that time. Hmmm....

Needless to say, I then knew why I did NOT trust that guy! And to further confirm my feelings, while Tommy was talknig to him about these computer problems Saturday night, he tells, nay brags about how he picked up an internet connection in the area where his mother and grandmother live and he hacked into it so they now have free internet!!! He just KEPT going on about it, saying, "And it's free, too!" with seemingly no compunction at all about stealing. I was just floored!!

Even using this guy's advice about getting our computers to connect through the router (which was the thing Tommy had called him about in the first place) it didn't work and the guy offered to come over this week and look at things in person. I told Tommy I didn't want him here and why. After saying that to him, Tommy kinda re-thought the issue, too and agreed that it probably wasn't a good idea.

Gah!

So, our computers won't talk to each other and we can't figure out why. Hopefully, we can figure it out when the dsl is connected in a couple of days. Urgh.

Okay...off to do the plop-plop-fizz-fizz thing. *sigh*

Have a beautiful Monday!!!

Posted by subject G~ at 12:35 PM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)

Okay, so when last I left you, I'd related the tale of my surviving my sister's wedding shower, my mother's freak-out-ness about said shower and continuing freak-out-i-ness over the upcoming wedding, a nasty trip to the endo with my almost-17yo driving in foggy, misty rain and me struggling to stay awake the entire time! and my baby's 13th birthday complete with two pals spending the night Friday---one of whom arrived before Corey and I even made it home from the doc's! Gah!

Okay, so I make it through Friday night, even through Saturday when Corey and Tommy go off to do their side job and leave me alone with these boys all day long. I finally got them back to their respective blood relatives at around 4pm. Casey and I were both completely tuckered out. We made a pact to take an hour-long nap, then get up to do damage control.

So, we piled into my bed and promptly went to sleep. All is well, right?

RiiiiIIIIiiiight. Sheesh.

Next thing I knew, Mom was sitting on the side of the bed, trying to get pop in a straw down my throat. I apparently wouldn't rouse enough to swallow, and most of it was running down my neck. Then she went away and I saw Tommy and Corey in their dirty work clothes standing there. It was dark outside, so I asked what time it was. I was already feeling that scary feeling of dread I get when I suspect something bad has happened.

Oh, it's almost 8:30

I can tell by the tone of voice that it's happened again. I start tearing up. I start asking What happened? over and over, now crying hard and gasping for breath. I can't explain how upsetting it is when this happens to me...

Mom hurries back in and starts patting my hand and telling me it's okay. Tommy starts saying it's all fine. Nothing's wrong. Corey says You're lots better now, Mom. It's okay. Casey climbs up on the other side of me on the bed and pats my arm also telling me it's okay.

But it feels so horribly wrong.

Apparently what happened was that Casey woke up around 8pm and couldn't wake me. He couldn't get me to drink any pop, so he tried to call his dad. He couldn't get him because Tommy was on the backhoe, so Case left a message then called Corey. Same thing. Too much noise, so he left Corey a message too, then called Nana.

Poor baby. He was (like I usually am when this happens to me) so confused he thought it was morning. He told Mom I was low and apologized for waking her up.

She ran right up to the house, but she couldn't get anything in my mouth. I had my teeth clenched so hard that my mouth was blue. I don't know what time Tommy and Corey got there, but as soon as they got Case's messages, they came right over. The way I understood it, they had to just leave the backhoe shut down, blocking the road completely because there was an unfilled ditch they couldn't leave unattended. *sigh*

I cut two hours out of their time so they ended up not getting home til after 1 or so. :*(

When Tommy got there, he saw that I'd need Gluc@gon, so he got the kit out and mixed the syringe. Corey checked my fingers to make sure the blue around my mouth wasn't because of oxygen loss. It wasn't. Apparently I'd just been clenched like that for so long, it made me blue. *shrugs*

So Tommy gave me the gluc@g0n injection, but I didn't seem to respond "quick enough", so they continued to put coke and such in me.

By the time I got "back to myself" enough to sit up, Mom fixed me a half a PBJ sandwich and I got up and changed out of my wet clothes. I'd sweated a ton and soaked my clothes. Mom, bless her heart, changed my bed while I piled under quilts on the couch.

That's how my lows go. I get terribly hot, sweat like a horse when the sugar drops, then when my sugar starts to normalize, I freeze for a couple hours. It's awful.

Corey and Tommy left to finixh what they could with the job, and Mom started making noises about staying with me. She was going to get some jammies and her meds and spend the night, etc. My sugars were spiking by that time. Every time I checked it, (every 15 minutes) it was higher than it had been before, so I was having to drink lots of water (freezing me more!) and keep checking and bolus-ing insulin to try and get it down. (that's what happens when you "over dose" trying to get over a severe low! Can't win for losing sometimes!)

Anyhow, it maxed out at about 400 and then started dropping, thank God! About midnight, my sis came up and told my mother that SHE was going to stay, so go home. LOL! She's so silly sometimes. She wouldn't know what to do for me if she had to, but she wanted to help.

Finally, Mom ran her off (LOL!) and after Tommy and Corey came home a little after 1am, Mom went home. We were all exhausted.

So...that's what happened after that.

Gah.

Posted by subject G~ at 09:32 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I'm hurtin', folks.

Do you wanna know what hurts and how bad it hurts?

I thought so. Well, too bad. I'm gonna tell ya anyhow....

My back is KILLING ME! I do NOT wanna have to go to the chiro with this, so I'm trying to stretch and take it easy with the lifting. Since the worst of the heavy stuff is done, that won't be a problem.

I've had several sessions with the chiro over the years and it's always the same thing...that dadblasted curve thing. It seems my spine has an overpronounced curve at my lower back. It throws everything off and it hurts like the dickens when it acts up.

I really think that when I was a kid and my mom would holler at me to not slouch and straighten your back all in that horrified voice, I'd immediately throw my shoulders back and my rear end out and that got her off my back (no pun intended, believe me!) That's the exact position that makes my back just HURT! The exercises I've been given in the past are things like tilting my hips forward in a completely unnatural, not to mention unladylike position. It DOES feel better when I do that, but I can't go around like that all day, for goo'niss sakes!

So, I try to just curve my spine into a C whenever I can lie down for a bit or at bedtime. The way I sit, stand and walk all put my back in that painful position! For one thing, there just aren't any chairs made for people under 5'5". So when I sit, my legs are left dangling like some dwarf escaped from the workshop, minus curly-toed shoes, of course. Even here in the computer chair...if I don't sit forward, my back will ache somethin' awful. Whenever I lean back in the chair, my back gets in that position and the only way to NOT be in that shape is to slide my butt back in the chair as it's supposed to be, but then I'm left with those dangling feet which is also uncomfortable.

GAH! I think maybe I need to just start some kinda campaign against all seating manufacturers! Ha! I'm positive I'm not the only untall person in the world who is forced to deal with these kinds of things everyday!

*sigh* Nah. I'm too tired to do that.

I'm also back to doing that not-breathing thing when I sleep. Not breathing, whether you're awake or asleep, is just not a good thing, obviously and for me it means I don't sleep worth a plug nickel! I THINK the reason I'm doing that again is because I've been trying to sleep on my back so the heating pad is doing all it can and I am NOT a back-sleeper. I'm a curled-up-on-my-side-with-pillow-hugged-tight kinda gal. Sheesh. Can't win for losin' sometimes!

My hands are getting better though, thank God! They've been really bad to go numb in like seconds instead of minutes when I'm holding things. I know that sounds like a really minor thing, but it's unbelievably distressing when it's happening repeatedly and the numbness is the kind that hurts. Gah. I assume it's a combination of neuropathy and carpal tunnel, but it never used to be this much of a bother. Seriously. Sometimes I can barely button up a shirt without stopping to shake some feeling back into my hands. But like I said, it is a little better.

Other than that, I'm fine. LOL! Ha! Finally getting the house back together. New pix have been uploaded so click on the flickr jiggy to see.

Whaddya mean where's your entree? This is a Whine Only establishment today. Sorry 'boutcher luck.

Posted by subject G~ at 05:44 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

Why is it that you go to the opthamologist to have a check up. The same opth you've gone to for the past sixteen (16) years, and they make you fill out a new patient form. You tell them you already did this, but they say they need an updated one. Even - though - nothing - has - changed ! ! ! !

So, you spend time giving information like today's date, and birthdate only to have to write the same info either on the SECOND PAGE or at the bottom of THE SAME PAGE.

Then you answer questions like are your eyes sensitive to light? They are. And do you wear glasses? You don't. You answer these same questions at least twice.

Then, you go back in the exam room and endure two Can you read the letters to me? dealies, and then they put numby stuff in and check your pressure (when they jab at your eye with that pen-looking thing) and then they do the Which is better? One or two...one or two. thing. Next they put in the dialator crud and leave you to sit in the dark for about 50 minutes.

You being to wonder if they'll need to put more drops in because the stuff wore off before the doc ever came in.

Then Doc finally arrives. He flips through your fairly massive file and then asks if your eyes are sensitive to light.

THEY. ARE.

Then he proceeds to put his headlight jiggy on and using a large magnifying glass, shines the light through the glass into your fully dialated eyeballs...that are sensitive to light! Next, he looks through some other machine. You can deal because there IS NO LIGHT!

*blink, blink*

"Um, I don't wear glasses!"

"Oh!" then he commences to mumbling something about the new girl marking the wrong box and then with this oh-goody tone of voice, "Then you'll just need reading glasses!"

Sheesh.

You think you're allll done and are anxious to vacate the premises when he directs you to another room and leaves you with a personality-less nurse and you fear the worst.

And it IS almost the worst. It's the flash camera.

She instructs you to lean forward and look into the lens. Your eyes are still completely dialated as the nurse does something that makes an orange light appear in the lens. Not too bad. You can tolerate that. Then she makes the orange light bigger so that it's all you can see. THEN she makes the orange light turn white and brighter. She tells you to look straight at the thing and open your eyes wide.

Then....SHE TAKES A F - L - A - S - H PHOTO OF YOUR EYEBALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And. It. Huuuurts!

Then she has the gall to do it three more times and THEN does it four times to the other eye.

So by the time you stumble to the very bright outer office, you're practically blinded and in desperate need of those ugly roll-up glasses, which Miss (Un)Personality didn't even offer to you.

GAH!

So much for going to do the two other errands you have to get done. (bank - to get a new cRedi+ c@Rd and family doc - to get a flu shot)

I hate going to the eye doctor and coming out with less vision than when I went in!!!!

But at least this visit didn't include razors and needles to the cornea. That's the only thing that keeps me from being even more fussy! I KNOW it can be muuuuch worse!

Sheesh.

[desist whine]

Okie-doke. I'm outtie. Maybe I can go outside without going blind now. ;Þ

Posted by subject G~ at 02:19 PM | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBacks (0)

Ha! Wouldn't ya know it? I found out today that the ARNP that I like so much, Angela, is no longer with the doc's office.

oh NO!

Lovely. I refuse to see the other incompetent ARNP. She is an absolute airhead, which in the medical profession means she's D A N G E R O U S.

wake me when Jesus comes...

I liked the doc well enough when he first opened. But he has the tendency to try to immediately relate your symptoms to some of his own which I realize is his sypathetic nature, BUT MY SYMPTOMS DO NOT NECESSARILY MEAN I HAVE WHATEVER HE DOES and he pretty much loses you once he's honed in on something he can relate to. Forget that you have OTHER symptoms or differences from his own.

GAH!

I dunno what I'll do now. I don't know for certain, but the initial word is that Angela "went back home", wherever that may be. From her accent, I don't think it was anywhere within 50 miles of here.

WAAAAHHHHHH!!!

I'm furious and so tired of HURTING!

really...is a caption even needed here?!?

The headache is not so bad now, but those spasms are majorly back and they're apparently making up for lost time.

*sigh* I SO need one of these....

if only....

Casey has a serious case of the sniffles/sore throat AND dontcha know tomorrow is the opening day of modern gun season and he is NOT to be dissuaded from going hunting with his dad. Gah. I'm just praying he doesn't get any worse. Corey goes in at 6am in the morning, which means I have GOT to get some sleep if I can. He was off today and a trip to G@me St0p and W@|m@rt set him to rights. Sheesh. Tommy worked til 10:30pm last night, but took off at 4pm today. He got a haircut and then went to the woods to move the sacred tree stands. And again I say, Sheesh!

Tomorrow night is the awards thingie for Upwards Soccer. I think all the grands are coming and Casey will be excited about it once he's out of the woods. Til then, nothing exists but that briefly-glanced buck. G. A. H.

Oh well...so as not to leave you on such a pathetic, whiny note....here...

Now, this oughta make ANYbody smile...

Have a great weekend!

Posted by subject G~ at 09:36 PM | Permalink | Comments (14) | TrackBacks (0)

Pick one, any one....

*moan* I think I'm going to have to do something about this.

Posted by subject G~ at 01:02 AM | Permalink | Comments (7) | TrackBacks (0)

Why do people say that? It just sounds nasty!

Okay, so anyway....I went to see my endocrinologist. Everything seemed to be in working order.

Good feeling in my feet -- check
Good HemA1c result: 6.8 -- check
Good average bg: 170 -- check
Weight loss: 5lbs -- check

......WHAT?!

Yeah, I was shocked to be told I'd actually LOST weight! I mean, it's not like I've been really trying, except for Monday. Monday I was determined not to eat much at all. I am usually just ravenous all the time and I tend to eat bad stuff when I'm feeling down, too, so you can imagine what affect that has! Gah!

Usually, though, I fail miserably at this. In years past, low blood sugars would ALWAYS result if I didn't eat enough. But with the pump, I can manage that MUCH better! And besides that, when I don't eat as much, I don't require or use as much insulin (which is a fat maker homone, btw, grr!) so it's good all the way around.

IF....I can keep from getting so hungry! But Monday, I did great! I had a large cup of hot tea with milk, a peanut butter cookie (hey, I didn't say I was a saint, did I?) and two slices of cheese...ALL. DAY. LONG.

And the amazing thing is that I didn't get hungry! YEAH!

Today was kinda a bust because Mom insisted I try her potato soup. Then she insisted we have lunch at Rafferty's ® where I ate a delish salad, a bowl of (what else?) baked potato soup and this unbelievable honey cossiant thing. YUM!

But then, I had only a small bowl of sauteed onions for supper. LOL! Now that sounds pretty gross too! I just didn't really want anything else and nothing really sounded good to me.

And that's a good thing.

So back to this missing five pounds....I didn't get too excited about that. The reason being the scales they use in the office.

You wouldn't believe that sucker. Imagine an 24-inch square platform, raised about 4 inches off the floor. Attached to and in front of this platform is a huge dial, probably a foot in diameter, with huge numbers and a long red indicator, like a hand on a clock. And it registers up to 800 pounds

That's right. Eight Hundred Pounds. Eight-Zero-Zero. 800 POUNDS!

It's sorta like this, but an older style obviously, with that gigantic dial right at face level with large black numbers and marks and that red needle. *shudder*

Now any of you who know anything about diabetes know that it's a fat disease. By that I mean it's a metabolic disease and is affected by and affects the way your body handles its intake of food.

If you get overweight as an adult and are predisposed to diabetes, you'll develop Type II Diabetes, which is a disease where your body can't make enough insulin or can't properly use the insulin it makes.

If you develop Type I Diabetes, which is what I have, it is caused by some genetic (they think) defect so that your body stops making insulin altogether. Insulin is the hormone that helps the body use glucose (energy) from your food and gets it into the cells through the bloodstream.

If you're like me and don't get enough exercise and like to eat too much, and you use lots of insulin to keep the blood sugars down...well, you wind up being fat. Because you need so much insulin and well, I don't understand all the dynamic of why, but I have it on good authority that insulin is a fat hormone.

So...I've gained about 20 pounds in the year (pump anniversary is 11/2! Wow!) I've had my insulin pump because for the first time since I was eight years old, I have been able to eat whatever I wanted without getting sicker than a dog from it. But that means I've been pumping a big lot of insulin through to take care of all the goodies.

Guh.

Anyhow, I figure that a scales that has that wide a range might not discern a measly five pounds, ya know? LOL! But I guess I'll take it and be encouraged and keep trying to cut way back on my eating.

The biggest challenge is not getting hungry or wanting to eat what the guys are eating.

*shudder* That is one tall order!

Anyhow...this is a long entry that I meant to keep short and sweet...but had to go wash greens in between, so I lost my train of thought.

It's pretty bad when you lose a whole train.

Posted by subject G~ at 12:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)